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#1
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01-19-2015, 06:51 AM
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 Curmudgeonly Jackwagon Poster Rank:185 Country Trash Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 8,307
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Raimundo's Big Adventure!
Raimundo had a new bike. It was a special bike and Raimundo loved it dearly. He took very good care of his bike every day. Fernanda was Raimundo's friend. Fernanda needed to buy crack, but her dealer was far away. So she asked Raimundo if she could borrow his favorite bike to peddle over and procure the crack. Raimundo was trepidatious, but finally relented and lent Fernanda the marvelous bicycle if she promised to return it the very next day. As one might expect, poor Fernanda smoked too much crack and forgot where she parked the special bike. Raimundo showed up at her house the following day looking for his beloved bike, but he only found Fernanda, drowsy and reeking of crack. He demanded the bike and she only murmured in response. Perhaps she told him it had been stolen and taken to the basement of the Alamo. Perhaps she told him to fuck off and quit tripping about a stupid bike. Whatever she told him, Raimundo was not impressed. So he pulled out his trusty, rusty blade and bled her like a stuck pig. Now Fernanda is dead on the floor and Raimundo will never see his bike again, unless it is coincidentally being stored at the prison. No one is happy at the end of this tale.   ·  ·  · |
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#2
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01-19-2015, 07:19 AM
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 ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:35 Female Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 43,321
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Re: Raimundo's Big Adventure!
That reads like a Ladybird Book story, hahaha excellent  |
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#3
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01-19-2015, 07:47 AM
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 ✝Mudderator from Hell✝ Poster Rank:10 e-mail Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 96,873
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Re: Raimundo's Big Adventure!
i'm surprised her "friend" didn't rape her afterwards. Guess he was really holding back.
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#4
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01-19-2015, 07:49 AM
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| Curmudgeonly Jackwagon Poster Rank:185 Country Trash Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 8,307
Contributions: 285
8,307Posts 88,748Thanked 3,679Quoted 198Mentioned 285Contrib. |
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Re: Raimundo's Big Adventure!
Man, all he wanted was his bike back. I doubt he could even sport wood with the wheels MIA as they were. Too much anxiety.
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#5
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01-19-2015, 09:05 AM
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 My Rank: SERGEANT Poster Rank:1118 Mademoiselle Join Date: Jan 2014 Posts: 591 591Posts 2,085Thanked 194Quoted 2Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Raimundo's Big Adventure!
Bitch traded it for crack!!!!!!  |
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#6
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01-19-2015, 11:14 AM
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 ★ Legacy Member ★ Poster Rank:1122 Male Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 589 589Posts 1,867Thanked 153Quoted 0Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Raimundo's Big Adventure!
Every Brazil story should be written like that! Awesome!  |
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#7
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01-19-2015, 11:28 AM
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| Curmudgeonly Jackwagon Poster Rank:185 Country Trash Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 8,307
Contributions: 285
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Re: Raimundo's Big Adventure!
A rather astute assumption, I must say.  |
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#8
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01-19-2015, 11:55 AM
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 ★ Legacy Member ★ Poster Rank:181 USA haters! Keep sucking the big Orange Dick! Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 8,571 8,571Posts 27,968Thanked 2,777Quoted 9Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Raimundo's Big Adventure!
Don't fuck with a man's ride...
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#9
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01-19-2015, 12:00 PM
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 My Rank: STAFF SERGEANT Poster Rank:727 male Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 1,140
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Re: Raimundo's Big Adventure!
Everyone who read this tale is happy. |
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#10
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01-19-2015, 01:42 PM
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 My Rank: SECOND LIEUTENANT Poster Rank:258 I pee standing up Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 5,482 5,482Posts 12,699Thanked 2,323Quoted 28Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Raimundo's Big Adventure!
Which brings me to my next point - DON'T...SMOKE...CRACK - Lawrence Taylor |
