Kim Jong-un Claims to Have Cured Aids, Ebola and Cancer with Miracle Drug

[Illusion]

North Korea has created a wonder drug which not only cures Aids, but also eradicates Ebola and cancer, if the latest proclamation from the country’s news agency is to be believed*.

(*Hint: It's probably not)

An announcement says that the miracle cure consists of ginseng grown from fertiliser and a mix of other ingredients- but did not reveal the special combination.

The dictatorship, which is known for making far-fetched claims about its achievements, says that the medicine will apparently be injectable and will be known by the name of Kumdang-2.

In a statement published by Korean Central News Agency of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea to herald the news, Dr Jon Sung Hun said: “The researchers insert rare earth elements (REE) into insam (gingseng) by applying the mico-elementary fertilizers of REE to the fields of insam.”

“The injection is made of extracts from those complex compounds. As a strong-immuno-activator, the injection has been recognized to prevent different malignant epidemics.”

The drug’s website cites a medical study in Africa where the drug was tested on HIV positive patients. It records that every single participant in the trial noted an improvement, with 56 per cent being completely cured and 44 per cent noting a considering improvement in their condition.

The North Korean scientists also revealed that the drug is capable of curing ‘a number of cancers’. But did not divulge which ones or provide details of the medical trials which support this claim.

The dictatorship is known for making outlandish claims about its own prowess. The state claims that Kim Jong Il invented the hamburger and had magical powers which meant he did not need to use the toilet.

They also claim that he was born atop a North Korean mountain prompting a double rainbow and new star to spontaneously appear. Unfortunately for the state, records show that he was born in Siberia.

Yesterday the UN revealed that around 10.2 million North Koreans are currently facing famine as the dictatorship experiences its “worst drought for over a hundred years.”

http://www.independent.co.uk

[soares]

Yep, Like Cuba

[Agapeti]

Maybe cure by death

[T2]

But he apparently can't cure obesity.

[WHITEWIDOW]

Kim Jong Un doesn't really know the cure for aids but Magic Johnson does...just saying.

[OhJstFkOffAlrdy]

Seems legit.

[GregK]

How does he have the time? Finding unicorns and such.

Quite funny how obese he is compared to his people. What a fucking mess that country is.

[CrunchyCripple]

Wouldn't it be amazingly hilarious if it turned out to be true? I mean, no fucking way, but still - if it did? Bahahahaha!

[Brometheus]

Originally Posted by teacherof2

But he apparently can't cure obesity.

Lol he's looking like Cartman. Pretty huge compared to the last time i saw him

[TheVrist]

Those suits he wears

Are you a leader, or are you top chef

fat fucker.