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#1
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11-18-2012, 11:00 PM
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 ★The Queen★ Poster Rank:68 Female Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 23,461
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23,461Posts 28,288Thanked 3,083Quoted 95Mentioned 145Contrib. |
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Dumb Ass Steals Bike; Gets Ass Kicked by Victim
November 16, 2012 Keith Kirk appeared in court Thursday with a face that looked like it had been trampled on by a horse. Kirk, 30, showed up in Fort Lauderdale bond court and stood before Judge John "Jay" Hurley with black swollen eyes and stitches between his eyebrows. It turns out that Kirk allegedly tried to steal someone's bicycle and ended up on the wrong side of the fists of justice. And while it looks like Kirk's pummeled face might have been the work of Batman, it was, in fact, the work of the bike's owner, Calvin McDougal. Kirk is accused of stealing McDougal's $600 bicycle outside the One Stop Food Mart at 18 NW First Ave. in Fort Lauderdale. We saved Kirk's mug shot for after the jump, in case you may not like looking at a dude's swolled-up face during lunchtime. According to the police report, Kirk took the bike and was then promptly chased down by McDougal. The two got into an altercation, and the robbery pretty much ended when Kirk ran into McDougal's fists a bunch of times. He was eventually transported to Broward Health Medical Center for medical clearance. Because his face looked like a half-cooked hamburger. Kirk explained his injuries to Hurley by saying he was tackled by McDougal. "I believe there was a little bit more than just a tackle," Hurley said. "Now, sir, you allegedly steal someone's bike and it looks like there was some street justice carried out." Kirk was charged with grand theft and released on his own recognizance. He was allowed to leave jail to get more medical treatment on his face. As he walked away from the podium, Kirk muttered, "Did you notice how the guy who owned the bike didn't get arrested?" Of course, it's not a crime in Florida for victims to fight back and beat the BeJesus out of their muggers. Although cops insist that people should leave the crime-fighting to them. They might want to consider hiring this McDougal fella.  · |
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#2
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11-18-2012, 11:20 PM
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 ★ Legacy Member ★ Poster Rank:87 Professional Vaginalist Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 18,179
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18,179Posts 23,513Thanked 6,201Quoted 30Mentioned 20Contrib. |
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Re: Dumb Ass Steals Bike; Gets Ass Kicked by Victim
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#3
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11-19-2012, 12:19 AM
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 Born in the USA Poster Rank:127 100% female Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 12,867
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Re: Dumb Ass Steals Bike; Gets Ass Kicked by Victim
Street justice. Nuff said  |
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#4
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11-19-2012, 01:48 PM
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 ✝Mudderator from Hell✝ Poster Rank:10 e-mail Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 96,840
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96,840Posts 544,694Thanked 10,391Quoted 481Mentioned 904Contrib. |
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Re: Dumb Ass Steals Bike; Gets Ass Kicked by Victim
nice shiner |
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#5
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11-19-2012, 08:52 PM
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| ★The Queen★ Poster Rank:68 Female Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 23,461
Contributions: 145
23,461Posts 28,288Thanked 3,083Quoted 95Mentioned 145Contrib. |
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Re: Dumb Ass Steals Bike; Gets Ass Kicked by Victim
I love when the victim emerges victorius!
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#6
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11-20-2012, 11:04 AM
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 $lave Poster Rank:29 Regular White Guy Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 51,254
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Re: Dumb Ass Steals Bike; Gets Ass Kicked by Victim
Good. I have no sympathy for thieves, wonder if he tries to steal another bike anytime soon. |
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#8
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11-20-2012, 04:01 PM
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 ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:35 Female Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 43,321
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43,321Posts 76,152Thanked 2,282Quoted 95Mentioned 233Contrib. |
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Re: Dumb Ass Steals Bike; Gets Ass Kicked by Victim
Kirk the berk OWNED  |
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#9
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11-21-2012, 07:30 AM
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 ★ Legacy Member ★ Poster Rank:113 Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 14,025 14,025Posts 30,705Thanked 3,721Quoted 44Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Dumb Ass Steals Bike; Gets Ass Kicked by Victim
This type of thing can't happen often enough.
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