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#11
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08-30-2021, 12:27 PM
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 My Rank: SERGEANT Poster Rank:1194 Erase the Sixth Commandment Join Date: May 2015 Posts: 527 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Quoted: 204 Post(s)
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Re: “Is This Gonna Be on the Test?”
I work for the Department of Immigration in Australia… Not going to lie to you, it’s a crappy desk job with a shit salary.  But you don’t do it for the money. You do it to see the smile and jubilation on the faces of your colleagues when you’ve just cancelled someone’s humanitarian visa. It’s high fives in the office all round!  We invented a game that I hope really catches on in the Commonwealth public sector. It’s called ‘Asylum Seeker Cricket.’ It’s similar to the sport of regular cricket, although there’s minimal exercise involved and the rules to play have slight variables... For example, it’s two runs if you can make a refugee cry. Four runs if an asylum seeker tries to sway your final judgment, by opening up their wallet to showcase you photos of their seventeen tuberculosis prone children. And it’s six runs if you can get a hijab cloaked alien to grovel and beg at your feet, while trying to bribe you with slices of their homemade Lebanese baklava. This spectacle often ends with customs officials hauling their ass into a detention centre, so keeping a mop and bucket handy to wash away the tears has become standard operating procedure.  We even run a tally on our white board. The person with the most deportations at the end of each month, wins a complimentary family meat hamper to the value of $250.00 Australian dollars. It really does drive home the incentive. Crushing dreams of asylum with administrative red tape always brings out the bubbly. The satisfaction of sending Momodo back to Sierra Leone to get his hands amputated in the diamond trade is a joy to savour!  Sometimes we cancel visas for the most trivial of reasons as well… ‘Mr Rishaan Abayakoon, it appears you have misspelled your own hard to pronounce Sri Lankan surname.’ (Supplying falsified evidence and lying on your declaration) That’s a BREACH. I know every morning I go to work, I am doing my white collar duty to defend Western values and freedoms, one bureaucratic rubber stamp at a time.   · |
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#13
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08-31-2021, 01:58 AM
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 My Rank: STAFF SERGEANT Poster Rank:713 Male Join Date: Oct 2020 Posts: 1,164 Mentioned: 14 Post(s) Quoted: 527 Post(s)
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Re: “Is This Gonna Be on the Test?”
If this is all true You are my fuck’n hero bro |
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#18
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10-22-2021, 11:01 PM
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| My Rank: LANCE CORPORAL Poster Rank:2537 Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 170 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Quoted: 15 Post(s)
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Re: “Is This Gonna Be on the Test?”
Teacher was a lost cause. Kids were thugs. Deserved to be served with adult fists and knocked the fuck out.
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