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#31
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09-20-2012, 03:46 PM
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 My Rank: FIRST SERGEANT Poster Rank:394 Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 3,054 Mentioned: 2 Post(s) Quoted: 276 Post(s)
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Re: Unhappy Legs
Wow  I can imagine that was and still is very frustrating and energy-consuming. Thank you for sharing your experience and the images too. Startling shit.
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#32
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09-20-2012, 11:53 PM
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 ★The Queen★ Poster Rank:67 Female Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 23,498
Contributions: 120
Mentioned: 95 Post(s) Quoted: 3083 Post(s)
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Re: Unhappy Legs
My father, may he rest in peace, had a DNR Order, but, I think more because my two brothers, had no patience. He'd eat like a pig when my mother and I or my other brother and his partner were there, until his caregiver told him he was eating too much. He swore to never eat again. He didn't until nurses came in to feed him like a baby. He ate himself before that. My brother also told him not to walk when he wanted to wash his hands. I walked him to the sink. Killed my back, but, it made me happy for two minutes! The other brother said he was down since they stopped his physical therapy and how much he liked the bike. After their deaths, I found a bike in the basement and was pissed off royally! My brothers were alcoholics and couldn't take care of themselves. It didn't make sense to me because it seemed so easy to me. I had my mother with me and babysitting, then school pickup duty, which I volunteered for before my niece even started school when I saw her bullied. Also, my father wasn't as bad then. The bully is now 14 or 15, highly medicated and has been arrested three times for being drunk in public. Nice, eh? Karma. When I saw her smack my niece, who was about 2, it upset me. I won't smack a baby and she wasn't doing anything. The bully was about 8 or so. I did tell her I couldn't bully her or I'd end up in jail, but, she'd be bullied someday and she wouldn't like it one bit! I'm sorry. I went off subject, as I sometimes do. I think some people are hoping for that one last miracle cure all or just give up when the hospital doesn't give it to them. They think, "This will be the day", but, as you know, SmokeyNite, that day never comes. |
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#33
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09-22-2012, 04:58 PM
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| So Fucking Banned Poster Rank:1967 Male, last I checked. Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 255 Mentioned: 2 Post(s) Quoted: 18 Post(s)
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Re: Unhappy Legs
[Again, this is the fiancee, who ought to be the wife.] My mother is STILL in the ICU, despite constant promises of being moved into a regular room day after day. Frankly, I'm happy that they're keeping her in the ICU. The longer she has 24/hour watchful care the better. One doctor told me that her CO level is at 80, whereas a normal person is at a 6 (or something along those lines). I asked what we can realistically expect as far as how long she can live. He said that best case scenario is 2-5 years, though, with her CO levels SO HIGH, she could be gone any day, even though she seems to be doing just fine, laughing, smiling, talking, etc. Unfortunately, because my mom has some money, there has been some very interesting drama surrounding her that I won't get into, but I have to say that I am VERY glad that she has a will already made out. WHen I spoke to the doctor I asked him about any paperwork she should worry about, and he approached her about whether she would want extreme measures taken to save her life (i.e. intubating, cracking ribs, etc.) and.. she said YES. So... no DNR for my mama. She'll take all the pain if it means living another five hours of misery. The worst part here is that she acts like a complete angel in the hospital. Let's them do whatever they want, basically, and makes me (us) look like the bad guy. She tried to blame my cats for her staph infection (wtf?). Her best friend allows it. The other day she took off her protective garments because they were too hot (WAH). Later that day she went to pick up her granddaughter at school... and now she is sick with diarrhea. All I can think is... "DID YOU GIVE STAPH TO YOUNG CHILDREN?!" Then she wanted to meet with me right before I went to see my mom.... so that I could pass diarrhea on to my mother? WTH! They keep trying to convince my mama that I don't care for her, that I don't love her enough... but I'm the one that finally forced her in the hospital. When I called her best friend, the woman said she didn't feel well enough to go :/ Still, I'm the bad daughter because I curled up in a ball of misery after hearing that my mother's life expectancy wasn't what I wished and missed a day's visit. The best friend said "I went TWO TIMES that day, and you couldn't even make it." Well, what about all those nights I sat up with her while she was sick? What about taking her to the damned ER? Augh. I'm not just saying this to complain, because that DOES feel good, but because anyone who hasn't gone through this sort of thing needs to understand how people start acting when someone looks like they might be taking a turn for the worst. They go straight for the jugular... I am the only child, and thus the only heir, and I can tell that they'd just LOVE to get rid of me. She even said that I just want my mother's money.... Well, if that was true, all I had to do was NOT CALL the ambulance, since she was so close to death. The biggest problem here is that lies are being told to the nurses and staff. I literally had one tell me that if I started a fist fight in her ICU that she'd call the police. Why in the heck would I want to start a fist fight with my SICK mother??? The most violent I typically get is in throwing things at... walls (never intentionally at ANYTHING alive). Please, everyone beware of your parents' friends in times like this. The best friend is now in charge of my mother's check book, so to get any money (my mother is currently taking care of me due to matters I won't mention here) I have to ask her. After she screamed at me for not loving my mother and then drug me across the floor by my hair... I REALLY don't want to see her to ask for money. Talk about uncomfortable. ANYWAY, strictly speaking health wise: her legs look much better. The antibiotics (lots of them) have been doing what they are supposed to. Her lungs are doing better than they have in over a decade (remember, this woman smokes between 6-10 packs a day, though she told the doctors TWO). She now has a CPAP machine, which has given her the best sleep out of her entire life (I've been telling her that she's needed one for over a year!). Her skin is still pretty red, but the swelling in her legs is down to the point where I can tell that she has knees and ankles and toes.... It's pretty impressive. She's starting to be shaped like a normal human being!!    |
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#35
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09-24-2012, 10:25 PM
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 ★ Legacy Member ★ Poster Rank:772 I'm not A bitch.... I'm THE bitch. Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 1,033 Mentioned: 4 Post(s) Quoted: 174 Post(s)
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Re: Unhappy Legs
Listen baby doll khiarhu.....do not let those people get to you. You have done all the worrying and loving you can. If the person you are giving that affection to cannot express the receiving of it or understand it, do not beat yourself up. Be glad in knowing that you did all you could. That happened with my grandmother and me....I will PM you tomorrow about it. I am on my Android right now and it pissessss me off when I'm typing on it! Thank you for the kind words in an earlier post....I just never got around to thanking you. I am not a religious person, but karma catches up to people (like my pal diamondsmiles said). This so-called friend of hers was not there @ the all-night bouts, I'm sure. You have done what you can....make sure you and your other family is healthy for the long haul ahead. :)
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#36
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09-25-2012, 07:29 PM
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| ★The Queen★ Poster Rank:67 Female Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 23,498
Contributions: 120
Mentioned: 95 Post(s) Quoted: 3083 Post(s)
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Re: Unhappy Legs
Older people are stubborn! Trust me on this. You can't make the patient do anything she doesn't want to do. I hope she changes her mind and keeps up the medical attention. As long as she is found to be of sound mind, you can't do anything if she abused herself and didn't get the proper care. |
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#38
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09-26-2012, 12:24 AM
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| My Rank: PRIVATE Poster Rank:6948 Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 29 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Quoted: 0 Post(s)
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Re: Unhappy Legs
No good deed goes unpunished. I'm sorry that you have to deal with such a manipulative mother. I wish you the best of luck. Please put yourself first and take care of yourself. I know it is very hard to accept that some mothers aren't the best and some do not have the best intentions, but understand that there is nothing you can do to change her ways or her thinking. You can only make your life better by being the best to yourself. I wish you all the good things in life that you deserve. You seem like a very caring person. |
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#39
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09-27-2012, 06:19 AM
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| ★ Legacy Member ★ Poster Rank:772 I'm not A bitch.... I'm THE bitch. Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 1,033 Mentioned: 4 Post(s) Quoted: 174 Post(s)
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Re: Unhappy Legs
I am just ducky!!  Was I missed?!?!? It makes me get that special feeling all over! Hey, darling.....I'm doing just fine. I was incommunicado this weekend, had to make a fast trip up to Kentucky to pick my dad up (he was ill, but back on the road now!). Other than that, i am heading up to north Florida this weekend for a family wedding (just shoot me now). Hopefully, after that, I can put everybody else off at least until the holidays and stay under my rock. How have you been?
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