*UPDATE* Harrisburg Mother Said She Didn't Know Son Was Dead Upstairs.

[Spiffyfable]

Don't Do Drugs

[RealityUnfolding]

I'm going to preface this with saying I do NOT agree with how the kid was treated, how he died or what he lived with but as a parent of special needs, I think people should probably understand a few things. What I'm writing isn't a defense of THIS case - just in general because some people don't get how easy it is to miss things. And Dad is fucking horrific for leaving the kid dead... just disgusting.


The state of this room is deplorable but it is NOT uncommon for parents like me to fight the ever staining, ever present feces all over the place. When a child likes to smear (though mine isn't autistic, my support groups have children with huge ranges of disability), an autistic child may have a deep obsession with the texture OR the taste of it. My child went through this stage for a short time and let me tell you, there isn't cleaner in this world that get get all the flecks and pieces out of pinhole places in the walls or textured walls. It could take hours to clean up the damage inflicted in 10 minutes by one mess. I'd end up having to sand the whole wall down before repainting because you can't just cover it up either. Shit is worse than asbestos.

If the children all had different mental health issues, I'm curious as to whether they were adopted or natural born. Usually, in cases where there are multiple special needs, there is at least some common diagnoses. Maybe she drank or did drugs to combine with genetic issues, I don't know but I'm willing to bet these weren't all their natural kids. If they are, I'd be investigating her prenatal records and having the kids tested and x-rays for signs of physical abuse.

When you do get multiple kids with special needs, it's also not uncommon to divide and conquer (though this is extreme, it's also a newspaper reporter who is inferring some things about her so I hesitate to really know if they included or misinterpreted something). When my child was manic and trying to kill theirself, my spouse was stronger to deal with it and no, I didn't see my kid for a few days until their new PRN's were filled by a psychiatric doctor. I dealt with the other kids and the spouse dealt with the one.

As for a special needs kid being underweight - again, that wouldn't be all that shocking. Certain anti-psychotics cause weight loss, others cause weight gain, some side effects are dehydration/diuretic, some are water retention. Their diagnoses alone may make it difficult to gain weight (you'd be surprised how many mentally ill kids can metabolize meds in minutes, we actually now have DNA testing to give us a list of what meds they won't metabolize like candy). Risperdal is the first line of defense against most mental illnesses and most people have probably already heard of the lawyer commercials for "gynocomastia" - developing breasts. Sadly, lawyers are ready to prey on parents like me but when it's a choice of your kids getting breast tissue or flinging themselves off a dresser, out a window, etc. then there's a risk/reward here...

In any event, there's a lot of things that happen in our lives that outsiders would think is abuse. For example, one parent lost their child because they had bruises on their wrist... what DFCS decided not to listen to from the parents, the school, the caregivers, the doctors and the therapists is that this kid was into serious self-harm and they would have to restrain his wrists (and of course, anything material to restrain kids is generally considered abuse too...) to keep him from scratching his eyes out or choking himself during a "meltdown".

[RealityUnfolding]

BTW, Fragile X is genetic so likely the mother, might explain her passivity or odd behavior to an extent. She is mentally ill herself.

[diamondsmiles]

Originally Posted by RealityUnfolding

I'm going to preface this with saying I do NOT agree with how the kid was treated, how he died or what he lived with but as a parent of special needs, I think people should probably understand a few things. What I'm writing isn't a defense of THIS case - just in general because some people don't get how easy it is to miss things. And Dad is fucking horrific for leaving the kid dead... just disgusting.


The state of this room is deplorable but it is NOT uncommon for parents like me to fight the ever staining, ever present feces all over the place. When a child likes to smear (though mine isn't autistic, my support groups have children with huge ranges of disability), an autistic child may have a deep obsession with the texture OR the taste of it. My child went through this stage for a short time and let me tell you, there isn't cleaner in this world that get get all the flecks and pieces out of pinhole places in the walls or textured walls. It could take hours to clean up the damage inflicted in 10 minutes by one mess. I'd end up having to sand the whole wall down before repainting because you can't just cover it up either. Shit is worse than asbestos.

If the children all had different mental health issues, I'm curious as to whether they were adopted or natural born. Usually, in cases where there are multiple special needs, there is at least some common diagnoses. Maybe she drank or did drugs to combine with genetic issues, I don't know but I'm willing to bet these weren't all their natural kids. If they are, I'd be investigating her prenatal records and having the kids tested and x-rays for signs of physical abuse.

When you do get multiple kids with special needs, it's also not uncommon to divide and conquer (though this is extreme, it's also a newspaper reporter who is inferring some things about her so I hesitate to really know if they included or misinterpreted something). When my child was manic and trying to kill theirself, my spouse was stronger to deal with it and no, I didn't see my kid for a few days until their new PRN's were filled by a psychiatric doctor. I dealt with the other kids and the spouse dealt with the one.

As for a special needs kid being underweight - again, that wouldn't be all that shocking. Certain anti-psychotics cause weight loss, others cause weight gain, some side effects are dehydration/diuretic, some are water retention. Their diagnoses alone may make it difficult to gain weight (you'd be surprised how many mentally ill kids can metabolize meds in minutes, we actually now have DNA testing to give us a list of what meds they won't metabolize like candy). Risperdal is the first line of defense against most mental illnesses and most people have probably already heard of the lawyer commercials for "gynocomastia" - developing breasts. Sadly, lawyers are ready to prey on parents like me but when it's a choice of your kids getting breast tissue or flinging themselves off a dresser, out a window, etc. then there's a risk/reward here...

In any event, there's a lot of things that happen in our lives that outsiders would think is abuse. For example, one parent lost their child because they had bruises on their wrist... what DFCS decided not to listen to from the parents, the school, the caregivers, the doctors and the therapists is that this kid was into serious self-harm and they would have to restrain his wrists (and of course, anything material to restrain kids is generally considered abuse too...) to keep him from scratching his eyes out or choking himself during a "meltdown".

Wow! Thank you for sharing your story, RealityUnfolding!

I never thought of some of the things you mentioned. As an outsider, it does look and sound like abuse, so I thank you for showing us the other side.

I know parents and grandparents of autistic children, but, all I have heard is they have fits of rage, and in one instance, her 14 year old had a birthday party, but, didn't grasp, "the gift thing." completely.

It was a last minute decision to invite several people and I was low on funds. She said she would give me a gift to give him because he wouldn't notice.

I questioned that. She said he knew the party was for him, but, wouldn't notice whether or not someone had given him anything.

She also didn't want to bring him in my house because she didn't know how he would act in a strange place.

Thank you again for sharing and allowing me to hear the other side.

I am sorry you had to experience these issues first hand. (((hugs)) <3

[diamondsmiles]

Originally Posted by RealityUnfolding

BTW, Fragile X is genetic so likely the mother, might explain her passivity or odd behavior to an extent. She is mentally ill herself.

The first time I heard of Fragile X, was during the Chris Benoit case.

I met Nancy once when she was married to Kevin Sullivan and she was a sweetheart and very soft spoken.

I guess people could target them as victims.

Another point of view I hadn't thought of.

[RealityUnfolding]

Just wanted to toss in some updates other info here that make this case very chilling.

This was CBS full interview with the mother just after it happened.
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One of the more... intriguing parts comes around 2:30 about the girl having brain damage, getting it when she was 3. What we can surmise now, was probably at the hands of her parents.

In September, after another autopsy, BOTH parents were charged. It gets more disturbing...

HARRISBURG, Pa. —The parents of a 9-year-old boy who was found dead in a Harrisburg home in August are being charged with criminal homicide.
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The child, Jarrod Tutko Jr., who suffered from an intellectual disability, died in late July. Starvation and dehydration contributed to his death, according to the coroner.

The child's father and mother, Jarrod Tutko Sr. and Kimberly Tutko, will be charged in the boy's death.

Officials said the room where the boy had been living was filthy and deplorable. They also said the child had been dead several days before police found him and that his father knew, but did not tell anyone.

New court documents also indicate that the couple had a history of moving to avoid scrutiny of abuse. At a Monday afternoon news conference, Dauphin County District Attorney Ed Marsico said the boy weighed less than 17 pounds and lived in a locked room with no beds, lights or air conditioning. Marsico said they boy had to sleep in his own waste.

"To think of this young boy in that room, day in and day out, locked in there like an animal, really left to fend without food, without nourishment, it's as horrific a case as we can imagine for someone that innocent," Marsico said.

The Tutko's have six children together, and according to court documents, they reportedly moved from Schuylkill County to New Jersey to avoid scrutiny. The Tutkos received nearly $3,200 every month in welfare assistance, which included hundreds of dollars in food stamps.

The Tutkos five other children are now in the care of the county.

Marsico says he'll investigate how Dauphin County Children and Youth Service handled the Tutko case once they moved to Harrisburg. The agency issued the following statement Tuesday morning:

"Pennsylvania confidentiality laws prevent Children & Youth from discussing any details related to this or any other case. We can’t comment further regarding an ongoing criminal case.

Children & Youth Services continues to cooperate fully with the District Attorney and the ongoing investigations and remains committed to protecting the safety and well-being of children."

[RealityUnfolding]

It gets worse... she actually had TEN children.

Both of Jarrod Tutko Jr.’s parents are now behind bars at Dauphin County Prison, charged with criminal homicide.

Jarrod Tutko Sr. was arrested after the boy’s body was found decomposing in their home on Green Street in Harrisburg on August 1st. Now his mother, Kimberly Tutko, is also facing charges. She was arrested on Monday.

“This was a horrific tragedy for the young man to suffer the way that he suffered,” says Chief Thomas Carter of Harrisburg Police. “My 27 years on this job, I have never seen a worse crime scene that what we witnessed at the house.”

Police say Kimberly Tutko had a history of neglect and abuse in New Jersey. She had four older children, in addition to the six involved in this case.

“There had been injuries to a baby of hers and her parental rights were later- were terminated at some point, as well as her parental rights to other children,” says District Attorney Ed Marsico.

Jarrod was 9 years old and had Fragile X Syndrome, a genetic disorder with autism-like symptoms.
Police say he spent time in foster care as a baby because of a pending child neglect issue with his older sister.

After the family moved to Harrisburg in 2005, he was returned to them. But New Jersey Dept. of Family and Youth Services officials contacted Dauphin County Child and Youth Services to flag concerns about his parents.

The Coroner says Jarrod died of starvation and neglect. He weighed 16 pounds. The D.A. also says he was in pain because he had abscessed teeth, and allegedly never had dental care.

When Kimberly Tutko spoke to FOX43 last month, she broke down in tears and said the children had been her world (Jarrod’s siblings were removed from the home).

But police say she told them she had seen Jarrod in his room days before his death and she knew the conditions he lived in.

“She knew his room had no bed, the lights didn’t work, she knew the lock was reversed, and she knew there was feces smeared about the room,” says Marsico.

Police say Dauphin County CYS received two more warnings about the family. An anonymous tip on the Child Abuse Hotline brought a caseworker to the home last October.

The report says she did not go up to Jarrod’s room; his father brought him down. His head was wet and Tutko Sr. said it was because he had poured something on himself.

Two weeks later, Jarrod’s 12-year-old brother had a follow-up visit with a caseworker at school. He said his father had lied, and washed Jarrod off before bringing him down.

“A sibling of Jarrod told Children and Youth workers at one point that ‘His dad doesn’t care about Jarrod Junior anymore,'” says Marsico.

[RealityUnfolding]

And his death - might have saved his sister's life.

They also pleaded not guilty a few weeks ago.

HARRISBURG – A Harrisburg couple pleaded not guilty to criminal homicide and other charges in the starvation death of their 9-year-old son.

Jarrod Tutko Sr., 38, and Kimberly Tutko, 39, did not speak during their formal arraignment Thursday in Dauphin County Court, but entered the pleas through their attorneys.

The couple are being held without bail in the death of Jarrod Tutko Jr.

Police found the boy’s decomposing body Aug. 1 in the family’s home at 2119 Green Street. An autopsy showed he died of malnutrition and neglect and weighed less than 17 pounds.

Prosecutors said the couple kept the mentally disabled child locked in a feces-smeared third-floor room with no bed and no working lights. He suffered from Fragile X Syndrome, a genetic condition that causes a range of developmental problems including learning disabilities and cognitive impairment.

According to charging documents, Mr. Tutko told police he found his son dead on the night of July 29, two days after he last checked on the boy, but kept it from his wife until she smelled the decomposing body.

Prosecutors pointed out at a preliminary hearing Oct. 30 that the couple received $710 a month in government assistance for the boy’s care, and would not have received a check in August if the boy had died prior to the first day of the month.

The couple’s five other children are in protective custody. Investigators said one of the children, a 10-year-old girl, was hours from death the night they were called to the home.

The district attorney’s office is not seeking the death penalty.

HuffPo's version:

HARRISBURG, Pa., Dec 18 (Reuters) - A Pennsylvania mother and father accused of letting their 9-year-old disabled son starve to death last summer entered pleas of not guilty on Thursday.

Jarrod Tutko, 38, and Kimberly Tutko, 39, appeared in shackles for their arraignment in the Dauphin County Court of Common Pleas on charges of criminal homicide and endangering the welfare of a child.

The couple is accused in the August death of their son, Jarrod Tutko Jr., who suffered from Fragile X Syndrome, a form of autism.

Police arrested the father on Aug. 1 after finding the boy's decomposing body in a feces-smeared bedroom of their Harrisburg home. The child weighed 17 pounds, according to the county coroner.

Kimberly Tutko, who called police, said her husband told her the boy had been dead for days and that she had been unaware because she was caring for another child on another floor of their four-bedroom duplex.

The father also is charged with abuse of a corpse and concealing the death of a child.

He told police he discovered his son died on July 29 but withheld the news from his wife until she noticed the smell of decomposition two days later.

The husband and wife did not look at each other as they entered the courtroom, and Kimberly Tutko wept as she spoke with her defense attorney, according to PennLive.com, the website of the Harrisburg Patriot-News.

He has been in jail since his August arrest, and she has been jailed since her arrest in late September.

Five other children the couple had together have been in protective custody since the arrests, and four children Kimberly Tutko had with another man previously were taken away by the courts.

If convicted of the homicide charge, they face the possibility of life in prison.

[RealityUnfolding]

And last update I'll post (sorry for the multiple posting, there was a lot of info and one post would max out).

The little boy's step brothers (the ones taken away from her) and their adoptive families attended a memorial service, paid for by an outside group because the mother never claimed the boys ashes. (snipped to remove redundancy)

Jarrod Tutko Jr.'s remains were laid to rest nearly three months after police found the 9-year-old's decomposing body in his parents Harrisburg home.

The head of the organization that helped arrange the burial confirmed Sunday Tutko's ashes were interred during a service in the Harrisburg area Oct. 31.

Two of Tutko's siblings and their foster families attended the service; one sibling was too ill to attend, said Janice Black, president and CEO of The Foundation for Enhancing Communities. The boy's step brothers and their adoptive family also attended, Black said.

"He was buried in a lovely, private funeral ceremony on Friday, Oct. 31," she said. "He is now at peace."

When news spread that Tutko's mother, Kimberly Tutko, never claimed her child's remains, the foundation launched a fundraiser so Jarrod Tutko Jr. would not be buried in a Dauphin County cemetery for the indigent.

The private service was made possible through donations, and a headstone will mark Jarrod Tutko Jr.'s final resting place, Black said.

Representatives from the county coroner's office, district attorney's office and Children and Youth attended. Several others associated with the planning of the funeral were there, including Black.

The funeral was kept private to prevent the service from turning into a show, due to the controversy surrounding the tragic death, Black said.

[commondenom]

holy crap!!! she's 39!!!!! she looks 60 to me