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January 10, 2012 Prerov, CZ – An unidentified Czech thief was apprehended by store security after setting off the exit alarms. Security was reportedly able to make him produce a stolen pair of headphones ‘from his underwear,’ but the headphones did not have an embedded security device on them. They knew there was something more… When police arrived, they searched the subject and found tube of lubricant called Indulona that had been stolen from the store and opened. According to reports, this caused the police to suspect that the MP4 player had been lubricated and then shoved in the suspect’s rectum. “[On questioning,] the man admitted that the device was actually hidden inside his body,” deputy city police director Miroslav Snoot was reported as saying. While security personnel and police waited, the suspect tried to produce the player, but – being lubricated – the player wasn’t so easy to grab. I am not sure what “encouragement” was offered by the onlookers, but it must have been persuasive. According to Snoot’s translated statement, “The suspect was initially unable to remove the contraband from his body. But after many ‘tens of minutes’ using various objects – including scissors – the suspect was able to produce the stolen device and hand it over to police.” “Book that into evidence.” “Noooo… you book that into evidence.” According to reports, the police described the man as having a long criminal record. They further noted that his skills – or lack thereof – of ‘shoplifting by fanny pack’ were learned on the inside. Way inside, as it were… |
The Following User Says Thank You to DiamondSmiles For This Useful Post: | ||
Nutbutter |
The Following Users Say Fuck Off To This Post By DiamondSmiles: | ||
icheerthebull |
#2
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Somehow I don't feel disappointed at the lack of photos.
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The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to johnleeknoefler For This Useful Post: | ||
DiamondSmiles, JoshuaR, Nutbutter, Pogrom, Sweeney |
#3
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Scissors . . |
The Following User Says Thank You to SFPsychoDane For This Useful Post: | ||
Pogrom |
#4
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#5
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Say it ain't so NOOOOOZ. |
#6
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Quote:
I've seen a picture of the guy, but, I don't know how to post them. If you search his name, you may find him. I did not, however, find him removing any items or showing the police the fanny pack insertion. |
The Following Users Say Fuck Off To This Post By DiamondSmiles: | ||
grimekeepa |
#7
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#8
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Right click and the www is yours to pirate for the needs you are looking for! this is human suitcase |
#9
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jeeeez diamond...u finally learned to copy and paste and still dont know how to post photos?? and i thought i was a computer retard. u make me seem like bill gates. no wonder u have the generic, standard avatar.. |
#10
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