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#1
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01-30-2025, 07:33 PM
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 ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:269 Join Date: Aug 2022 Posts: 5,166
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Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
Mérida, Venezuela A 60-year-old night watchman, José L.Z.D., lost his left arm when, whilst drunk, he entered the lion enclosure at the zoo he worked at and attempted to pet one of the lions through the bars of their cage. According to some reports, José spent the day drinking with friends, and despite being intoxicated and being warned to rest, he decided to carry out his duties.  ·  ·  ·  ·  · |
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#2
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01-30-2025, 08:25 PM
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 ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:206 Iceman Join Date: Aug 2017 Posts: 7,503 7,503Posts 12,808Thanked 3,630Quoted 19Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
. Man-burger |
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#3
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01-30-2025, 09:48 PM
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 ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:120 Happy Happy Happy Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 13,424 13,424Posts 25,781Thanked 4,377Quoted 26Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
Good Simba
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#4
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01-31-2025, 04:33 AM
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 ★ Legacy Member ★ Poster Rank:108 Secret Agent Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 15,025 15,025Posts 49,885Thanked 3,084Quoted 6Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
They’re considered “wild” animals for a reason.  |
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#5
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01-31-2025, 04:56 AM
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 My Rank: FIRST LIEUTENANT Poster Rank:234 Male Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 6,130
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6,130Posts 37,338Thanked 735Quoted 1Mentioned 44Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
good lion  |
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#6
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01-31-2025, 02:37 PM
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 The Devil's Left Hand Poster Rank:70 Male Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 22,203 22,203Posts 43,101Thanked 9,551Quoted 21Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
He forgot to cast the magical spell Pspsps to calm the lion.
__________________ Why so sad? Your tears are no match for mine. |
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#7
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01-31-2025, 06:43 PM
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| ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:92 Male Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 17,243 17,243Posts 45,056Thanked 4,712Quoted 8Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
The Lion only attacked him after he had first dis-armed him. Seems fine to me!  |
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#8
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01-31-2025, 08:40 PM
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 My Rank: LANCE CORPORAL Poster Rank:1891 Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 272 272Posts 175Thanked 184Quoted 0Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
Fuck around and find out.
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#9
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02-01-2025, 05:34 AM
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 ✝Mudderator from Hell✝ Poster Rank:10 e-mail Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 96,907
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
that's how to sober up instantly  |
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#10
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02-01-2025, 10:03 PM
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 ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:268 ꓕSIꓤIꓕ∀S ϽINOᗡꓤ∀S Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 5,192
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5,192Posts 31,237Thanked 1,446Quoted 45Mentioned 8Contrib. |
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Re: Drunk Security Guard Tried to Pet a Lion in Enclosure; Lost An Arm
No video, but found the audio transcript: "Heeeere kitty-katty-kitty... aaaaaahhhhHHHH!!!"
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