[AbraCadaver]

In "sane" moments we know we're crazy.. But looking like this is much more appealing to me than looking like what I do now.
And When I eat 500 kcals a day, ad don't purge, I feel like complete and utter shit. My whole day depends of wether or not I've lost weight. If I've lost weight, my day is great, if I've gained, or the weight hasn't changed, I*m super depressed, and don't leave the house, cause I feel fat.

I get on the scale, I get of the scale, I get on the scale, I get of the scale, several times a day, to see how much I gain after a meal, and how much I lose after purging. And all to look like this.

The question I get all the time is "why?"

The truth is.. I hate myself and I'll do anything to become someone else - even if it takes dying to get there, so be it. Atleast I'll get there.

[Msnr. Sonny Sinner]

Abra i didnt know you were anorexic. But your last sentence probably makes alot of sense. I hate to say thank you for your insight again, but i wish you werent speaking first hand. Question though - is that also a reason for BM? I'd give you the whole we all care, you shouldn't do that bullshit, but im sure you have heard it and it wont make a bit a difference from me, but you seem like a good person, blah blah blah. Anyway, i dont think dying will make you anything but a dead you. Unless you believe in reincarnation, but i personally think thats a little far fetched to rely on

[AbraCadaver]

I've got the diagnosis Atypical Bulimia, because I'm too fat to be called an anorectic.

My body modifications are a different chapter though - I do it to change, but it's not done in a state of hate.

[Msnr. Sonny Sinner]

i guess i can just never understand obsession with looks. It just never really concerned me. i wish i could gain wait, but more to be healthy. I dont think you are fat though. But again im sure you have heard that a million times. Dont take this the wrong way, but if you are trying to escape yourself, wouldnt it be easier to make yourself fat beyond recognition?

[justlookingaO]

I didn't know either, I wouldn't have posted these pictures. Please read my PM

[Msnr. Sonny Sinner]

dont think you need to feel bad about posting it. Im glad you did because i learned something (again) from abra. Dont die abra, i need your infinite wisdom on odd subject matter.

[AbraCadaver]

I can be your body mod and eating disorder mentor!

And these pictures are all over the net, so it doesn't bother me the slightest.
I even have people I went to school with mailing me these kinds of pics to be assholes, so I really couldn't care less about them.

And I guess the reason I don't wanna get fat is also that I somehow want to disappear. Complex shit, I don't always understand it myself.

[Msnr. Sonny Sinner]

[Sharon]

That is fucking sick photographing them like models

Body image causes such appalling problems in women and men

[Shellybell]

Originally Posted by AbraCadaver ↗

In "sane" moments we know we're crazy.. But looking like this is much more appealing to me than looking like what I do now.
And When I eat 500 kcals a day, ad don't purge, I feel like complete and utter shit. My whole day depends of wether or not I've lost weight. If I've lost weight, my day is great, if I've gained, or the weight hasn't changed, I*m super depressed, and don't leave the house, cause I feel fat.

I get on the scale, I get of the scale, I get on the scale, I get of the scale, several times a day, to see how much I gain after a meal, and how much I lose after purging. And all to look like this.

The question I get all the time is "why?"

The truth is.. I hate myself and I'll do anything to become someone else - even if it takes dying to get there, so be it. Atleast I'll get there.

That's so sad. I hope your getting yourself help. No one should feel that way. Good luck to you and again, I really hope you seek help for this disorder.