Man Sentenced to Probation For Performing Equine Cunnilingus

Arsedestroyer · #1 ● 10-07-2012, 02:00 PM

Perry County, PA – Jeremy Johnson, 20, pleaded guilty on August 13th to defiant trespass and sexual intercourse with an animal. He was sentenced to 2-1/2 years probation and ordered to undergo a mental health evaluation.

What’s so riveting and interesting and fascinating and lovely and winsome about this case is that Johnson did not place his meatstick anywhere near the horse as far as we know. Instead, he opted to lick its vagina; a refreshing relief from all the stories of horses and donkeys receiving what must seem to them to be micro-penises.

When asked if she liked it, the mare gave three taps of her front, right hoof, which is known by horse experts, such as myself, to mean, “It was okay. I mean, not the best I’ve ever had, but you know, human tongues are kinda small, and not quite as strong as horse tongues and, well, I don’t know, I’d let him do it again but I’m not going to go begging or anything. Did I mention that stallions aren’t real keen on cunnilingus?”

As the police report goes, an Outlaw Stables employee suspected a break-in at around 1 AM on May 2, 2012 after the alarm had been tripped. The police were called and Johnson was apprehended. His story was that he’d been at the stables looking for work a bit earlier and hadn’t realized the time. According to police, Johnson told the barn owner he’d had sex with a horse. He told a trooper that he’d been at the barn for an hour and that he’d “licked a horse.”

We might need to call Bill Clinton in to get a precise definition of sex. I understand that he has some experience with oral bestiality as well. I’d like to ask him how one knows when he’s “done” licking a horse.

In any case, in what I am guessing was an effort to avoid any jail time, Johnson pleaded guilty and there’s not much to this story so that’s why I’m rambling a bit. With reference to the mental health evaluation, Perry County D.A. Charles “Chad” Chenot said “I think there is some mental health issue here. There’s got to be something wrong with someone who does something like this.” He told the Patriot-News it’s one of the more bizarre cases he’s ever prosecuted.

Johnson’s lawyer, Barbara Wevodau, refused comment. Smart move