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#1
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01-10-2023, 04:46 PM
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Zookeeper Forgets to Close Gate, Gets Mauled by Bear
Andijan, Uzbekistan. Sorry for shitty quality. A zookeeper employee, identified only as A.G., entered the enclosure at the zoo to feed a brown bear, when he neglected to close the gate separating him from the bear. When the zookeeper noticed that the bear was right behind him, he quickly tried to scurry out the exit, but the bear pounced on him. The bear then dragged the man's body towards the centre of the enclosure. Other zookeepers attempted to pelt the bear with wooden planks and stones, before two entered the pit and fended the bear off with long poles. By then, however, the zookeeper was dead. |
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#2
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01-10-2023, 04:59 PM
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| My Rank: PRIVATE FIRST CLASS Poster Rank:4061 Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 77 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Quoted: 28 Post(s)
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Re: Zookeeper Forgets to Close Gate, Gets Mauled by Bear
Bear Rule #1: Don't run towards the bear. Bear Rule #2: Playing dead will result in death. |
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#3
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01-10-2023, 05:01 PM
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| My Rank: LANCE CORPORAL Poster Rank:2622 Join Date: Jul 2017 Posts: 161 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Quoted: 34 Post(s)
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Re: Zookeeper Forgets to Close Gate, Gets Mauled by Bear
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#4
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01-10-2023, 05:06 PM
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| So Fucking Banned Poster Rank:196 Join Date: Oct 2022 Posts: 7,690 Mentioned: 25 Post(s) Quoted: 4700 Post(s)
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Re: Zookeeper Forgets to Close Gate, Gets Mauled by Bear
Time to hire a new intern!
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#5
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01-10-2023, 05:24 PM
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Re: Zookeeper Forgets to Close Gate, Gets Mauled by Bear
Someone has to Bear responsibility for leaving that gate open
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#6
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01-10-2023, 05:55 PM
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| My Rank: SERGEANT MAJOR Poster Rank:300 Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which is why several of us died of tuberculosis Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 4,227 Mentioned: 1 Post(s) Quoted: 1424 Post(s)
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Re: Zookeeper Forgets to Close Gate, Gets Mauled by Bear
Lot of bears downtown in my neck of the woods. They see twinks or sometimes twunks (if the twink's been working out), then they attack. Usually play some ABBA or George Michael, then when the twink is thoroughly swept off his knees, the bear throws in the hard stuff...that's right....frankie goes to hollywood. After that its just bear on twink action. Sometimes its gets rough, dramatized in the film Revenant with leonardo dicaprio. Sometimes it gets real sweet though, like in The Edge with Alec Baldwin. Deleted scenes show Alec and the Bear hanging out on set, sharing stories of bear whores, and sniffing up bear cocaine together. They say you can't turn your back on a bear, but you can. Just make sure you have a bit of lube.
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#7
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01-10-2023, 06:21 PM
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| My Rank: SERGEANT Poster Rank:977 Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 724 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Quoted: 317 Post(s)
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Re: Zookeeper Forgets to Close Gate, Gets Mauled by Bear
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#9
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01-10-2023, 06:38 PM
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Re: Zookeeper Forgets to Close Gate, Gets Mauled by Bear
You feeling ok old chap? |
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#10
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01-10-2023, 06:52 PM
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| My Rank: STAFF SERGEANT Poster Rank:836 Join Date: Jun 2017 Posts: 919 Mentioned: 1 Post(s) Quoted: 289 Post(s)
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Re: Zookeeper Forgets to Close Gate, Gets Mauled by Bear
Guy goes bear hunting. Sees a bear, takes shot with his rifle and misses. Bear chases him down, pulls off the hunter’s pants and fucks him in the ass. Enraged, the hunter comes back again with a machine gun, runs into the same bear, shoots and misses. Bear chases him down and fucks him in the ass. Now the hunter is really pissed. Comes back again with a bazooka. Sees the same bear, shoots and misses. Bear chases him down, flips him over, pulls down the hunter’s pants and whispers in his ear “something tells me you don’t come here for the hunting”. |