Raimundo's Big Adventure!

**Vedderman** · #1 01-19-2015, 06:51 AM

Raimundo had a new bike. It was a special bike and Raimundo loved it dearly. He took very good care of his bike every day.

Fernanda was Raimundo's friend. Fernanda needed to buy crack, but her dealer was far away. So she asked Raimundo if she could borrow his favorite bike to peddle over and procure the crack. Raimundo was trepidatious, but finally relented and lent Fernanda the marvelous bicycle if she promised to return it the very next day.

As one might expect, poor Fernanda smoked too much crack and forgot where she parked the special bike. Raimundo showed up at her house the following day looking for his beloved bike, but he only found Fernanda, drowsy and reeking of crack. He demanded the bike and she only murmured in response. Perhaps she told him it had been stolen and taken to the basement of the Alamo. Perhaps she told him to fuck off and quit tripping about a stupid bike. Whatever she told him, Raimundo was not impressed. So he pulled out his trusty, rusty blade and bled her like a stuck pig.

Now Fernanda is dead on the floor and Raimundo will never see his bike again, unless it is coincidentally being stored at the prison. No one is happy at the end of this tale.

Sharon · #2 01-19-2015, 07:19 AM

That reads like a Ladybird Book story, hahaha excellent

**kellyhound** · #3 01-19-2015, 07:47 AM

i'm surprised her "friend" didn't rape her afterwards. Guess he was really holding back.

**Vedderman** · #4 01-19-2015, 07:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kellyhound

i'm surprised her "friend" didn't rape her afterwards. Guess he was really holding back.

Man, all he wanted was his bike back. I doubt he could even sport wood with the wheels MIA as they were. Too much anxiety.

jesuswept · #5 01-19-2015, 09:05 AM

Bitch traded it for crack!!!!!!

DiabloLucky13 · #6 01-19-2015, 11:14 AM

Every Brazil story should be written like that! Awesome!

**Vedderman** · #7 01-19-2015, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jesuswept

Bitch traded it for crack!!!!!!

A rather astute assumption, I must say.

gimlet · #8 01-19-2015, 11:55 AM

Don't fuck with a man's ride...

laal · #9 01-19-2015, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vedderman

No one is happy at the end of this tale.

Everyone who read this tale is happy.

tbone79 · #10 01-19-2015, 01:42 PM

Which brings me to my next point - DON'T...SMOKE...CRACK
- Lawrence Taylor

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