Go Back  

I Know I Am Stirring Up a Hornet's Nest Here 

Current Rating:

Join NowJoin Now
 
  #51  
Old 02-18-2012, 02:05 PM
brushdaft
Offline:
My Rank: LANCE CORPORAL
Poster Rank:2650
Male
Join Date: Aug 2009
 
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Activity Longevity
0/20 15/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssssss101
Re: I Know I Am Stirring Up a Hornet's Nest Here

Quote:
Originally Posted by juliemd View Post
I believe there is a higher power, just not in the way all the bible thumpers make it out to be.
This is my belief too.

Reply With Quote
  #52  
Old 02-18-2012, 02:34 PM
Billthegravedigger's Avatar
My Rank: MAJOR
Poster Rank:95
Male.
Join Date: Apr 2010
 
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 361 Post(s)
Activity Longevity
1/20 14/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssss11689
Re: I Know I Am Stirring Up a Hornet's Nest Here

Quote:
Originally Posted by ernyzaz View Post
dude you are grown man, and i see your not dumb or annything, but you believe in god. In my opinion there is no god, history books are lieing. The people who believes, if something goes teribly wrong, they say, 'oh well god wanted that and he will save us' :D That is insane, watch zeitgeist, and listen to George Carlin speaking about god. And think, use your head. If no one would show you or tell you, you would not even know about this bullshit, but we live in age when you are child, you are told that there is god etc. If i born in island where no one lives, and some1 come and teach me some english and tell for example the water is god, hes your creator :D i would believe becouse ge told me.
Actually, I don't believe in God because of what others have told me. I would say you, like me and others, have seen preachers preach, then head out to drink and do whatever else they want.

Going by that, it's no wonder so many people think God is not real, or if preachers like so and so can do whatever they want and make it to heaven, then I can too. I understand that 100 %. The only thing is ALL humans mess up. I have seen people base their faith on preachers, and when the preacher messes up(and he will), then they think their faith is worthless.

We humans fuck up, simple as that. you can not base your faith in a human, because they will mess up and let you down. My dad is dead now, died Thanksgiving day, 2010. He absoloutely loved Jimmy Swaggart. When he messed up and confessed on live t.v. that he had an affair, it really hurt my dad. Try to understand my father was a severe alchoholic, and watching him on t.v. was as close as he got to church.

I tried to tell him that people mess up, and he said so what ? He was a preacher. I told him yes he was, is that supposed to make dealing with temptation easier on him ? No, it makes it harder. I still don't think he got over that, but that's is a different story I guess.

You want to know what made me realize there is truely a God ? Satanism. I was a "self styled satanist", the most dangerous kind. Knew nothing of nothing, and thought I knew it all. That cost me big time too. I started out with a couple of people that seemed to accept me, then progressed into even worse shit. When someone accepts you for who you are, or rather you think they do, they can slowly but surely lead you into stuff you would normally not give a second thought.

It was still my fault though, I chose to do the things I did, they did not hold a gun to my head. I have seen demons, they are real. I was in some really bad shit people. Most of it would have me thrown in prision or a mental ward for life.

How did I come about my realization ? I was at the hospital when an extended family member was close to death. They told us to go in and see her, but she would not see us. She had went into a coma and was on the verge of death. About 4 different doctors and 7 different nurse told us it would be within the hour.

Her eyes had set, pupils were fixed and dialated, and the life support was keeping her breathing.

Let me take a minute here to say this.......I have nothing to gain by lying about any of this. I know some will think I am crazy, which we all are in one way or another, and some will say I am full of shit. So be it. Remember, I am not asking for money, and I am not trying to convert anyone into being a Christian. I was and am one of the worst sinners that ever lived, I am just sharing this to get people thinking a little.

The time came and we went in to see her, and she was almost dead. I walked over next to her and held her hand. She opened her eyes, looked directly into mine and said " Little Bill, you need to get out. You are going to be in big trouble. " Everyone in the room turned and stared at her, then me. I was thinking she meant get out of the room and turned to leave, and she would not let go of my hand. " I mean the bad stuff you are doing Little Bill, you are going to wind up in bad trouble. "

I had not seen this woman in at least two years, and though some members knew what I was into, they tried to keep stuff like that from her so she would not worry about it all the time. She looked me in the eyes and said " I know all about it, and I have been praying for you. I asked God not to take me until I had spoken my peace to you, and I love you. " I told her I loved her too, and she said " I know. " And she took her final breath and died.

I know that sounds like a fantastic story to some people, I understand that. But it did happen, and I have nothing to gain by sharing this with everyone, if anything, I stand to be ridiculed. I accept that, and so be it. Back downstairs smoking a cig, trying to process what had just happened, a man I have never seen in my life walks up to me, and looks me in the eyes. The look in his eyes scared the shit out of me, that is the ONLY time someone has freaked me out by looking into my eyes that way. I have had people look me in the eyes before a fight, and I wont lie, they intimidated me somewhat, but I would not and wont back down. This was way past any of that people.

My blood ran cold. He looked me in the eyes a good minute at least, and said " That woman loved you enough to want to stay and suffer until she had a chance to tell you that. You loved her too, heed her advice. I fear what will happen to you if you do not. "

I know some will think I am full of shit, and I kind of expect it.. But seriously, I have nothing to gain from this except ridicule. I really don't care though, weither people believe me or not, it will not change what happened. I got my life somewhat back on track after that. I don't attend church much, I cuss, I drink about twice a year, and like porn as much as any other red blooded man. But it made me realize God is real, and I do thank him for everything, because after being shot 5 times, being in wrecks, fights galore, stabbed, overdosing, and the list goes on, I am still here. I don't know why, but I am.

I have three beautiful daughters that are the best gift I have ever recieved, and I would die in a heartbeat for them. I do not lie to them about death, sex, drugs, or any of the other things life throws at us. I don't lie to them about God either. I tell them he is real, and everyone will find that out one day, but at the same time, we are all responsable for our actions. We choose what to do, and if we choose to do evil, it is our choice, and we will pay for it in the long run.

I don't know why I shared this with everyone, but I am glad I did, even though some will say I am lying or full of shit.

Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Billthegravedigger For This Useful Post:
brushdaft, ernyzaz, khathryn, lkduke3, swheaton
  #53  
Old 02-18-2012, 02:45 PM
Ess-Eye
Offline:
So Fucking Banned
Poster Rank:96
Cyborg.
Join Date: Feb 2010
 
Mentioned: 12 Post(s)
Quoted: 1515 Post(s)
Activity Longevity
0/20 14/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssss11605
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billthegravedigger View Post
But fuck it. Some believe in God, some don't. For those who do not believe he is real, what do you think about the Bible Code ?

Who wrote it, when and how ?
Who: Chuck Norris.
When: In his sleep.
How: Without even trying.


Reply With Quote
  #54  
Old 02-18-2012, 02:52 PM
Billthegravedigger's Avatar
My Rank: MAJOR
Poster Rank:95
Male.
Join Date: Apr 2010
 
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 361 Post(s)
Activity Longevity
1/20 14/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssss11689
Re: I Know I Am Stirring Up a Hornet's Nest Here

Quote:
Originally Posted by satanic ideals View Post
Who: Chuck Norris.
When: In his sleep.
How: Without even trying.

SI, I think that finger pushed through your nose like that may have done something to you. Nah, seriously, you have been respectful as well, and I appreciate it.

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Billthegravedigger For This Useful Post:
Ess-Eye
  #55  
Old 02-18-2012, 02:59 PM
Ess-Eye
Offline:
So Fucking Banned
Poster Rank:96
Cyborg.
Join Date: Feb 2010
 
Mentioned: 12 Post(s)
Quoted: 1515 Post(s)
Activity Longevity
0/20 14/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssss11605
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billthegravedigger View Post
SI, I think that finger pushed through your nose like that may have done something to you. Nah, seriously, you have been respectful as well, and I appreciate it.
I was just playing

In all honesty though, mate, I don't know too much about the bible code, apart from the fact that it predicted Rasputins death (I think) and apparently predicted 9/11 and the ensuing war pretty much 100% correctly, I have no idea who wrote it, or how, but that's just because I haven't read up on it that much, but I'm definitely going to now, it's very interesting indeed

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Ess-Eye For This Useful Post:
Billthegravedigger
  #56  
Old 02-18-2012, 03:09 PM
Billthegravedigger's Avatar
My Rank: MAJOR
Poster Rank:95
Male.
Join Date: Apr 2010
 
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 361 Post(s)
Activity Longevity
1/20 14/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssss11689
Re: I Know I Am Stirring Up a Hornet's Nest Here

Quote:
Originally Posted by satanic ideals View Post
I was just playing

In all honesty though, mate, I don't know too much about the bible code, apart from the fact that it predicted Rasputins death (I think) and apparently predicted 9/11 and the ensuing war pretty much 100% correctly, I have no idea who wrote it, or how, but that's just because I haven't read up on it that much, but I'm definitely going to now, it's very interesting indeed
Thank you man. You have always showed me respect, and I truely appreciate it. You are cool as hell man. I know it predicted the killing of that Rabin man as well. Don't remember his first name right off.

They tried to warn him at least twice, and he would not listen. He was killed just as it said he would, when it said he would. I know they found things pertaining to Princess Diana in Moby Dick, and some say that is proof it is not real. But it goes much further than that with this subject.

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Billthegravedigger For This Useful Post:
Ess-Eye
  #57  
Old 02-18-2012, 03:32 PM
ernyzaz's Avatar
ernyzaz
Offline:
My Rank: SERGEANT
Poster Rank:1071
Join Date: May 2010
 
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Activity Longevity
0/20 14/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssssss407
Re: I Know I Am Stirring Up a Hornet's Nest Here

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billthegravedigger View Post
SI, I think that finger pushed through your nose like that may have done something to you. Nah, seriously, you have been respectful as well, and I appreciate it.
umm i replyed to this post cuz your post with story was to long :D interesting story you have, bu it can all be coinsidents, im not saying it was, but it CAN be. I highly recomend you to watc, george carlin talking about god and religion and also film series of zeitgeist. Btw there actualy is some bizare things that no1 can explain, but most of them in the bad way. Annyway our system is so fucked up there are like 5 percent people capeable of critical thinking becouso of our system.

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ernyzaz For This Useful Post:
Billthegravedigger
  #58  
Old 02-18-2012, 03:40 PM
dankboosh
Offline:
My Rank: PRIVATE FIRST CLASS
Poster Rank:3214
Male.
Join Date: Jul 2010
 
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Activity Longevity
0/20 13/20
Today Posts
0/11 sssssss74
Re: I Know I Am Stirring Up a Hornet's Nest Here

Oh boy. I'll do my best to be respectful, since that seems to be what Bill wants most. Bill, in one of your earlier comments, you stated that god is real. Then later you said no one can really know if he's real, but we'll find out when we die. Which is it?

You're a believer, and you have a satanist background. Why is it that people with fucked up pasts always end up believing in god? Look at the executions in the usa threads, 90% of those piece of shit murderers about to be put to death use their last words to praise god. Drug addicts turn to god to recover. Child molesters and rapists say they've found god... after they've been caught and prosecuted. Perhaps I need to hail satan, kill someone, rape someone or get hooked on meth to find god. If god wanted to help these people turn their lives around... let me take a detour for a second.

The bible says god gave us all free will, which explains why he doesn't just force us to believe in him. Yet many believers, like Bill here, have fantastical stories about how god spoke to them in one way or another. Through a dream, another person, or even directly to them. Why does he pick people who have used that free will to fuck up their own lives? Why doesn't he choose to interject himself in situations where people's lives have been ruined by things they cannot control? Paraplegics, the mentally challenged, crack babies, etc. Makes no sense.

The mind is a powerful tool. It can play tricks on us. Like when people see a light during a near death experience and think it's the light of heaven or whatever, when it can actually be medically explained quite easily.

The bible is such an unbelievable story, it's like the diary of a madman. People believe because they were raised that way, they use it as a crutch or to convince themselves and others that they have reformed. The ability to live a good life without sin is in us all, no one needs religion for that. In this day and age, it baffles me that so many people disagree with that.

Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to dankboosh For This Useful Post:
Billthegravedigger, ernyzaz
  #59  
Old 02-18-2012, 04:01 PM
ernyzaz's Avatar
ernyzaz
Offline:
My Rank: SERGEANT
Poster Rank:1071
Join Date: May 2010
 
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Activity Longevity
0/20 14/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssssss407
Re: I Know I Am Stirring Up a Hornet's Nest Here

agree with dankboosh, annyone could create the bible, and its 100 a genius made book, cuz still till this day people actualy believe it and follow it :))) bible is like tv, controling our thinking without our knowlege. Imo its systen foult, there are many things to talk, but i not gona start.

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ernyzaz For This Useful Post:
dankboosh
  #60  
Old 02-18-2012, 04:22 PM
Billthegravedigger's Avatar
My Rank: MAJOR
Poster Rank:95
Male.
Join Date: Apr 2010
 
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Quoted: 361 Post(s)
Activity Longevity
1/20 14/20
Today Posts
0/11 ssss11689
Re: I Know I Am Stirring Up a Hornet's Nest Here

Quote:
Originally Posted by ernyzaz View Post
umm i replyed to this post cuz your post with story was to long :D interesting story you have, bu it can all be coinsidents, im not saying it was, but it CAN be. I highly recomend you to watc, george carlin talking about god and religion and also film series of zeitgeist. Btw there actualy is some bizare things that no1 can explain, but most of them in the bad way. Annyway our system is so fucked up there are like 5 percent people capeable of critical thinking becouso of our system.

Thank you. Respect as well, and that means a lot to me. I know there are ways it can be explained, but the way everything happened all at once is what stuck with me.

Have you ever looked into someone's eyes and seen pure evil ? I have. I know what evil looks like when it comes to people, mainly because I was and still am evil. I am far from a saint, and anyone that knows me can and WILL tell you that.

When I looked into that man's eyes, and he scared the shit out of me, it was not evil I saw. I am not afraid of evil, I am evil as a person can be I guess. They only thing when it comes to me is kids. I love all children, period. Other than that, I have done some shit that would make your skin crawl. I would love to be an executioner when it comes to child killers and child molesters. I have no sympathy or care for someone that would harm a child, and would just as soon kill them as look at them.

The main change in me after that was started to have respect for life, human life. Before, I would just about kill someone for the fun of it. I spent some time in jail for beating a man half to death. I am not proud of it now, but I was at one time. I glared right at the judge while he was talking to me, and he looked puzzled. He said, I get the impression you are not bothered at all by what you have done. I told him " I am not bothered, I do not care at all. It was self defense. "

He looked at me a minute, and said " That is where you are wrong. It was self defense to fight him off of you, it went past self defense when you kept hitting him til you broke his jaw and fractured his skull. To be quite honest, I wish I could give you more time, you deserve it. "

That tells you my mind set at that time. I would have no doubt killed him, but a cop brought me to my "senses" with his batton. I just kept getting worse too. After so long, I looked at everything I had done, and what I had put my family through. I was ashamed of it too.

Later that night, I decided to "fix" the problem. I had been fussing with my bitch of an ex wife, and said something to the effect of shooting myself. She thought I was joking, and said "Well hold on, I will go get you the gun ! " And she did. I cocked it, put it to my chest and said," Youdon't give a shit one way or the other, but I wont blow my head off, some people might want to see me in my casket to make sure I am dead." How is that for vanity ? Don't want to live, but worried about how I was going to look.

I cocked it, put it over my heart and pulled the trigger. It misfired. You know the chances of a centerfire bullet misfiring ? It is really high, and it does happen, but not that often.

I got pissed off even more, I could not even kill myself right, how fucked up is that ?

I said " Well, I guess it is not my day to die. " Her being the bitch she was said " Or maybe you just did not do it right ! " Well, ok. Sure, why not ?

I waited til about 9:00 pm, and dumped an entire bottle of Elavils into my hand. There were 30 of them, 150 mgs each. I swallowed the entire bottle at once, then poured about 15 1 mg Xanaxs in my hand, and swallowed them too. I had 20 Percocet 10s, and swallowed everyone of them to boot.

I was sitting there waiting, and waiting, and waiting. After they had gotten into my system real good, I scooted up in the bed, and layed back. I thought to myself, I will do it right this time. I wont say I had some sort of out of body experience, because I did not. However, I woke up the next day. THAT many pills should have killed a bull elephant. Not to mention what they were, and the mgs that they were.

I remember waking up the next day, looking around, amazed. I did it again, I fucked up my suicide attempt. How can one dumbass fuck up that many times, that close together ? That is what I kept thinking. Knock, knock. Who the fuck ? I'll sit here, they will go away. Knock, knock. Pissed at the world, I slung the door open. Guess who ?

The VERY SAME MAN that talked to me at the hospital. He said " You know, God is only going to keep you from killing yourself so many times, he is getting fed up with you. " The last time I had seen him, was at that hospital, a few years before. And over 80 miles away. I know, I know. It sounds like horseshit, but it did happen. The other stuff, yeah, it could be explained away I guess, but that many circumstances ? The same man ? That far away ? That many pills ? A centerfire bullet misfiring ?

We all ahve different feelings and thoughts about God, but to me, I have NO DOUBT he is real. Otherwise, my ass would be maggotfood.

Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Billthegravedigger For This Useful Post:
swheaton

Powered by vBulletin Copyright 2000-2010 Jelsoft Enterprises Limited.

Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO