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#1
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01-30-2025, 06:33 PM
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 ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:272 Join Date: Aug 2022 Posts: 5,087
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Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
Mérida, Venezuela A 60-year-old night watchman, José L.Z.D., lost his left arm when, whilst drunk, he entered the lion enclosure at the zoo he worked at and attempted to pet one of the lions through the bars of their cage. According to some reports, José spent the day drinking with friends, and despite being intoxicated and being warned to rest, he decided to carry out his duties.  ·  ·  ·  ·  · |
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#2
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01-30-2025, 07:25 PM
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 ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:206 Iceman Join Date: Aug 2017 Posts: 7,503 7,503Posts 12,801Thanked 3,630Quoted 19Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
. Man-burger |
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#3
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01-30-2025, 08:48 PM
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 ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:122 Happy Happy Happy Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 13,256 13,256Posts 25,238Thanked 4,330Quoted 23Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
Good Simba
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#4
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01-31-2025, 03:33 AM
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 ★ Legacy Member ★ Poster Rank:110 Secret Agent Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 14,772 14,772Posts 49,063Thanked 3,048Quoted 6Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
They’re considered “wild” animals for a reason.  |
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#5
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01-31-2025, 03:56 AM
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 My Rank: FIRST LIEUTENANT Poster Rank:240 Male Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 6,017
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
good lion  |
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#6
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01-31-2025, 01:37 PM
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 The Devil's Left Hand Poster Rank:70 Male Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 22,202 22,202Posts 43,088Thanked 9,551Quoted 21Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
He forgot to cast the magical spell Pspsps to calm the lion.
__________________ Why so sad? Your tears are no match for mine. |
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#7
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01-31-2025, 05:43 PM
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| ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:92 Male Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 17,170 17,170Posts 44,902Thanked 4,702Quoted 8Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
The Lion only attacked him after he had first dis-armed him. Seems fine to me!  |
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#8
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01-31-2025, 07:40 PM
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 My Rank: LANCE CORPORAL Poster Rank:1890 Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 272 272Posts 175Thanked 184Quoted 0Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
Fuck around and find out.
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#9
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02-01-2025, 04:34 AM
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 ✝Mudderator from Hell✝ Poster Rank:10 e-mail Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 96,624
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
that's how to sober up instantly  |
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#10
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02-01-2025, 09:03 PM
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 ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:268 ꓕSIꓤIꓕ∀S ϽINOᗡꓤ∀S Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 5,176
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
No video, but found the audio transcript: "Heeeere kitty-katty-kitty... aaaaaahhhhHHHH!!!"
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