[Faline]

If you can pay someone to help you get a date, then who says you can’t do the same when you want to dump them? Meet Jonathan Kiekbusch from Brighton, U.K., the 21-year-old who has managed to make a living out of breaking-up for others. Not surprisingly, he’s single himself.

Jonathan doesn’t charge the sun and moon for his services. You can avail them at a flat fee of £5 ($8) plus expenses. If he puts in more time, it’s at £20 an hour. Not so bad when you consider the prospect of facing your girlfriend/boyfriend, having to tell them you’re not so in to them anymore. Again, not surprisingly, most of Jonathan’s clients are male.

Of course, this isn’t his only job. Marketing executive by day, and relationship-breaker by night, Jonathan got into the profession when he realized his potential by helping a few friends. His first time was with a friend called Stuart, who was always fighting with his girlfriend. One night he spoke to the two of them during a fight, making them see that they weren’t really suited for each other. The couple parted ways on amiable terms. After a few more of such incidents, Jonathan had to break up with his own girlfriend, and it ended pretty badly. He wished he could have had someone else intervene and make things easier, and that’s when he realized the opportunity that lay before him. He instantly grabbed it.

He wrote out an advert that went something like this: “I will contact your worst half by mail or phone or both and give them the news that it’s O.V.E.R.” He posted this on fivesquids.co.uk, and a few weeks later landed his first assignment. There has been no looking back since. He admits that most women do not take the break up easy. He still remembers his first case, Roger, a 31-year-old who wanted to break up with his girlfriend of 18 months. Jonathan used his ‘break-up phone’ and texted the girl, “Your boyfriend thinks things are coming to an end but he doesn’t know how to talk to you because he cares a lot about you. He asked me to talk to you because he can’t bear doing it himself.” Her reply was pretty straightforward, “He’s a very weak man and so it figures he can’t face up to it!"


He has his rules – for instance, he will never break up with someone who has been cheated on. He interviews clients to get the back story, before he decides to take up the job. According to Jonathan, his task is just to take the heat out of a potentially volatile and upsetting situation. “I believe in love and think people shouldn’t waste their time in a bad relationship,” he says. And for this reason, he believes he is the “voice of reason, for hire.” Sounds more like “helping people stay chicken, for hire”, to me. If you need such a service and can spare £5 ($8), this is his ad:

[thissiteisfuckedup]

hilarious.

[durt]

[Angelahh]

Kinda weak if you gotta call someone to do this for you

[Pogrom]

[Steve]

I think if the guy has to go to those lengths to dump his girlfriend then she is better off without the spineless twat.