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WRITING:Nothing New : Free Verse

Nothing New : Free Verse 

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  #1  
06-09-2019, 01:00 PM
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Nothing New : Free Verse

Copyright 2018
by SMS

NOTHING NEW


What good are all the lashes
We endure beneath the sun?
Another generation passes
While a "new" one has begun.

But the sun still rises,
And the sun goes down,
Bringing with it no suprises
As it hurries back around.

As the water falling splashes
Into where the rivers run,
On the shore a new wave crashes;
Storms unleash on everyone.

And the wind still rises,
But the wind dies down,
And there still are no surprises
When it hurries back around.
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  #2  
06-10-2019, 07:40 AM
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Re: Nothing New : Free Verse

If you're going to one-star a thread in here, at least have the balls to leave a critique.
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  #3  
06-11-2019, 09:27 AM
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Re: Nothing New : Free Verse

Or not. Fucking coward.
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  #4  
06-21-2019, 11:25 AM
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Re: Nothing New : Free Verse

Oh, it's just you. Never mind.
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  #5  
06-21-2019, 12:53 PM
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Re: Nothing New : Free Verse

Here’s my critique.
The elements of this earth and in the story you tell exist, they do not have bad intentions. They are not unjust. They just are.
The human in his small mind and short time spent enduring the elements, believes he must hurry. Why?
Hurry, hurry, Die.
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  #6  
06-22-2019, 09:32 AM
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Re: Nothing New : Free Verse

Here’s my critique.
The elements of this earth and in the story you tell exist, they do not have bad intentions. They are not unjust. They just are.
The human in his small mind and short time spent enduring the elements, believes he must hurry. Why?
Hurry, hurry, Die.
Yes. All is vanity and a chasing after wind.
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  #7  
06-26-2019, 03:31 PM
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Re: Nothing New : Free Verse

If you're going to one-star a thread in here, at least have the balls to leave a critique.
I didn't one-star the thread. Eating a thread hasn't worked for me in at least 6 months. Critique? Sure. What you wrote was akin to something the average 7th grader would write. Nothing interesting, insightful, and certainly nothing original.
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  #8  
06-26-2019, 04:04 PM
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Re: Nothing New : Free Verse

I didn't one-star the thread. Eating a thread hasn't worked for me in at least 6 months. Critique? Sure. What you wrote was akin to something the average 7th grader would write. Nothing interesting, insightful, and certainly nothing original.
Thanks. Your detailed analysis and constructive assessment will allow me to improve my skills as a writer.

cri·tique
/kriˈtēk/

noun
1.
a detailed analysis and assessment of something, especially a literary, philosophical, or political theory.
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  #9  
06-28-2019, 02:43 PM
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Re: Nothing New : Free Verse

I didn't know this was DeviantArt?

Shame Anal isn't here still (or is he?) because I would have been delighted to have informed him that I rated his thread one star without reading his poem.
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  #10  
06-28-2019, 02:59 PM
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Re: Nothing New : Free Verse

I didn't know this was DeviantArt?

Shame Anal isn't here still (or is he?) because I would have been delighted to have informed him that I rated his thread one star without reading his poem.
You're not the only one. I'm the one he was whinging about, muhaha!
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