[BryanXavier]

Searching for 2 Fucking Great Developers ($115k - $140k / yr) (San Diego)

compensation: Starting Salary Range: $115,000 - $140,000 / yr + Medical + Dental + Stock Options + Relocation

If you're a great fucking developer who wants to make a bunch of money working somewhere awesome then keep reading. We're a San Diego Tech Company (relocation covered for the right candidates) that's looking for not one but two awesome developers. So digest this ad, accept your fate, and take one last lap around your office to say goodbye to your friends because you're about to upgrade.



The Pay:
Starting Salary Range: $115,000 - $140,000 / yr + Medical + Dental + Stock Options + Relocation costs up to $2,500

The Job:
Our current stack runs on Scala, Java, MongoDB, Redis, Bootstrap, Play Framework, Guice, and AngularJS. If you think you can handle that shit, then it'd be fucking awesome if you also knew SQL. Mostly looks great but you've never touched Scala or MongoDB? That happens, so fucking check them out and include a blurb with your job app with why you're excited to fucking learn and use them.

What You'll Be Doing:
This quarter you'll be adding kick ass new features to our already massively successful products. Afterwards depending on your ability, interests, and attitude you'll be working on any number of projects like new products, internal tools, improving our already fucking great scalable architecture, or skunk works machine learning data analysis for new product R&D.

On Leaving Whatever The Fuck You're Doing Now:
Don't fucking worry about it. They'll find somebody else and you'll be off balling with a fresh start. It doesn't matter if you have a great job, shit job, or you're marathon'ing through X-Files on Netflix while collecting unemployment. Mulder and Scully will be right where you left them, and your ex-coworkers will stay in touch too but honestly fuck 'em, you'll have new, better friends.

The People:
I promised new friends didn't I? We have boys, we have girls, we have kite surfers, we have regular surfers, we have video game fanatics, we have clubbers (night clubs, not seals), we have a Scottish guy, we have a Serbian girl, we have movie nerds, we have board game nerds, we have regular nerds, we have musicians, and we have somebody out this week for Coachella. Look, the fact is we can fill whatever type of friendship void you have.

The Environment:
We're on the top floor of a building right next door to a fucking brewery. We have Arcade games (yes we have Mortal Kombat), Pinball, and free fucking water. The floor we are on is filled exclusively with tech startups and we have a huge monthly Werewolf (http://www.games-wiki.org/wiki/Werew...illers_Hollow/) game (beer included) held in our break room comprised of people from all of the companies on the floor, as well as from various other companies downtown.

Company Fucking Meetings:
We celebrate our successes and we've had a lot of them lately, hence the hiring. In the last year alone we've gone on a sailing trip, a downtown scavenger hunt, frisbee golfing, kart racing, and more. Next up? Not sure but it's always a group decision. . .Laser tag, paintball, movies, or even repeats of things we've done and enjoyed are all on the table. How about you fucking suggest something?

Hiring Process:

1) You e-mail us the shit requested in this job ad.
2) We video skype and figure out if you know what you said you know.
3) You come meet the team for a vibe check.
4) Tell everybody about how great your fucking life just became because you're super fucking hired.

Good Ideas:
Send us some self assessed scores for the job requirements listed above. -- Don't you fucking bullshit us, we're going to find out during the Skype call so don't waste your time or ours. I'm fucking serious if you're thinking about putting a 9/10 for Javascript and you don't know what a closure is you're responding to the wrong ad. -- Answer honestly, maybe we don't give as many fucks about Javascript as you think so 6/10 is fine.
E-mail us an excerpt of some code you've written that you're proud of. -- Tell us why out of all the shit code you've written in your life you decided to send us that.
Type something to us. Anything. Tell us something about yourself. -- This section will not be graded.

You're Doing It Wrong:
Shit I have to go read through my notes on algorithm efficiency and study up on logic brain teasers. -- Nope.
I need to update my resume. -- Nah, if it's out of date just put NEEDS updating.
I better get my interview clothes dry cleaned. -- Slow your roll, after the e-mail screen it's a Skype video call.

P.S. Share this shit. Don't be worried about friends or coworkers stealing your job, there are two fucking jobs open. Maybe even more if we find people that we can't pass up.

P.P.S. We do not encourage or display profanity levels above the social norm in the work place. As such, profanity will not be accepted in lieu of skill.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
do NOT contact us with unsolicited services or offers

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/sof/4982493312.html

[spudigitti]

Application in the mail...

[WindBag]

sounds awesome but I am only good at cursing lmfao

[Pyramid_Head]

This is exactly how my application would look if I was hiring.

[Shakey]

Not enough money for Socal cost of living.