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#54
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02-13-2014, 01:39 PM
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Re: Man's Finger Shot Off (More or Less) [CHECHNYA]
LOL thanks for that. When I say 'step' on a piece of lego, of course I use the word very loosely, since I am so fat I am unable to step since 1989. What usually happens is I fall asleep near the offending piece of lego, and in the night I continue to get fatter at such a rate that my body oozes across the floor and grows over the piece of lego, thus causing the pain I mentioned earlier. Notably the lego blocks are also attracted to me, as I am so massive I generate gravity in the order of 5.2 metres per second squared. Which also means that I have to shit with enough speed to exceed my own escape velocity. You don't wanna know what happens when that fails.
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