LOCAL JUNKIES REWARDED FOR CHRISTMAS MIRACLE (in Case Ya Missed It )

[Pink.]

In case some of you people did not see this in the News section,......


December 22, 2010

HAMMOND, Louisiana — Two local heroin users were awarded medals at city hall today to celebrate their recent acts of bravery which prevented a potential public relations disaster for Mayor Mayson Foster.

On Saturday afternoon, Hammond’s “Too Lovely To Litter” welcome sign was toppled by a gust of wind from its permanent spot on SW Railroad Avenue, putting the safety of drivers at risk and symbolically ridding the city of its “cleanest city” status.

Raymond LaJuel, 57, of S Spruce Street, and Barry Gutison, 40, of Lee’s Drive In garbage dumpster, were coming off an 8-hour-long heroin high on a public bench about 500 meters away at the time of the incident.

“When the two individuals heard the sign topple over, they proceeded to the area with caution,” read Mayor Foster at the ceremony today. “They headed southbound on Railroad Avenue, crawling on their hands and knees to avoid injury from flying projectiles, and leaving a visible trail of drool to provide emergency responders with a clear, safe route into the disaster zone.”

Half an hour later when the two men reached the sign, LeJuel got into the fetal position, positioning himself in the middle of the highway to divert traffic away from the area, while Gutison stripped down into his underwear next to the railroad track and attempted to flag down an oncoming Amtrak train.

A Hammond police officer arrived at the scene soon after, and he was able to return the sign to its original position.

“This is a Christmas miracle,” proclaimed Foster. “Thanks to these two individuals, Hammond is once again the cleanest city.”

[utley]

The Onion?

[Pink.]

Originally Posted by utley

The Onion?

NO, Utley!!! THAT is actually from our LOCAL Newspaper...

Hammond Action News

[RogueTrader]

Lol wow! And you wonder why the rest of world consider you freaks. Sad times indeed.

[Pink.]

Originally Posted by RogueTrader

Lol wow! And you wonder why the rest of world consider you freaks. Sad times indeed.

It's pathetic.

and don't drive the speed limit..You will be accused of cruising hookers, meth dealers, or just written off as a driver over 80 years old.

[Geemonster]

Originally Posted by Pink.

In case some of you people did not see this in the News section,......


December 22, 2010

HAMMOND, Louisiana — Two local heroin users were awarded medals at city hall today to celebrate their recent acts of bravery which prevented a potential public relations disaster for Mayor Mayson Foster.

On Saturday afternoon, Hammond’s “Too Lovely To Litter” welcome sign was toppled by a gust of wind from its permanent spot on SW Railroad Avenue, putting the safety of drivers at risk and symbolically ridding the city of its “cleanest city” status.

Raymond LaJuel, 57, of S Spruce Street, and Barry Gutison, 40, of Lee’s Drive In garbage dumpster, were coming off an 8-hour-long heroin high on a public bench about 500 meters away at the time of the incident.

“When the two individuals heard the sign topple over, they proceeded to the area with caution,” read Mayor Foster at the ceremony today. “They headed southbound on Railroad Avenue, crawling on their hands and knees to avoid injury from flying projectiles, and leaving a visible trail of drool to provide emergency responders with a clear, safe route into the disaster zone.”

Half an hour later when the two men reached the sign, LeJuel got into the fetal position, positioning himself in the middle of the highway to divert traffic away from the area, while Gutison stripped down into his underwear next to the railroad track and attempted to flag down an oncoming Amtrak train.

A Hammond police officer arrived at the scene soon after, and he was able to return the sign to its original position.

“This is a Christmas miracle,” proclaimed Foster. “Thanks to these two individuals, Hammond is once again the cleanest city.”

Not all Heroin addicts are bad people as this proves

[Black Knight]

Jesus Pink. You know the times are a changing when they are awarding heroin addicts medals (which I am sure they will turn around and sell for more heroin).

[Psychonautical]

Next big Hollywood film script, right here.

[Steve]

Well I just stood on a dog turd, where are those junkies when you need them.

[Black Knight]

Originally Posted by Steve.

Well I just stood on a dog turd, where are those junkies when you need them.