[DiamondSmiles]

Originally Posted by Shakey ↗

I must be lucky. I seem to be able to practice moderation.

Alcoholics cannot do that. One drink is too many.

I was never big on any drugs or alcohol. I wanted to remember what I did and with whom ;)

I didn't want to lose my good skin or teeth.

[rob666]

So what's the best way to approach a person that you feel is an alcoholic? I have a friend that is clearly having issues. He drinks every day, and is starting to have health issues related to it. He misses a lot of work, and recently had a DUI..... The problem seems to be that he doesn't realize that he has a problem.

So how do you express concern without alienating someone?

[DiamondSmiles]

Originally Posted by rob666 ↗

So what's the best way to approach a person that you feel is an alcoholic? I have a friend that is clearly having issues. He drinks every day, and is starting to have health issues related to it. He misses a lot of work, and recently had a DUI..... The problem seems to be that he doesn't realize that he has a problem.

So how do you express concern without alienating someone?

There is no right or wrong way. They have to make that choice, unless one of the now sober people wish to comment on this.

I know nothing worked on any of my brothers. Not being kind, not tough love. Nothing!

They probably need to hit rock bottom and hopefully, survive it.

At least, that has been my experience. The problem I see with long term alcoholics, is having to give up their friends and places they frequent.

They can go to support groups, but, some people don't like to talk in front of strangers.

They have to want to change.

[30564U]

There was a guy in Newport Beach, CA who had been arrested like a thousand times for various alcohol related charges over a period of twenty years. It got so bad, the coppers pitched in and sent him to Hawaii on a one way ticket. When the coppers in Hawaii found out what happened they sent him back. This guy was such a legend in Newport Beach and surrounding cities, one of the Newport Beach PD's Jailers actually made a great video documenting this guy's history and sad alcoholic journey. I don't remember the name of the video, but I'm sure you guys can find it. The poor guy finally died about three years ago, face down, in his own vomit. A sad sad thing to have happen.

[30564U]

Here's the web site http://www.DEFIANTLOVE.com/ that shows the whole story. Every school kid needs to see this video...very powerful.

[Desensitisation]

I remember one person I knew. Cared about them a lot, and even considered having a more serious relationship with them. But they had substance abuse issues, amongst other things. Wake-and-bake, hitting the booze before noon, and completely and utterly oblivious to things that really were common sense to someone not prone to hurting themselves. In the end, I had to walk away from them because their self-destructive tendencies would have ruined my life as well. Don't know what happened to them after that.

[DiamondSmiles]

Originally Posted by Desensitisation ↗

I remember one person I knew. Cared about them a lot, and even considered having a more serious relationship with them. But they had substance abuse issues, amongst other things. Wake-and-bake, hitting the booze before noon, and completely and utterly oblivious to things that really were common sense to someone not prone to hurting themselves. In the end, I had to walk away from them because their self-destructive tendencies would have ruined my life as well. Don't know what happened to them after that.

It's hard thing to do.

My brothers were all good guys, but, things went wrong. One had everything a person could want and was sober for 10 years or so.

They couldn't handle life or their pain anymore. I used to think it was the cowards' way out, but, I know the last to go missed his brothers and my father terribly, his social security was cut off because he didn't return the papers every 3 or 4 months. It was an account in my mother's name, but, she had a stroke in 2004 and couldn't fill them out herself.

Everything became too hard for him to do. He had an excuse for everything. He had friends and his kids saying they would stand in line for him at welfare, when necessary. Even the security guard said she'd hold his place.

At Social Security, you only sign in and seat yourself. Everything you have ever given them is copied into the computer now.

His kids and grandchildren weren't enough.

It's very sad to be so helpless and on the outside watching them destroy themselves.

[Kelseecat65]

Originally Posted by 30564U ↗

There was a guy in Newport Beach, CA who had been arrested like a thousand times for various alcohol related charges over a period of twenty years. It got so bad, the coppers pitched in and sent him to Hawaii on a one way ticket. When the coppers in Hawaii found out what happened they sent him back. This guy was such a legend in Newport Beach and surrounding cities, one of the Newport Beach PD's Jailers actually made a great video documenting this guy's history and sad alcoholic journey. I don't remember the name of the video, but I'm sure you guys can find it. The poor guy finally died about three years ago, face down, in his own vomit. A sad sad thing to have happen.

Was he called Boston James? There was a guy who hung out at OB, sounds just like him. Sadly though, there are so many of them out there.

[30564U]

His name was Mark David Allen. There's more to the story, but I don't remember the specifics of his past. He was a character.

[DiamondSmiles]

Mark David Allen is the subject of another movie. He died of heart disease at 50.

Sounds like the name of a serial killer. Many have three names.

Subject of 'Drunk in Public' Died of Heart Disease

Coroner releases report on Mark David Allen, 50, who was homeless in Newport Beach and the subject of a documentary chronicling his years of arrests.

May 31, 2012

By Joseph Serna

Decades of alcohol abuse and living on the streets took a severe toll on the body of a Newport Beach homeless man found dead earlier this year, an Orange County Sheriff-Coroner report shows.

Mark David Allen, 50, had an enlarged heart, liver disease and showed signs from past medical issues when he died in the early hours of February 1, at 43rd Street and Seashore Drive in Newport Beach.

His cause of death was listed as heart disease.

"He died kind of like a 70 or 80 year-old man in his sleep, but he did it 20 or 30 years earlier because of what alcohol did to his system," said David Sperling, a custody officer with Newport Beach police who documented Allen's years of arrests and alcohol abuse.

Allen grew up in Newport and remained a fixture in the community until his death. Sperling recorded Allen's slide into the depths of alcoholism in the award-winning documentary, "Drunk in Public," which tracked the surfer's hundreds of arrests over more than 15 years in Southern California and a brief stint in Hawaii.

A toxicology report showed that Allen had no drugs or alcohol in his body when he died.

Allen was known to have a seizure after as few as six hours without alcohol, Sperling said, adding that he was as predictable medicalwise as any arrestee he has seen.

"The reality is, he died totally sober yet he didn't have any withdrawal issues," Sperling said. "It's totally fascinating."

Officers were talking with Allen hours before his death and reported that he was sober and in a good mood, bellowing out songs as he was known to do, Sperling said.

After his death, locals remembered Allen as, at times, affable or belligerent. But, to thousands of rehab workers and addicts across the country who saw, "Drunk in Public," but, never met him personally, Allen was a cautionary tale.

joseph.serna@latimes.com