[kittaiii]

Real words of the real people that are going/gone through hell.

1.

i have put these pictures here, to show you, to tell you the truth. i have not tried to romanticize them in any way. because anorexia is not romantic, at all.
you struggle every day to achieve perfection, because you believe it will make you happy. if you just lose five pounds more, and five more. you will be complete. happy.

but you know what you get?
you get anemia
you suffer from hair loss, you go bald
you get lanugo, fine body hair all over, face, arms, stomach.
you bruise easily, all over
your stomach breaks down totally
your teeth rot
you faint
you get heart failure
you get kidney failure
you get chest pains
you get amorrea, loss of monthly periods
you may get sterile
you loose your sex drive
you get muscle pains and deformations
you can get leukemia, its true
you loose you social life
you get depressed
you get lonely
miserable
empty
and then you die

2.

I was in a treatment center and i basically tried to kill myself, stopped eating. I didn't know where i was half the time because i just zoned out into another world...It was weird. Hours would go by and I would be so closed off I would "wake-up" suddenly aware. Well, anyway, the treatment center called the police on me I was arrested...the cop was extremely mean and harsh. He asked to see my wrists...there are scars of course, its not the first time i wanted to kill myself. THen he made me stand up as I swayed and everything was blurry. I cried, then got over it. Driven 45 minutes to some hospital I am still not sure of in the back of a cop car. I have bruises everywhere. My wrists are bruised from the cuffs, my inside of my elbows from getting my blood drawn. I was put in a closed room with a two inch wide window, in paper clothes...The released me later...a long ass time later into whatever city i was in, i have no clue. but i am back in spokane now. Still utterly nhappy. Actually m ore unhappy. I found the reason they called the cops, they found razors in my room. Here is the thing, i brought none, bought some on an outting at walgreens and they were locked up. I never had razored. Someone planted them...I want to go back because there is no way i can live without help. I just dont want to

3.

When will I be beautiful...?Let me be wanted.I was in hospital, gained a few kilos, came out and lost them all.
I wish it was easy. But it's not, and I'm too weak willed to fight it.I actually think I'd like to return to hospital, as I know that really it is probably the safest thing to do.
But it's my exam year and I already missed so much stuff last year. My parents don't want me missing anymore school either. I also don't want to ask them if I can go back to hospital, they'll think they are failing in helping me recover, when really I'm the one that's failing.

4.

Now i am perfect.

5.

because i was mad about how much i ate.

6.

i have no self esteem, or the time to dedicate to gaining weight..

7.

Perfect 70 lbs.

8.

This picture has been take in august i was 47 kg now I m at 46kg i have lose a little because , "Mia" or the bulimia it's here ... but I want arrive to 44 kg or 42 kg ... so i must take 2 to 4 kg... anorexia is not a game it's a disease...

9.

Waiting for the end to finally draw her under. Engufing, submurging, suffocating benieth the weight of her own mind.
Peacefully sleep, sweet baby.

10.

have had anorrexia nervosa for so many years. It has plauged my life. My sense of self is so completely distorted and warped I have trouble comprehending the extent of damage to which I inflict upon myself.
It is not beautiful or inspirational. It is a serious illness, it is pain and self-hatred personified. Ever day is a struggle, there is no cure, you battle to stustain life every moment. I hope I can show the harsh, raw, humanising reality of this disease. Anorexia is a cage to which I hold the key... but I can't bring myself to undo the lock.

[Nite]

great post even if it made me sad............

[Jere]

[TheSMS]

George Carlin put it well! "Rich cunt don't wanna eat? Fuck her!"

[dooshman]

Self hate at its worst.

Good post.

[Brainplague]

Great post. It really is a window into the minds of these people.

[ShilaNorris]

...but when yur over weight and/or very obese, it's just as bad physically and emotionally. Having trouble with my fatness all my life, I would rather suffer skinny. I went through a period of thinness when I was 19. Felt wonderful! Now I'm fat again at 31. Kate Moss said "Nothing tastes as good as being skinny." I have to concur.

[LittleNightmare]

[Brent Burt]

A girl can never be too thin

[alphawolf15]