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#1
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08-07-2018, 08:40 AM
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 ur gay Poster Rank:18 Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 60,996 Mentioned: 169 Post(s) Quoted: 36959 Post(s)
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Self Harm.
It was frustration, anger and every other emotion built up into one cut. They’re not deep, more so superficial and the awkward placement meant constant rubbing with pants/stockings, I had bandaged it up and peroxided it, added savlon cream (antiseptic cream) and hoped for the best, I haven’t cut since I was 17 so I automatically knew something was different when my body began to go into borderline infection, doctor prescribed antibiotics and I felt like my dearest gore fans could reap the rewards of slowly watching my self inflicted gashes heal. Doesn’t help that I’m a picker ... god help it when healing. Excuse the pants down photos, they’re the only time where I can really get in there and have a look. Few days fresh:  The next day, it began weeping and I woke up with my pyjama pants stuck to my thigh.  2 days of bandaging, as you can see... very angry. It’s essentially hardened up, minus the bits I’ve idly been picking..  Will give updated photos when I get the chance. Not looking for pity, I find the wounds interesting almost like I’ve had a skin graft done so it’s just the first few .. lots of layers removed to reveal what’s underneath. Most painful I’ve done so far that’s for sure, has made my everyday life a pain in the ass and where it is on my thigh not only rubs on clothing like I mentioned but it also stretches as I move and with it now being hardened up it hurts! |
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#2
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08-07-2018, 10:52 AM
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| ur gay Poster Rank:18 Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 60,996 Mentioned: 169 Post(s) Quoted: 36959 Post(s)
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Re: Self Harm.
Aaand tonight, scabs have hardened and because it’s so raised I’ve had a go at it, picking things is just one of those things I do. I obviously realise that I’m going to make things worse if I do continue to pick at it so I’m hoping I can resist the temptation and leave it be. More savlon was applied, more antibiotics that taste like ass. It’s funny how the things you do to yourself in a moment of emotions later on make you have the biggest regrets ever, can’t take it back now. Can only hope I move forward.  |
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#5
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08-07-2018, 09:21 PM
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 ★ Legacy Member ★ Poster Rank:1117 Male Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 587 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Quoted: 153 Post(s)
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Re: Self Harm.
My sister wrecked her boyfriends motorcycle in high school and the doctor told her to keep the wound from scabbing on purpose! He said it would prevent a scar and sure enough it worked. She has no scar at all and she had road rash from her knee up to her hip bone. Maybe it'll work for you too?  |
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#6
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08-08-2018, 02:17 AM
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| ur gay Poster Rank:18 Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 60,996 Mentioned: 169 Post(s) Quoted: 36959 Post(s)
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Re: Self Harm.
Well since picking the hard layer of scab which was essentially weeping it’s flatter now, doesn’t get caught on things so I think her doctor may be right. It’s just the matter of putting antiseptic cream on it afterward.  |
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#7
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08-08-2018, 03:19 AM
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 My Rank: FIRST SERGEANT Poster Rank:478 Join Date: May 2016 Posts: 2,201 Mentioned: 29 Post(s) Quoted: 1609 Post(s)
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Re: Self Harm.
Thank you for sharing something so personal. I hope you're able to phase out the urge to self-harm with less painful coping methods.
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#8
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08-08-2018, 07:18 AM
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| ur gay Poster Rank:18 Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 60,996 Mentioned: 169 Post(s) Quoted: 36959 Post(s)
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Re: Self Harm.
Me too. As I said I haven’t done this since I was 17 and I’m 26 now. So I feel really silly for using this as an outlet, rest assured I’m on the mend both mentally and physically.
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#10
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08-09-2018, 11:21 AM
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 Kelly's slave Poster Rank:691 Female Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,236 Mentioned: 0 Post(s) Quoted: 47 Post(s)
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Re: Self Harm.
God won't heal fuck all ... your body will. This may sound strange but honey will help heal the wound. I'm borderline personality disorder, and a whole plethora of other MH issues, so understand the SH route you took. If you ever feel dark again drop me a message and i'll happily talk you through it. All forms of self harm work in the now/short run and in fact only causes more harm to you and your body. I started to cut when i was 5 or 6 so totally understand why you'd do it. Hope you're healing well and trust me honey works wonders
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