[DiamondSmiles]

by Jeanne Sager
thestir.com

December 14, 2013

Ohhhh. My heart hurts. A baby has died, and police say the last thing that happened to him was a diaper change -- by his 3 year old sister. What a horrible reminder that toddlers can do irreparable damage -- even when they don't intend to!

According to police 6 month old, Feonyx Clarke, was found by his mother in his crib. The baby had several clean diaper bags around him, along with baby wipes and a clean diaper. The boy's mom, Kristy, told police her daughter had gone upstairs that evening, but when mom went up to check on her, the little girl went to mom's bed and fell asleep, as toddlers do.

According to police, "suffocation," on the diaper bags is the possible cause of death. The inquest found his brain was starved of oxygen.

Sadly, this could have happened to anyone with more than one child. You can't keep an eye on them every single second of the day, especially not when you have more than one child. At some point, you have to go pee or take a shower!

I don't know how many times I've heard parents fret about baby number two only to be assured "Oh, your toddler will HELP you." I always cringe when I hear it.

Are they really suggesting a toddler help with a BABY?

Yes, it's natural for toddlers to want to be helpful, and it's something we need to nurture in them. Unfortunately, every mom knows that their desire to be helpful and their actual ability don't always match up.

Ever had a 3 year old, "brush their own hair," or, "put on their own clothes," only to have to do it all over again for them, as they kick and scream, "Mommy, I do it myself!"?

Welcome to parenthood.

Unfortunately, re-buttoning a shirt is one thing. But, you can't undo harm -- even completely unintentional harm -- to a baby, as this case shows.

Moms, Dads, take this one to heart. Don't leave your toddler alone with a baby, if you can help it. They mean well, but they don't always know what they're doing.

[Kelseecat65]

How does a mom deal with that emotionally?

[DiamondSmiles]

Originally Posted by Kelseecat65 ↗

How does a mom deal with that emotionally?

Wow, I don't know Kelsee

[dale6988]

This is a really scary thought for me...my son was 3 1/2 when my daughter was born, and he was always so eager to help out with everything. We taught him to ALWAYS ask before doing anything with his little sister, and for the most part, we would have him get a new diaper, bring some wipes, or get the babys shampoo, just so he actually would be helping and not try to help on his own time...very sad story

[icheerthebull]

Originally Posted by Kelseecat65 ↗

How does a mom deal with that emotionally?

I imagine they dont. A lot of parents of murderd children end up getting divorced due to the strain. Death of a loved one is hard to get over and you never really do get over it IMO but the death of a child is soul destroying. You can turn to drugs/drink, religion, family ect but the sadness will never leave

[mrm1109]

That will probably haunt the toddler the rest of her life too. One of my friends when he was 2 he started a fire in his house and the smoke killed his newborn sister. He doesn't even remember the incident (he was only 2!) But mentally he's Fucked over it and he's almost 30 . It's real sad cause he always talks about her and randomly says "I'm sorry" to her like she's there.

[Amy]

When people say they will "help" you they normally dont mean that the 3 year old will take on any tasks one on one with the baby. By helping they get the diaper, get the bottle, get the blanky. Seriously I dont think anybody who has ever said a toddler will help was implying that they will change diapers or bathe the little one.

[Kanda444]

Originally Posted by amyy ↗

When people say they will "help" you they normally dont mean that the 3 year old will take on any tasks one on one with the baby. By helping they get the diaper, get the bottle, get the blanky. Seriously I dont think anybody who has ever said a toddler will help was implying that they will change diapers or bathe the little one.

i didnt think that's what they meant either... i thought they meant 'when you have baby shit on your hand and need a wipe, your toddler will grab one for you so you dont make a mess' kind of thing.... my four year old has trouble handling the cat most times, why would one assume they could change a diaper?

[Amy]

Originally Posted by Kanda444 ↗

i didnt think that's what they meant either... i thought they meant 'when you have baby shit on your hand and need a wipe, your toddler will grab one for you so you dont make a mess' kind of thing.... my four year old has trouble handling the cat most times, why would one assume they could change a diaper?

Precisely. Dont blame your grandma for saying the toddler could help for ones lack of common sense when you have the 3 year old give the baby a bath.

Doesnt seem to be the case here, seems the little one just ran in and took it upon themselves....which they do. I NEVER leave my 4 year old alone with my little one simply because they will do this. They feel they are "big kids" and will try to feed them, try to diaper them, try to change them etc. They mimic actions they see their parents do.

[Kanda444]

Originally Posted by amyy ↗

Precisely. Dont blame your grandma for saying the toddler could help for ones lack of common sense when you have the 3 year old give the baby a bath.

Doesnt seem to be the case here, seems the little one just ran in and took it upon themselves....which they do. I NEVER leave my 4 year old alone with my little one simply because they will do this. They feel they are "big kids" and will try to feed them, try to diaper them, try to change them etc. They mimic actions they see their parents do.

that's my thought too. obviously, we dont know the whole situation but at that age, i kept a super close eye on my kids at that age... almost to the point of being paranoid about it