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#1
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11-22-2013, 04:10 AM
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 Curmudgeonly Jackwagon Poster Rank:185 Country Trash Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 8,307
Contributions: 285
8,307Posts 88,751Thanked 3,680Quoted 198Mentioned 285Contrib. |
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Heavy Metal Drummer Ends Marriage with a .32
Aging heavy metal drummer for the legendary Brazilian band 'AX' decided he was fed up with his ex-wife, a 33 year old nurse. So he hopped upon his heavy metal bicycle and pedaled over to their marital home, from which he had been living separately for about 2 months. An altercation began in the bedroom, with fierce yelling by both parties, according to neighbors. No one intervened, largely because all witnesses said this sort of fighting had been normal for the couple for the entirety of their marriage. Anyway, at some point the argument took a turn and he clocked her upside the head with some sort of solid object. The weapon has not yet been identified, but my guess is a bass guitar borrowed from one of his hairband buddies. The nurse staggered out of the room, screaming for help, bleeding from the head, and trying to corral the couple's 3 year old son, who was witness to all of the proceedings. The neighbors allegedly started to mobilize to her aid, but were deterred by sudden gunfire. Apparently, The Mad Drummer shot her in the back with his .32 as she tried to escape out the front door. He then grabbed his son, ran outside, and handed the kiddo off to a terrified neighbor, instructing her to watch him carefully and he would return for him soon. According to the neighbor, the Lars Ulrich wannabe's last words were "Don't blame me, the bitch deserved it!" He then hopped back on his bicycle and pedaled off. When the police arrived, they found the nurse's corpse near the front door, with head lacerations and a fatal bullet wound in the back.  ·  ·  ·  ·  ·  · |
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#2
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11-22-2013, 04:40 AM
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 My Rank: MASTER SERGEANT Poster Rank:516 female Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 2,023 2,023Posts 999Thanked 139Quoted 0Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Heavy Metal Drummer Ends Marriage with a .32
Jesus Christ, that is a lot of blood. I think she was drained dry.
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#3
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11-22-2013, 05:51 AM
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 ***** Cat Poster Rank:290 Female Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 4,578
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4,578Posts 5,296Thanked 2,595Quoted 35Mentioned 4Contrib. |
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Re: Heavy Metal Drummer Ends Marriage with a .32
At least it makes for a good story. "This one time, at band camp..."  |
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#4
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11-22-2013, 07:52 AM
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 Devient Poster Rank:266 Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 5,270
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5,270Posts 5,491Thanked 591Quoted 1Mentioned 1Contrib. |
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Re: Heavy Metal Drummer Ends Marriage with a .32
Maybe the drummer can get some "axheads" to clean up the mess in exchange for tickets to see AX perform sans the drummer.
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#5
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11-22-2013, 08:35 AM
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 ★ Legacy Member ★ Poster Rank:21 MAN Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 61,049 61,049Posts 25,720Thanked 37,482Quoted 825Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Heavy Metal Drummer Ends Marriage with a .32
What an asshole.  Poor kid. |
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#8
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11-22-2013, 01:01 PM
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 My Rank: SERGEANT MAJOR Poster Rank:308 Male Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 4,207 4,207Posts 4,731Thanked 419Quoted 1Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Heavy Metal Drummer Ends Marriage with a .32
For real! The kid suffers most, out of all this.
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#10
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11-22-2013, 01:19 PM
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 My Rank: MASTER GUNNERY SERGEANT Poster Rank:328 male Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 3,951 3,951Posts 5,479Thanked 409Quoted 3Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Heavy Metal Drummer Ends Marriage with a .32
oh now I get the meaning of the band's name  "bullet for my valentine"
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