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Don't Touch That Cucumber!

Don't Touch That Cucumber!

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  #1  
● 12-12-2011, 08:53 AM
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Don't Touch That Cucumber!

Islamic cleric bans women from touching 'penis-shaped' foods in case it arouses them
By DAILY MAIL REPORTER


An Islamic cleric living in Europe has said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any 'sexual thoughts'.

The unnamed sheikh was quoted by el-Sawsana news saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male relative, should cut the items into small pieces and serve.

The cleric said that these fruits and vegetables 'resemble the male penis' and could arouse women or 'make them think of sex,' in a story reported on Egyptian news website Bikya Masr.


No touching: Women should avoid contact with cucumbers, says an Islamic cleric

He also added carrots and courgette to the list of forbidden foods for women.

The sheikh was asked how to 'control' women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them.


The carrot should also join the forbidden list of foods for women to touch

The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God.

Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.

The opinion has stirred a storm of anger among Muslims online, with hundreds mocking the cleric.

One reader said that these religious 'leaders' give Islam 'a bad name' and another saying he should quit his post immediately.

Another dismissed the sheikh as merely a publicity seeker.

No official responses from Islamic scholars have been made on the statements as yet.

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  #2  
● 12-12-2011, 09:18 AM
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Re: Don't Touch That Cucumber!

LMFAO
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  #3  
● 12-12-2011, 09:22 AM
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Re: Don't Touch That Cucumber!

I love this part:
Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it.
I mean really? I know while making dinner, I go to reach for a carrot and we just like connect. It is all I can do to keep myself from making sweet, sweet love to it. Please honey, cut my penis shaped food so I do not become a dirty whore.
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● 12-12-2011, 09:37 AM
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Re: Don't Touch That Cucumber!

I love this part:


I mean really? I know while making dinner, I go to reach for a carrot and we just like connect. It is all I can do to keep myself from making sweet, sweet love to it. Please honey, cut my penis shaped food so I do not become a dirty whore.
But...what if someone was into cut penises?
  #5  
● 12-12-2011, 09:49 AM
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Re: Don't Touch That Cucumber!

But...what if someone was into cut penises?
Im sure this can be added to the agreement. The women must be blindfolded while eating such items and wear a tongue sensation suppressor to dull the sensation of the food on their tongue.
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● 12-12-2011, 09:58 AM
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Re: Don't Touch That Cucumber!

I really want a carrot now.
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● 12-12-2011, 10:05 AM
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Re: Don't Touch That Cucumber!

pervert
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● 12-12-2011, 10:11 AM
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Re: Don't Touch That Cucumber!

FINE. I'll bring you one, too.
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● 12-12-2011, 10:11 AM
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Re: Don't Touch That Cucumber!

I really want a carrot now.
Ha!
  #10  
● 12-12-2011, 10:13 AM
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Re: Don't Touch That Cucumber!

You, however, can have the cucumber.


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