When we were flying over to India, I had this overwhelming Indian feeling inside of me - "Im the most Indian man, ever". I just thought I was so Indian you know. We arrived at Bombay I was yelling at the flight attendant "OPEN THE DOORS TO THIS PLANE. Let me out to my Indian people. LET ME SHOW THOSE INDIANS, WHAT IT IS TO BE INDIAN."
She opened the doors to that plane I turned Canadian SO FAST."
I am SO.. *sniff* *sniff*.." (smelling the surroundings, smelling himself). "Did I step in shit just now?". When you arrive in India, the minute they open the doors to that plane, you get an overwhelming BLAST of shit smell right up your nose. Its almost as if they hired someone to shit in front of every plane that lands. "Quick, quick, here comes one. Shit, shit and go, SHIT and GO. Go, go, go".
And if you are an Indian person out there, thinking to yourself "Thats not true, thats not true" then fuck you, you probably had a cold or landed in the wrong country.
Russell Peters