[ironmike]

Originally Posted by pokerplay ↗

Lot of bears downtown in my neck of the woods. They see twinks or sometimes twunks (if the twink's been working out), then they attack. Usually play some ABBA or George Michael, then when the twink is thoroughly swept off his knees, the bear throws in the hard stuff...that's right....frankie goes to hollywood. After that its just bear on twink action. Sometimes its gets rough, dramatized in the film Revenant with leonardo dicaprio. Sometimes it gets real sweet though, like in The Edge with Alec Baldwin. Deleted scenes show Alec and the Bear hanging out on set, sharing stories of bear whores, and sniffing up bear cocaine together. They say you can't turn your back on a bear, but you can. Just make sure you have a bit of lube.

Give me an hour. I'll drop acid and we can continue this dialog.

[Necrotic Bowel]

Originally Posted by pokerplay ↗

Lot of bears downtown in my neck of the woods. They see twinks or sometimes twunks (if the twink's been working out), then they attack. Usually play some ABBA or George Michael, then when the twink is thoroughly swept off his knees, the bear throws in the hard stuff...that's right....frankie goes to hollywood. After that its just bear on twink action. Sometimes its gets rough, dramatized in the film Revenant with leonardo dicaprio. Sometimes it gets real sweet though, like in The Edge with Alec Baldwin. Deleted scenes show Alec and the Bear hanging out on set, sharing stories of bear whores, and sniffing up bear cocaine together. They say you can't turn your back on a bear, but you can. Just make sure you have a bit of lube.

[Major_Tom]

Who'd have thought that bear would erupt into such a wild blood rage, the humans have given him two old car tyres to play with in that cramped, muddy courtyard.

[houseoftechno]

Originally Posted by hubsdrunk ↗

Bear Rule #1: Don't run towards the bear.

Bear Rule #2: Playing dead will result in death.

Umm. Never heard of those "bear rules."

#1 is just common sense, but I see you are saying the zookeeper screwed up by trying to run past the bear. I agree.

Playing dead is recommended as a last resort defense in case a bear is actively attacking you, and you have no weapons. The idea is if the bear thinks you are dead, and it does not want to eat you yet, it may become bored and wander off.

[houseoftechno]

A bear is one of the last animals that I would want to tangle with. Especially is there is nobody else around for me to try to out run. That's why it is a good idea to take a child with you if you are out hiking the backcountry.

[ironmike]

Two guys in the woods encounter a bear. The bear looks like he's gonna charge. Guy #1 - "I hope we can out run the bear". Guy #2 "I don't need to be faster than the bear. I just need to be faster than you".

[docfr8]

must have been a long and terrible way to die... That thing will eat your ass alive and be entertained by your cries and whimpers...

Originally Posted by houseoftechno ↗

A bear is one of the last animals that I would want to tangle with. Especially is there is nobody else around for me to try to out run. That's why it is a good idea to take a child with you if you are out hiking the backcountry.

[DavidAaronGarcia]

I guess that bear was having his bear accessories bon appetit

[William May]

Originally Posted by houseoftechno ↗

A bear is one of the last animals that I would want to tangle with. Especially is there is nobody else around for me to try to out run. That's why it is a good idea to take a child with you if you are out hiking the backcountry.

Ummmm, preferably someone ELSE'S kid.

[bliss]

Originally Posted by houseoftechno ↗

A bear is one of the last animals that I would want to tangle with. Especially is there is nobody else around for me to try to out run. That's why it is a good idea to take a child with you if you are out hiking the backcountry.

this is sound life advice.