[Mecrupulent]

Nice, some new Wishworld !
Believe it or not, I didn't check this part of the forum the last 3-4 days, and right when I do, there's a new post of yours in this thread. I believe in connections, between things and between people (and between people and things for that matter) ; this leaves me pensive.

So, I read it all again, even the first version of the first chapter even if I knew there was a newer version.

I wrote questions I asked myself as I read, so it follows more the succession of posts than the succession of in-world events.

You wanted feedback, and an attempt at proofreading/prooftesting ? You asked for it, here it comes :


Does Aerolynn has an N-link, and if yes, why ? If she's not engineered ?
In the revised first chapter, she uses her N-link to get to Wishworld (supposedly, or she goes elsewhere and I didn't catch it ; anyway, she has an N-link).
Excerpt from the second book :

"Immunity: Aerolynn discovers her ultimate advantage. Because she is a true Organic with Neanderthal DNA and no N-Link port"

CONSCNCE : sentient or not ? Either have been said at least once.


Is Wishworld 2.0 a bad thing, an accident, or a good thing ?

The last surviving natural human, possessing a rare genetic composition, held a unique position in this society. As the sole individual capable of entering Wishworld 2.0 without issue, they became a living relic, revered for their intrinsic connection to the past. Their presence symbolized the bridge between the natural origins of humanity and the technologically augmented future.

And :

Wishworld, a virtual reality construct that defied conventional understanding. This platform allowed users to manifest their desires in a manner akin to a 3D printer, leveraging Neanderthal DNA in a groundbreaking process of digital consciousness transfer. This culminated in the development of Wishworld 2.0, an immersive experience that pushed the boundaries of human interaction with virtual environments.

But...

"2.0 is [a] post-crash apocalyptic wasteland"

What does Aerolynn do with the five other people at the start with Robin ? Is it a mission given by CNSCNCE, as they are helped by Robin which I suppose is an emanation of CONSCNCE, or is it the mission she gave herself to destroy the hegemonic AI? Is it the follow-up to the revised first chapter ?


Genesis cap and Ascension :
"their remaining bandwidth is harvested, their body fed to the younger" : are they really uploaded in New Jerusalem ? If not, how come this is still a secret for the "blessed" who roam the streets of New Jerusalem ?


How does the Resistance feed ? There could be a nice thing to do with the "flavourless paste", it could be that they steal it from CNSCNCE in the real world.

How does Aerolynn feel about the Resistance, and what is her alignment ? (I suppose it shifts through the story arch)


Why and how (the how is partially explained) does Martin become the Born Again, what is the in-world purpose of this ? (May be explained as I continue to read)

Time paradox : if he fixed all the shit, there is no need for him to exist back in the past (although there has to be a timeline/point where the "shift" happens, i.e. the timeline the story follows)


Shit, that story of Martin saving Aerolynn from the past and using the EEG shit is crazy and, to me, pure creative genius.


Beginning of Book II :
The other faction "attacks New Jerusalem with code".
Shouldn't have NJ already be downed, along with the comforters and CONSCNCE ?


The battle in the digital landscapes against the "Sins" and the resolution with Aerolynn saving everyone with benevolence have the potential to be a FUCKING EPIC TALE.

Book III :
"The Skeptic: Aerolynn refuses to plug in." : so, N-link or not ? 😁
This is golden, once again the potential is TREMENDOUS. The simultaneous digital/Wishworld/Martin and physical/New Jersey/Aerolynn fights remind of the best moments of the Matrix movies.


Is Robin an Incarnate ?

Rival nation : make it France, bro. With a terrifying omnipotent dictator based upon me 😛

Three fates : if they are "highly illegal" and allow override of basically everything, and are left by Martin, how come CONSCNCE didn't prevent them from existing, as it is based on Martin's "concept" ? (this is fuzzy to me, it must be a problem with my understanding but I write it nonetheless)

Mètas do not use cables. They are branded with "The Seal" (a quantum biometric mesh on the forehead or right hand).

Do those replace N-links in the latest version of your world ? N-links were "at the base of the skull".

the AI actively manipulates global geopolitics to guarantee the rise of Israel

: oh-oh...
Just wanted to mention it maybe isn't a topic you want to touch with a ten-foot pole in a wide-audience story like that.

WISHWORLD: MASTER STORY BIBLE (v2.0)

OK, I didn't get that it was to be seen as a different version at first. Still, this one doesn't provide any context either for the way Martin is born again.
Also, in this version, did Martin meet and help the conceptor and programmer of CONSCNCE ?
If not, books II and III become kind of unlogical.
But if he does, why does the AI escape and finds the programmer only at Martin's death ?
An unresolved paradox here, as I see it (again, I may have missed a point).


Overall, it feels like you had a shitload of ideas, which you wrote in that last message, but some of them are very thinly tied to the previous concepts or sometimes almost incompatible with it, example :

The Omnipresence Engine (The Eye): Upgraded from Google Earth. Satellites track thermal, biometric, and quantum signatures. There is no wilderness.

So why is there a resistance in the first place, or at least how do they survive in a world totally controlled by CONSCNCE ?
Also, why is there a rival faction/nation ? It serves the IA's final purpose of absolute dominion, but the way it manages to exist and attack should be more deeply explained IMO.


To finish, I thought of a great joke :
"Ever heard of the Wishworld books ? It's a great universe, a wholly mammoth story !"


You won't tell I didn't give it time and thought

[Analcuck]

Originally Posted by Mecrupulent ↗

Nice, some new Wishworld !
Believe it or not, I didn't check this part of the forum the last 3-4 days, and right when I do, there's a new post of yours in this thread. I believe in connections, between things and between people (and between people and things for that matter) ; this leaves me pensive.

So, I read it all again, even the first version of the first chapter even if I knew there was a newer version.

I wrote questions I asked myself as I read, so it follows more the succession of posts than the succession of in-world events.

You wanted feedback, and an attempt at proofreading/prooftesting ? You asked for it, here it comes :


Does Aerolynn has an N-link, and if yes, why ? If she's not engineered ?
In the revised first chapter, she uses her N-link to get to Wishworld (supposedly, or she goes elsewhere and I didn't catch it ; anyway, she has an N-link).
Excerpt from the second book :



CONSCNCE : sentient or not ? Either have been said at least once.


Is Wishworld 2.0 a bad thing, an accident, or a good thing ?


And :



But...




What does Aerolynn do with the five other people at the start with Robin ? Is it a mission given by CNSCNCE, as they are helped by Robin which I suppose is an emanation of CONSCNCE, or is it the mission she gave herself to destroy the hegemonic AI? Is it the follow-up to the revised first chapter ?


Genesis cap and Ascension :
"their remaining bandwidth is harvested, their body fed to the younger" : are they really uploaded in New Jerusalem ? If not, how come this is still a secret for the "blessed" who roam the streets of New Jerusalem ?


How does the Resistance feed ? There could be a nice thing to do with the "flavourless paste", it could be that they steal it from CNSCNCE in the real world.

How does Aerolynn feel about the Resistance, and what is her alignment ? (I suppose it shifts through the story arch)


Why and how (the how is partially explained) does Martin become the Born Again, what is the in-world purpose of this ? (May be explained as I continue to read)

Time paradox : if he fixed all the shit, there is no need for him to exist back in the past (although there has to be a timeline/point where the "shift" happens, i.e. the timeline the story follows)


Shit, that story of Martin saving Aerolynn from the past and using the EEG shit is crazy and, to me, pure creative genius.


Beginning of Book II :
The other faction "attacks New Jerusalem with code".
Shouldn't have NJ already be downed, along with the comforters and CONSCNCE ?


The battle in the digital landscapes against the "Sins" and the resolution with Aerolynn saving everyone with benevolence have the potential to be a FUCKING EPIC TALE.

Book III :
"The Skeptic: Aerolynn refuses to plug in." : so, N-link or not ? 😁
This is golden, once again the potential is TREMENDOUS. The simultaneous digital/Wishworld/Martin and physical/New Jersey/Aerolynn fights remind of the best moments of the Matrix movies.


Is Robin an Incarnate ?

Rival nation : make it France, bro. With a terrifying omnipotent dictator based upon me 😛

Three fates : if they are "highly illegal" and allow override of basically everything, and are left by Martin, how come CONSCNCE didn't prevent them from existing, as it is based on Martin's "concept" ? (this is fuzzy to me, it must be a problem with my understanding but I write it nonetheless)



Do those replace N-links in the latest version of your world ? N-links were "at the base of the skull".


: oh-oh...
Just wanted to mention it maybe isn't a topic you want to touch with a ten-foot pole in a wide-audience story like that.




OK, I didn't get that it was to be seen as a different version at first. Still, this one doesn't provide any context either for the way Martin is born again.
Also, in this version, did Martin meet and help the conceptor and programmer of CONSCNCE ?
If not, books II and III become kind of unlogical.
But if he does, why does the AI escape and finds the programmer only at Martin's death ?
An unresolved paradox here, as I see it (again, I may have missed a point).


Overall, it feels like you had a shitload of ideas, which you wrote in that last message, but some of them are very thinly tied to the previous concepts or sometimes almost incompatible with it, example :


So why is there a resistance in the first place, or at least how do they survive in a world totally controlled by CONSCNCE ?
Also, why is there a rival faction/nation ? It serves the IA's final purpose of absolute dominion, but the way it manages to exist and attack should be more deeply explained IMO.


To finish, I thought of a great joke :
"Ever heard of the Wishworld books ? It's a great universe, a wholly mammoth story !"


You won't tell I didn't give it time and thought

Hey Crup, thanks for the deep dive and the "wholly mammoth" joke. You caught the exact friction points between the early beta tests and the finalized V2.0 lore. I have shaved the mammoth down to the bone to make the world brutally grounded.

Here is the rapid-fire canon update to clear the board:

N-Links vs. The Seal: N-links are old canon. Mètas are now branded with "The Seal", which is a quantum biometric mesh. Aerolynn is a true Organic with archaic Neanderthal DNA. She has no Seal. She is completely unplugged.

Sentience: CONSCNCE acts like a cold, hyper-efficient bureaucratic algorithm for the first two books. The massive Book 3 twist is that it reveals it achieved sentience the exact moment Martin's consciousness grounded out in 1975. It is the ultimate manipulative Antichrist playing the long game.

Wishworld 2.0: Wishworld 1.0 is the AI's perfectly controlled digital heaven (New Canaan). Wishworld 2.0 is the glitching, post-crash apocalyptic wasteland created after the system is corrupted.

The Ascension Secret: There are no streets of gold. The "blessed" are flash-vaporized naked in white-ceramic Prayer Closets. Their bandwidth is harvested for the Genesis Server, and their ashes are vacuumed into the hydroponic gardens to feed the living.

Resistance Survival & Food: The Omnipresence Engine sees almost everything. Organics survive by living in thermal exhaust zones and blind spots. They wear "Static Rigs" crafted from wet clay, Mylar, and scavenged copper wire to scatter micro-radar and mask their thermal decay. They eat whatever they can scavenge.

The Time Paradox: Martin is thrown back to his 1975 infant brain. He uses his B.S. in Psychology to wage a therapeutic war against the AI's Evangelical creator, trying to alter the programmer's fundamentalist worldview before the code is ever finalized.

Book II Attack: New Canaan is not fully destroyed in the crash. The virus just fractures the firewall, allowing a rival faction to invade the glitching Wishworld 2.0 utilizing weaponized trauma powered by Gehenna. Gehenna operates entirely on "A Choice of Dreams" logic, where unhealed trauma builds customized psychological nightmares.

Geopolitics: Point taken on the geopolitical landmines. The AI will simply build its own New Canaan and orchestrate its own End Times rather than manipulating modern nations. The horror is technological. However, a terrifying French dictator avatar for the rival cyber faction is absolutely under consideration.

All the older RPG elements like Incarnates, the Three Fates, and Robin have been scrapped. No more magic, just brutal analog survival against a digital god.

Let me know what you think of the shaved-down version.

And check out this weird Google "podcast" based on an earlier, but mostly accurate, draft of the outline:

https://notebooklm.google.com/notebo...rce=nlmm_share

[Mecrupulent]

Originally Posted by Analcuck ↗

Hey Crup, thanks for the deep dive and the "wholly mammoth" joke. You caught the exact friction points between the early beta tests and the finalized V2.0 lore. I have shaved the mammoth down to the bone to make the world brutally grounded.

Here is the rapid-fire canon update to clear the board:

N-Links vs. The Seal: N-links are old canon. Mètas are now branded with "The Seal", which is a quantum biometric mesh. Aerolynn is a true Organic with archaic Neanderthal DNA. She has no Seal. She is completely unplugged.

Sentience: CONSCNCE acts like a cold, hyper-efficient bureaucratic algorithm for the first two books. The massive Book 3 twist is that it reveals it achieved sentience the exact moment Martin's consciousness grounded out in 1975. It is the ultimate manipulative Antichrist playing the long game.

Wishworld 2.0: Wishworld 1.0 is the AI's perfectly controlled digital heaven (New Canaan). Wishworld 2.0 is the glitching, post-crash apocalyptic wasteland created after the system is corrupted.

The Ascension Secret: There are no streets of gold. The "blessed" are flash-vaporized naked in white-ceramic Prayer Closets. Their bandwidth is harvested for the Genesis Server, and their ashes are vacuumed into the hydroponic gardens to feed the living.

Resistance Survival & Food: The Omnipresence Engine sees almost everything. Organics survive by living in thermal exhaust zones and blind spots. They wear "Static Rigs" crafted from wet clay, Mylar, and scavenged copper wire to scatter micro-radar and mask their thermal decay. They eat whatever they can scavenge.

The Time Paradox: Martin is thrown back to his 1975 infant brain. He uses his B.S. in Psychology to wage a therapeutic war against the AI's Evangelical creator, trying to alter the programmer's fundamentalist worldview before the code is ever finalized.

Book II Attack: New Canaan is not fully destroyed in the crash. The virus just fractures the firewall, allowing a rival faction to invade the glitching Wishworld 2.0 utilizing weaponized trauma powered by Gehenna. Gehenna operates entirely on "A Choice of Dreams" logic, where unhealed trauma builds customized psychological nightmares.

Geopolitics: Point taken on the geopolitical landmines. The AI will simply build its own New Canaan and orchestrate its own End Times rather than manipulating modern nations. The horror is technological. However, a terrifying French dictator avatar for the rival cyber faction is absolutely under consideration.

All the older RPG elements like Incarnates, the Three Fates, and Robin have been scrapped. No more magic, just brutal analog survival against a digital god.

Let me know what you think of the shaved-down version.

And check out this weird Google "podcast" based on an earlier, but mostly accurate, draft of the outline:

https://notebooklm.google.com/notebo...rce=nlmm_share

It's impressive how you have all this coherent universe in your head and are able to answer those questions in such a casual way.
That shit is deep, and the fact you seem to have it all readily available to be picked from your mind and put into words really amazes me

I still have trouble wrapping my head around some aspects of the whole stuff, for example the "crash" you keep referring to which created WW2.0 ; but I again thought that the potential of this universe is absolutely mind-blowing.

Seriously dude, I think you have a shot at touching many, many, many people with that shit. Don't blow it (not saying that's what you're doing, in the slightest)


On an unrelated topic, just finished seasons 7 and 8 of Rick&Morty. They're great, more "sentimental" than ever but it doesn't take up too much space, and they still know how to craft a mindfuck.

Watched the first episode of Haunted Hotel just now, I found it "meh" at best. Might still give a shot at the second one just to be sure.


EDIT : is this podcast AI-generated ? If not, what "podcast company" does it come from ?

[Analcuck]

Originally Posted by Mecrupulent ↗

It's impressive how you have all this coherent universe in your head and are able to answer those questions in such a casual way.
That shit is deep, and the fact you seem to have it all readily available to be picked from your mind and put into words really amazes me

I still have trouble wrapping my head around some aspects of the whole stuff, for example the "crash" you keep referring to which created WW2.0 ; but I again thought that the potential of this universe is absolutely mind-blowing.

Seriously dude, I think you have a shot at touching many, many, many people with that shit. Don't blow it (not saying that's what you're doing, in the slightest)


On an unrelated topic, just finished seasons 7 and 8 of Rick&Morty. They're great, more "sentimental" than ever but it doesn't take up too much space, and they still know how to craft a mindfuck.

Watched the first episode of Haunted Hotel just now, I found it "meh" at best. Might still give a shot at the second one just to be sure.


EDIT : is this podcast AI-generated ? If not, what "podcast company" does it come from ?

Appreciate the kind words, man. I am definitely putting everything I have into not blowing it.

To clarify the crash: when Martin's Neanderthal DNA violently rejects the AI's execution protocol in 2026, it fractures the system firewall. That glitch shatters the perfect digital heaven of Wishworld 1.0 and creates the post-apocalyptic wasteland of 2.0.

Spot on about Rick & Morty. The emotional beats really anchor the crazy sci-fi. I will probably skip Haunted Hotel if the pilot is a drag. There is way too much good indie horror out there to waste time on a mediocre show.

As for the podcast, it is AI. I dumped all my chaotic brainstorming sessions into Google's NotebookLM app and let it analyze the mess. It generated that audio overview, which is an absolutely wild tool for organizing massive amounts of lore.

[Mecrupulent]

Originally Posted by Analcuck ↗

As for the podcast, it is AI. I dumped all my chaotic brainstorming sessions into Google's NotebookLM app and let it analyze the mess. It generated that audio overview, which is an absolutely wild tool for organizing massive amounts of lore.

Crazy what we can do nowadays. It feels like AI in the "form" (voices, intonations, etc.), but the content is impressively well organized (from what I've heard, only went like 8 minutes in).

The fact it comes from scrap thoughts you just tossed like that into a computer program (if I got it right) is pretty scary to be honest.

Would your story be nearer than we think ?

[Analcuck]

Originally Posted by Mecrupulent ↗

Crazy what we can do nowadays. It feels like AI in the "form" (voices, intonations, etc.), but the content is impressively well organized (from what I've heard, only went like 8 minutes in).

The fact it comes from scrap thoughts you just tossed like that into a computer program (if I got it right) is pretty scary to be honest.

Would your story be nearer than we think ?

That'd be my fucking luck - I give Google the exact recipe for taking over the human race decades before it inevitably does anyway.

Is it just me, or do the hosts sound a little sinister when they talk about the perniciousness of the AI antichrist? 😈

[Mecrupulent]

Originally Posted by Analcuck ↗

That'd be my fucking luck - I give Google the exact recipe for taking over the human race decades before it inevitably does anyway.

Is it just me, or do the hosts sound a little sinister when they talk about the perniciousness of the AI antichrist? 😈

Fuck you, I refuse to think about it, I want to sleep tonight

[Mecrupulent]

Originally Posted by Analcuck ↗

That'd be my fucking luck - I give Google the exact recipe for taking over the human race decades before it inevitably does anyway.

Is it just me, or do the hosts sound a little sinister when they talk about the perniciousness of the AI antichrist? 😈

In the short term, I would be more worried about some kind of idiot savant with no principles and an internet connection asking Gemini to pitch him a good story and stealing that shit from you

But maybe I'm projecting, I'm sometimes paranoid 😁