[matmcd78]

Nice hat.

[Call911]

Monkeys like --> Monkey gets -->

[raisin]

An old thread, but a "new" user... i still wonder why the fuck nobody took notice that the reporter tells the woman having the chimp actually had wine with the chimp and such, and i'm also pretty sure they mentioned in the news at some other point that she had actually given the chimp valium and wine on the same day. so who was actually the sick fucks in the story i wonder ?

[Kyle89]

that was one pissed chimp. got into him

[LickleSherbet]

She werent a natrual blonde then

[burford]

Thats why tarzan never really trusted cheetah

[iamtheMINDFREAK]

This is sad.

[Sadisticfucker]

By age of 5 years Chimpanzees are much stronger than adult humans are; Up to 7 times as strong in
overall strength. Even a 45kg female chimp is 4 times stronger than an adult human male.
Their bones are denser, and their skin is tougher than ours. The density of their bones
is one reason why chimpanzees stay away from water; they are not buoyant and they sink.


Before anyone wants to get one of these little fuckers for a pet best you read the following article written by a guy called Cecil Adams.


Chimpanzees look mighty cute trucking around on their roller skates, wearing funny hats, and going "ook, ook," but when roused they are vicious little bastards and not to be trifled with.
tests at the Bronx Zoo , a dynamometer — a scale that measures the mechanical force of a pull on a spring — was erected in the monkey house. A 165-pound male chimpanzee named "Boma" registered a pull of 847 pounds, using only his right hand (although he did have his feet braced against the wall, being somewhat hip, in his simian way, to the principles of leverage). A 165-pound man, by comparison, could manage a one-handed pull of about 210 pounds. Even more frightening, a female chimp, weighing a mere 135 pounds and going by the name of Suzette, checked in with a one-handed pull of 1,260 pounds. (She was in a fit of passion at the time; one shudders to think what her boyfriend must have looked like next morning.) In dead lifts, chimps have been known to manage weights of 600 pounds without even breaking into a sweat. A male gorilla could probably heft an 1,800-pound weight and not think twice about it.
As you might deduce, therefore, the word on keeping chimps as pets is a big negatory. Chimpanzees can never be fully domesticated; they're aggressive by nature and sooner or later they'll start to threaten their keepers in subtle ape ways that the untrained eye won't recognize, until one day — blammo.
But maybe you're thinking, I'll just keep the little beast until it starts to act tough, and then toss it back into the jungle. Wrong. A chimpanzee brought up in captivity won't be accepted by its brothers in the wild. Shunned, the citified chimp will either starve to death or be set upon by a simian hit squad. No matter how you look at it, keeping a chimp as a pet is dangerous and inhumane.

[Frank_Furter]

I've read some of Jane Goodall's work on chimpanzees. Chimpanzee groups sometimes go to war with neighboring groups. When they attack each other, the first things they go for are the fingers and, on males, the testicles. After that, they start biting the face. Victims, whether they be chimps or humans, usually end up with a torn face, no fingers, no penis, and no testicles.

[Jurisnaeth]

This is another lesson why wild animals can never be trusted, even when you think they're already domesticated.