[SickSOB]

I have one story that kills me everyday that I think about it. I have the picture as my desktop image to remind myself that life is too short to jut waste it. But here's the story:

On September 19, 2001, me, my mother, my father, my sister, and my nephew were on our way back from my aunts wedding. We were on the highway traveling about 70 mph. My father was driving, my mom was in the pass. seat, my sister was behind my father, I was behind my mother, and my nephew was in the middle of us. Coming down the highway, my father started to pass a tractor trailer that was in the left lane. Apparently the driver failed to see us, and started merging into our lane. We were about parallel with the cabs rear wheels, and my father had two choices, either speed up, or slam on the brakes. Unfortunately he chose to slam on the brakes, causing the wheels to lock, loosing control. We bounced off the trailers real tires, sending us skidding into the end of the guardrail, basically impaling our wagon like a shishkabob. The guardrail went through the drivers side of the car, killing my father, my sister, and my 7 year old nephew instantly. My mother was knocked out, but basically unharmed. I was knocked out as well, but with major lacerations to the left side of my body. My arm was nearly torn from my shoulder, and my leg, which was resting behind my father, was twisted beyond recognition. I woke up approx 15 minutes after the crash (according to the police report), to the sound of my mother screaming. I felt almost no pain. I couldn't see out of one eye, nor could I hear out of one ear. I was basically numb from the adrenalin coursing through my veins. When they cut me and my mother out of the car, I saw the rest of my family laying on the ground, under blood soaked white sheets. I was in the hospital for 4 months, undergoing 15 surgeries total. They amputated my leg, and were forced to remove my left eye. The lacerations on the left side of my body were so deep, they cut into vital organs, causing me to lose more than 40% of my blood. But the weirdest part of it all, is because of this accident, i actually know what it feels like to die. When I went into the ER, i died on the table 6 times, the last was for 8 minutes. Thanks to the doctor who wouldn't give up on me, he finally got my heart beating again, and fixed me...well sorta. I cant even be in a car anymore, because its a constant panic attack. the same when I see a big rig, i nearly pass out every time. If it has taught me anything, its that life can end even in the happiest moment, at any point and time. Live life to the fullest. I just wish i would have let my nephew sit behind my mother, he was too young to leave us. But that's my story, I just figured I needed to share it. Below is the pic of the car after the accident.

[imgame]

Very hard for you, I can't imagine going through something like that & just hope I never have to. I have a wonderfull husband & a good life which I am very thankfull for. Looking on this site gives me even more reason to appreciate what I have. Don't anyone worry too much about their comments- we all say stuff we wish we could take back at one time or another & after all they are just words. I am not religeous, have had a few rotten things happen growing up but nothing compaired to other peoples miss fortune, I just think shit happens, no reason, not b/c of any god & when we die we just die. Look foward to each day people & try to be happy within yourselves

[SickSOB]

Originally Posted by imgame ↗

Very hard for you, I can't imagine going through something like that & just hope I never have to. I have a wonderfull husband & a good life which I am very thankfull for. Looking on this site gives me even more reason to appreciate what I have. Don't anyone worry too much about their comments- we all say stuff we wish we could take back at one time or another & after all they are just words. I am not religeous, have had a few rotten things happen growing up but nothing compaired to other peoples miss fortune, I just think shit happens, no reason, not b/c of any god & when we die we just die. Look foward to each day people & try to be happy within yourselves

Couldn't have said it better myself.

[dimagg08]

Originally Posted by SickSOB ↗

I have one story that kills me everyday that I think about it. I have the picture as my desktop image to remind myself that life is too short to jut waste it. But here's the story:

On September 19, 2001, me, my mother, my father, my sister, and my nephew were on our way back from my aunts wedding. We were on the highway traveling about 70 mph. My father was driving, my mom was in the pass. seat, my sister was behind my father, I was behind my mother, and my nephew was in the middle of us. Coming down the highway, my father started to pass a tractor trailer that was in the left lane. Apparently the driver failed to see us, and started merging into our lane. We were about parallel with the cabs rear wheels, and my father had two choices, either speed up, or slam on the brakes. Unfortunately he chose to slam on the brakes, causing the wheels to lock, loosing control. We bounced off the trailers real tires, sending us skidding into the end of the guardrail, basically impaling our wagon like a shishkabob. The guardrail went through the drivers side of the car, killing my father, my sister, and my 7 year old nephew instantly. My mother was knocked out, but basically unharmed. I was knocked out as well, but with major lacerations to the left side of my body. My arm was nearly torn from my shoulder, and my leg, which was resting behind my father, was twisted beyond recognition. I woke up approx 15 minutes after the crash (according to the police report), to the sound of my mother screaming. I felt almost no pain. I couldn't see out of one eye, nor could I hear out of one ear. I was basically numb from the adrenalin coursing through my veins. When they cut me and my mother out of the car, I saw the rest of my family laying on the ground, under blood soaked white sheets. I was in the hospital for 4 months, undergoing 15 surgeries total. They amputated my leg, and were forced to remove my left eye. The lacerations on the left side of my body were so deep, they cut into vital organs, causing me to lose more than 40% of my blood. But the weirdest part of it all, is because of this accident, i actually know what it feels like to die. When I went into the ER, i died on the table 6 times, the last was for 8 minutes. Thanks to the doctor who wouldn't give up on me, he finally got my heart beating again, and fixed me...well sorta. I cant even be in a car anymore, because its a constant panic attack. the same when I see a big rig, i nearly pass out every time. If it has taught me anything, its that life can end even in the happiest moment, at any point and time. Live life to the fullest. I just wish i would have let my nephew sit behind my mother, he was too young to leave us. But that's my story, I just figured I needed to share it. Below is the pic of the car after the accident.

I'm deeply sorry for your loss on that day, you were also a very brave and strong person considering you survived that crash.
My story is no where as bad as yours.

[Vanity]

Hey, it`s strange I feel some similarities to you. Not that I actually had a accident myself but my uncle died a year ago in a horrable car crash. I never was able to see gore, I even was scared of this shit. But after that thing with my uncle happened I started browsing this site daily.

I still have a video whatsoever which was aired in TV and shows him next to the carwreck (covered with a white blanket). But I dont feel its right to show this here.
As I said its strange that I am able to watch all that gore stuff, heck I don`t know what changed but it gives me nothing seeing it :/

[lizzard]

Who's the chick .... I want to bang her... Ya

[mrayzorsharp]

hey folks. my heart goes out to everyone who has experienced loss and have had terrible things happen to yourselves personally. i honestly expected alot more octards posting really syupid things on here. so, in a way i kind of thank the people who normally would for just leaving this thread alone. it's very personal for alot of people who have posted here. its weird how confronting some of the worst things in your life can actually make it easier to deal with. i really enjoy reading your posts and hope that anyone else reading them can understand whats going on here. peace, stabs, and body slabs!!!

[mrayzorsharp]

THATS MY EX FIANCE', AMY. SHE IS ALL YOURS. HOPE YOU GOT GIRTH CUZ SHE'S A LOOSE ONE.

[Shadowkeeper]

Originally Posted by dimagg08 ↗

I'm deeply sorry for your loss on that day, you were also a very brave and strong person considering you survived that crash.
My story is no where as bad as yours.

Ditto that, because I just can't think of any words of my own that do you and yours justice...

[festernc]

Hey man, my experiences with death are somewhat varied. I've seen several close relatives die from cancer, one paralyzed from the neck down in a car wreck, one close friend committed suicide, watched my wife's grandmother (who was like a grandmother to me) die slowly from alzheimers and dementia, dead bodies from when I worked as an animal control officer (we sometimes had to get aggressive dogs out of the houses first so the detectives could get in to conduct their investigations). Most of my experiences with death though came from my time as an animal cruelty investigator. I had to deal with all types of death and trauma on a daily basis (usually with little to no sleep) for over four years. I can't tell you the number of times I've had dogs and cats die in my arms or when I've had to help euthanize in the middle of the night cause there's just nothing else to do for them due to their extensive injuries. They used to make me decapitate dead animals and package the "specimens" to send off for rabies testing in cases where a dog or cat didn't have a current rabies shot after it was euthanized. And I've seen the most horrible cases of abuse you could ever imagine. I won't post those pictures here because it isn't allowed, and so often the guilty were able to bypass justice or simply received a slap on the wrist. It fucks your head up after a while, seeing that shit day in and day out. You spend months on end trying to rescue a helpless creature from a horrible situation just to see them killed at the end because their behavior made it a liability to give them to someone. On top of that you have an extremely hostile public to deal with day in and day out. It became an all to common occurance to have guns or knives (even a chainsaw once) used to threaten our lives. We asked the county to allow us to be certified law enforcement officers so we could carry weapons to protect ourselves. Instead the county gave the jobs to corrupt cops and we were all thrown out like garbage, even though in four years we only lost one case in court. But in the end all I was left with were horrible images that I can't get out of my head. I've seen more suffering, pain, death, and cruelty than any person should ever be exposed to and slowly I'm recovering from that. It almost ruined my marriage, and has ruined many friendships over the years. I think about death constantly, you can't just turn it off. Even with medication and therapy it doesn't go away. I don't know why I feel comfort on this site but I do. Maybe seeing that other people have had to see and deal with situations as bad and worse than mine brings some measure of comfort, I don't know. Then again, maybe I'm just a sick fucker. I don't feel sympathy anymore. I don't feel sadness at the sight of death or suffering anymore. Just numb. My wife doesn't understand, and neither do my friends or family. It's just my cross to bear I suppose. There are many who are worse off than me (our men and women in uniform for instance), and I feel ashamed at my inability to cope with my experiences in the face of their sacrifices. Maybe it will get better with time. I don't know. It's been over three years already and I still see the blood, hear the screams, and smell the decaying flesh every day.