The Black Cat Strikes

[Vedderman]

This is the story of Victor, better known in his locale as EL GATO ***** (or The Black Cat).

Victor was a crazy kind of cat with an eye for the ladies. How he got his charming moniker we can only speculate (perhaps his alluring moustache?), but who could deny his charm? Nothing moisturizes the ladies' underpants like a sly ol' black cat, just cattin around and doin his thing.

At least that's how it was for Fran. Fran was a 37 year old woman with a troubled marriage. Her man wasn't satisfying her at home with his own gordita, so she had to look elsewhere to get her field plowed. And, of course, who better to scratch that itch than ol' Gato ***** himself?

So 2012 is a summer of love, with Frannie getting tits-deep in cat scratch fever and ol' Gato giving it to her as only the king of cats can do. But when autumn comes and the harvest time nears, poor little Fran gets a clearer head and decides to fix up her marriage. And so she does. And all is well.

Until this week, when ol' Gato ***** decides that one year without Fran is one too many. He downs a few cervezas and comes calling while the hubby is at work,, hoping to rekindle the old flame. But Frannie ain't got time for that shit. She gives the whole spiel about wedding vows and regrets, loves' labors lost, and strawberry wine. However you couch the phrasing, Gato was rebuffed.

And nobody brushes off The Black Cat. So how does he respond? That's right. He grabs for the first thing at hand, which happens to be a rusty crowbar. Which he uses to brain his erstwhile ladylove. She falls to the floor, twitching and convulsing, and pissing her pants as is customary for a serious head wound and Gato decides to finish the job.

By slitting her throat, then dumping the bloodied knife into a beautiful watermelon-themed candy dish on the table, and running for the hills.

El Gato ***** is still at large and cattin around in some other town.

[dwencl]

LOL!! The story was hilarious... I was eyeballing my black kitty. Then I realized it wasnt about a kitty. Dude kind of looks like a cat though.

[jbell0129]

hopefully that cat will get run over.

[FavaBeans]

I was like is this story about...

[FavaBeans]

They dhould go..."Here kitty kitty!...and him

[Sharon]

Nothing moisturizes the ladies' underpants like a sly ol' black cat, just cattin around and doin his thing.

[Shakey]

[FavaBeans]

And one more thing...he`s fugly

[gimlet]

I have the same looking crowbar, never hit anyone with it, no latin passion in me I guess...

[Pyramid_Head]

That was the info of the year!