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#14
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05-08-2025, 11:14 AM
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Re: POLAND | University Employee Beheaded on Campus
Fucker was like a crazed Hermey in Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, he wanted to be a dentist instead of a lawyer. Look at the chopping he did on her jaw. Rudolf review: "I was happy to take a stroll down Gen X memory lane and introduce my 4-year-old daughter to the 1964 TV special “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” This hourlong stop-motion story is so ingrained in my generation’s culture that its status as a “holiday classic” is no longer in dispute. My man Pedro tabbed it No. 3 on his “20 best Christmas shows ever” blog post. But when you have a very sensitive kid who already has a phobia about doctors and dentists, you find yourself telling lie after lie just to get through the damn thing. As a health writer, I zeroed in on the aspects of the show that vaguely relate to psychology or medicine. But I was willing to overlook the awful treatment of Rudolph by nearly everyone around him — Dad, the reindeer-games coach, and particularly Clarice’s despicable father. I even let slide Santa’s clearly passive-aggressive behavior. I allow for a certain lost-in-translation effect, based on the fact that it’s the ’60s. But who among the writers of the Rankin-Bass production crew (which made many of these stop-motion shorts, including the incredibly bleak “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”) decided to portray dentistry as a cruel, sadistic vocation? Here’s the play-by-play: Hermey, who’s apparently not man enough to grind his way through round-the-clock toy construction like all the other elf-slaves, gets mocked by Santa’s sweatshop foreman for wanting to learn to be a dentist. So already we have this particular subset of medicine treated as a wasteful sissy science practiced by freaks and “misfits” like Hermey, whose passion is equated with Rudolph’s hated deformity. When Hermey skips mandatory elf-choir practice, the foreman arrives at the workshop to berate him anew. Hermey’s spending the time practicing on a doll — by hitting it in the mouth with a hammer. And we know that those are splotches of red paint on the work table, but they look suspiciously like blood. Skip ahead to late in the story to the Abominable Snowman’s cave, where Rudolph’s parents and Clarice (“Hello Clarice,” I couldn’t help saying in a Hannibal Lecter voice upon her first appearance, my own private joke) are trapped. Rudolph tries to save them, but “Bumble” conks him out with a stalactite. Hermey and Yukon Cornelius happen along, and they hatch a plan to lure Bumble out of the cave. Cornelius KO’s him with a boulder from above. He says to Hermey, ominously: “All right, dentist, you take it from here.” Cornelius goes inside the cave to check on the reindeer, and Bumble comes roaring inside. But Hermey, who’s not a licensed DDS, after all, has extracted all of the monster’s teeth while he was unconscious. He smiles as he brandishes his ghastly pliers. This image is now available for purchase in figurine form, and the line “I wanna be a dentist!” is on T-shirts. But how many kids beg to go in for a checkup after viewing this torture-fest? Without teeth, Bumble is now suitable for domestication, like McMurphy after electroshock therapy in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.” After being led by leash to Santa’s compound, he glumly goes about the business of joining the others in decorating for the big night, Christmas Eve. Hermey is allowed to pursue his passion and open up a dental office there at the North Pole, safely beyond the reach of any health board or oversight agency. The extraction is never shown onscreen, but it stays with you, just as the ear-slicing in “Reservoir Dogs” did. I explained to my kid that the monster had infected teeth, and that’s why he was so grouchy. And that’s why it’s important to brush and floss. So there’s a health lesson to be learned in there after all. Now, to explain Frosty’s summary execution in the greenhouse …" · |
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#17
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05-08-2025, 10:19 PM
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Re: POLAND | University Employee Beheaded on Campus
wtf I can't even focus enough to read all this shit. I remember that movie, I was like 5. Ur jokes only land with the dinosaurs, and I'm 38. I like your comments, this one lost me in length and reference tho. Rock on DR legend |
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#18
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05-08-2025, 11:01 PM
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| So Fucking Banned Poster Rank:1409 Join Date: Nov 2024 Posts: 418 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Quoted: 67 Post(s)
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Re: POLAND | University Employee Beheaded on Campus
His parents must be proud, "He was the first one in the family accepted to asshole factory." |
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#20
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05-09-2025, 01:55 AM
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Re: POLAND | University Employee Beheaded on Campus
No. But it's not true, that capital punishment works. People who are - for some reasons - creazy - don't think about punishment.
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