[SneakySniper169]

My month always starts the same, Go down to Mexico and I fill my prescription for secobarbital commonly referred to as red devils. Then I go to my dealer who gives the pills to people who are trying to commit suicide. He tells them to drink half a fifth of hard liquor and they will slowly drift into a sleep that lasts forever. I do this every month and I get a fat stack of cash except this month was different. When I swallowed the pills the condom broke.

I felt myself start to lose consciousness and before I passed out I was able to call 911. When the ambulance came they had no Idea what was happening to me. I got to the hospital where they took my blood work and saw a massive dose of secobarbital. The problem was the fact that once you take this drug there is no coming back. If you take too much you will die and there is no way to save you.

I died several times that night until I really faded away. You don't go over to another side when you first die. It takes several minutes until your body is at the point of no return. When I died I went nowhere at first and there was only a sense of peace and calm and slowly it started to get worse and worse. I began to sink into this pit of despair and I kept hearing the sounds of people crying and weeping.

after several moments of this, I hear the voice of God. He told me that all of this was your doing, you did it to yourself. He told me that several people had died from the medication that I was bringing over the border. He told me that the dealer I was selling it too was sold to young kids. Some not even 10 yet. Here I thought all of the people would be cancer patients and people who were just sick of life but it was being sold to anyone who wanted to try these red devils.

Then I was thrown into the gates of hell. Looking up I saw all of the people I have killed looking down at me. As I walked into the gates I knew what was approaching was going to be my fate for the rest of my life, It was unavoidable but I couldn't escape it. I couldn't go anywhere, There was nowhere to go. I felt a terror like I have never felt before in my life. As I started walking I heard these voices of laughing evilly and screams of other souls who have walked this path for thousands of years, I knew I was going to be one of those screaming in a short while though I couldn't fight it.

There was nothing to fight. Then all of a sudden I came back to life. I was in a cold box in the hospitals mortuary. Since then I chose to work a real job and I have given most of my money to charitable causes. I know what may await me but I still have a chance to change that path. All I know is I don't want to go back.

Authors note
If you or anyone you know wants to commit suicide there are people there for you. I do on a daily bases but I know how devastating it would be to my family, That is the only reason I am still here. On another note, if you want to reach out to me I will never judge because I experience the hell that is depression on a daily basis. You have my account.