[Seven Of Nine]

...I'm getting depressed. I am not really 'better' and I'm starting to doubt I ever will be. I have not yet been able to return to work, I can't really enjoy the spring and I doubt I'll see much of the summer.

May 31st marks 5 months since I became ill.
In a nut shell, this is what happened.

Between December 31st and January 4th, I went from being vibrantly healthy to close to death.

My boyfriend saw me for the first time since before the new year the morning of January 4th. I could not stand straight, I could not lay flat. My breathing was short and fast unable to take a deep breath. I presented no fever. I had no pain passing urine. I had horrific pain along the bottom edges of my rib cage on both sides. My BF wrapped me in a blanket and drove me to the hospital.

In just a couple of days I had become septic, I had pneumonia on both lungs, I had a kidney infection on both sides and something was causing me to be filled with '3rd space fluid' from the point where your ribs meet way up high between your breasts all the way down to my pelvic region. I had an unknown bacteria in my blood, which to this day, has not been successfully analyzed.

I avoided surgery (thankfully) and spent nearly the next 3 weeks on IV antibiotics along with multiple daily X-rays of my lungs, CT scans, blood oxygen tests and a myriad of other non stop tests. It was about day 9 before I knew up from down, I had not been allowed to get out of bed (not that I had tried). I had not once asked about my phone, my computer, my bills. Nothing mattered. For the first time in my life I was very sick.

When I was released I was told it would be a long recovery, my blood levels would have to normalize over time and I would have to work slowly to gain back my strength. I was told that I had not been expected to survive the septicemia and be alive to walk out of the hospital.

Here is what I know:
I am still very weak, though much improved since January. I can't go out for longer than about 2 or 3 hours on a good day. Whether I am at home or out, I hit 'walls' throughout the day when my energy level collapses and I must stop all activity. I'll spend a few hours resting (not sleeping) and then attempt to get a little bit more out of the day.

I feel I've aged 20 years since new years eve.

I'm writing this as therapy for myself and as a contribution to the medical section. All I want is to feel well again. I'm starting to believe I never will and I'm becoming more depressed and lonely with every passing moment.

*When I arrived at the hospital I had my IPhone in my hand where it always seemed to be. They never took it from me. I guess this has become rather common, though a surprise to me. It allowed me to take a few photographs I would otherwise never have been able to take.

The photos are in order
1. Christmas Eve
2. Christmas Night
3. New Years Eve in hospital
4. January 3rd showing belly distension (my belly was very flat and toned prior to this day)
5. The crash cart brought in during my cardiac event @ 1:30am January 5th
6. Me right after my 'cardiac event' @ 1:30am January 5th
7. The first day I was lucid, about 10 days after being admitted.
8. Another 7 days later I'm sitting up for my first meal

[Cumulonimbus]

Thank you for sharing this extremely personal part of your life with us, WA.

So they have no idea what caused the initial infection. Wow.

[collaredgirl65]

[Seven Of Nine]

Originally Posted by Cumulonimbus ↗

Thank you for sharing this extremely personal part of your life with us, WA.

So they have no idea what caused the initial infection. Wow.

They have not determined what caused the infection. I keep hoping my Dr. will call and say "The blank is filled in now", but as of yet, no.

Sorry to vent, I'm just really frustrated especially with friends and co workers who keep insisting that I should 'get out', 'go for a walk'. I just don't have it in me.

[Spiffyfable]

Sepsis is not cool.... Stay Strong

[rheedork]

I hope they soon find out what's wrong with your body. I'm also a very sickly person and it's terrible not being able to act normal. I always get depressed when I'm for example criticized for feeling ill and queezy after standing/walking for a short while. There should be a magic cure for everything in my opinion! Nobody should have to feel helpless..

It's not easy to think positive but I'm rooting for you! Just stay strong for a while longer and everything will surely work out.

[darkhorse]

Something similar happened to me in 2009. My infection was due to MRSA of the pleura of the right lung. It totally encapsulated my right lung and collapsed it, causing me to go into left sided heart failure. No one can explain to me what triggered it. I was told it happens more often than people realize and it usually strikes healthy adults between the ages of 30 and 50. I to have aged 20 years and I have never fully recovered. I understand about the not having the strength part. Just do what you can do and don't push yourself to satisfy others. Good luck, take care, your not alone in this.

[Seven Of Nine]

Originally Posted by darkhorse ↗

Something similar happened to me in 2009. My infection was due to MRSA of the pleura of the right lung. It totally encapsulated my right lung and collapsed it, causing me to go into left sided heart failure. No one can explain to me what triggered it. I was told it happens more often than people realize and it usually strikes healthy adults between the ages of 30 and 50. I to have aged 20 years and I have never fully recovered. I understand about the not having the strength part. Just do what you can do and don't push yourself to satisfy others. Good luck, take care, your not alone in this.

Thank you for sharing your story, it's so very similar it's almost freaky. MRSA was ruled out along with every other known bacteria. For you this is three years later and you're still not back to your old self? That's very sad to hear, I'm so sorry.

I've always been of the opinion that in order to recover from any illness or injury, one MUST do what they used to, so on a small scale I do as much as I can of everything I used to do that was normal just 5 months ago. The day they told me it would be 4 or 5 months to recover I scoffed at them, as IF it would take that long ...sigh.

[Space Particle]

Hang in there, im not saying something like this happen to me but, my baby was battling with life and death he made it through. There is so much therapy for him, im a 24/7 nurse to him. Take care..

[Seven Of Nine]

Originally Posted by rheedork ↗

I hope they soon find out what's wrong with your body. I'm also a very sickly person and it's terrible not being able to act normal. I always get depressed when I'm for example criticized for feeling ill and queezy after standing/walking for a short while. There should be a magic cure for everything in my opinion! Nobody should have to feel helpless..

It's not easy to think positive but I'm rooting for you! Just stay strong for a while longer and everything will surely work out.

Tell you what, I'll send out positive thoughts for you if you do the same for me. I'm sorry that you're not well and unable to do things that used to be normal for you. It is rather disheartening when those around you don't understand.