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#19
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05-08-2011, 03:06 PM
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Re: Doctors Performing A Hand Amputation
Wish I knew the story, but I can only guess. Hell, I'll make one up if you like. It was the hottest summer on record that year. Mujubimbé (cool name, huh?) wanted only to cool off in between his first and second jobs that day. He had been working two jobs for over 6 years now, just to support his family back home. He missed them terribly. On that day, he thought about them as he walked to the river where he, along with the whole village, went to cool off on days like this. He walked along the beaten down path that lead to the river, as he had done daily for as long as he could remember, when suddenly, he heard what he thought was a woman screaming off in the distance to the west. Having children of his own, he felt the need to not only investigate the sound, but to help in any way possible, because if it was his family in trouble, he would hope that someone would rush to their aid and help also. It was the right thing to do, but little did he know, the hungry pack of hyenas had fooled villagers like this before, and in all actuality had been living off humans for over a generation. It would appear as though the hyenas had evolved beyond being scavenger feeders and had moved up the food chain to being full fledged pack hunters. Luckily for Mujubimbé, he had already been by his hut today to pick up his things for his second job as a night safari guide. He landed this job because he had studied English as a child with the missionaries who came to his village bringing both the word of God and genital herpes. One missionary in particular, had taken a certain fondness to Mujubimbé, and taught him English using a combination of the Bible and recorded episodes of Blossom. Oh how he wanted to be Joey Lawrence. He emulated Joey's swagger because he felt if he believes hard enough, and tried to be like Joey enough, he too could star in a tv show in Hollywood some day. As Mujubimbé got further from the village, and closer to where he thought the sound originated, he smelled them. He smelled the filthy pack of hyenas thanks only to the slight easternly wind, and that wind would be the thing that would save his life. He instinctively reached for the machete he kept on his right leg and as he pulled it out of it's sheath, he was stopped cold in his tracks. He saw in front of him, the biggest hyena he had ever seen. He began to shake with fear. He heard movement to his right, and when he looked, he saw two more hyenas, and these two were bearing down on him at full speed. Machete drawn he exclaimed in his best Joey Lawrence, "Whoa!" He readied himself for the attack, and with one well aimed and perfectly timed swipe, cut the heads off both the hyenas who had been running at him. With the fresh blood dripping off the business end of his machete, he turned his attention back to Cujo the hyena. He had a moment of laughter in his head when he thought of the name he had just given the massive killer. "Cujo. How clever," he thought. The moment was short lived however, because in the period of time he had been distracted by his joke, Cujo had advanced upon him. Before he could make any attempt to save himself, the animal bit his left hand. The pain he felt was almost unimaginable, and was certainly the worst pain he had ever felt. With almost animal like instinct, he cut the hyenas head off and frantically pried the his hand free of the jaws of the beast he had just decapitated. He cried as hard as he ran, and then he cried and ran harder, leaving a trail of blood that stained the thick grass as he ran though it. The run back to the village, seemed to take twice as long as the trip to the pack of hyenas. He knew that was all in his head though. As he finally made it back to the village elder/medicine man, he rushed through the story and the elder told him he would be fine, and the pain would subside if he rubbed the juice from a certain berry on it, which would create a protective seal from the demons that could enter his body through the cut. The elder rubbed the berry juice on the wound, and almost instantly, he felt the pain go away. At this point the blood has started to coagulate so Mujubimbé decided he would be fine, and returned home to sleep off his traumatic experience. As he awoke the next day from the strangest dream he had ever dreamed, he went to rub his eyes and realized his injured left hand was the size of a fucking football. "Whoa!" he exclaimed again. The elder got one look and smell of this hand and told Mujubimbé he must be rushed to the nearest hospital, which was three days away. Three days later and voila! You have these pictures. Don't worry though, he may have lost his hand, but because of that, he landed a role as Captain Hook in the off broadway version of Peter Pan, and later would go on to change his name to James Earl Jones. The rest, as they say, is history. Or maybe he got a paper cut. I don't know. Paper cuts can be bad. |