[elizajane]

here's my story. i had an horrific childhood. think fred and rose west plus their pedo friend. my mother was extremely violent and my dad is a pedo. this was the live i was given and i accept it now, but a few years ago i tried to kill myself 3 times and ended up in the loony ward. having two kids, i saw what a normal life was supposed to be like and that was hard to deal with. i came to realise that there is always someone worse off and started to think more positively. i met a man who showed me what life was about a year ago and i am totally overwhelmed at how ordinary life can be, for me it's good. the stuff you see on this site really opens your eyes to what is real. i've got a wicked sense off humour and try to project that into my comments, but i would never intentionally attempt to offend anyone(unless they do it to me). last night i was told that a body had been found in the garden of the house of horrors that i grew up in and i'm waiting for the police to inform me of what's going on. i've felt pain, been near to death, lived in torture from a young age, but like i said there is always some poor being worse off... good post...

[Sharon]

That was a very moving story, thank you so much for sharing it and please try so hard to keep strong as you cope with life's new struggles. God bless.

[elizajane]

thanks sharon. it is a slow process, but i'm getting there...

[Sharon]

My close-to-death experiences were a brain bleed when I was 19. Lucky to survive after being informed I may not make it then lucky to walk again despite being told otherwise. Really life-changing and personality changing time

Tragically OD'd for awful reasons 10 years ago. Was resussitated and survived. Very traumatic mentally but came through and got help

Now appreciate even life's smallest things that healthy folk take for granted. I'm more sensitive to the plight of others now and am very different to how I was. The gung-ho "I'm invincible!" attitude has long gone. Realise own mortality, weakness, frailties, and work hard to keep on keeping on.

I look on here and often find it hard to joke or make snide comments towards the dead/ill/deformed as I've been in each category myself. Am now in the med/deformity ones

One day at a time and make the most of the good days

[elizajane]

you're still here and you seem like a really strong character, on a more positive note, i would rephrase "make the most of the good days" to "make most days good days". some crazy shit goin on in this world and not a lot anyone can do about it. you just gotta soldier on and refuse to let the bad shit win..:-)

[Sharon]

Originally Posted by elizajane ↗

you're still here and you seem like a really strong character, on a more positive note, i would rephrase "make the most of the good days" to "make most days good days". some crazy shit goin on in this world and not a lot anyone can do about it. you just gotta soldier on and refuse to let the bad shit win..:-)

Thanks mate, I like your re-phrasing Soldier on and battle through each day

[elizajane]

Originally Posted by Sharon. ↗

Thanks mate, I like your re-phrasing Soldier on and battle through each day

as the saying goes, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but some of us have to get over those hurdles, that the average person can only read about in the papers or on sites like DR. i believe everything happens for a reason, the people who get through life are the people we learn from.

[elizajane]

besides i couldn't imagine myself being one of those spoilt rich people who grow up never knowing compassion, pain or selflessness, their world must be pretty lonely.

[ambvlnt.ideal]

I personally have not had a brush with mr. death. I guess you can call me a pu*sy, I live my life avoiding as many things that have the potential to kill me as possible. But, while I was doing a brief stint in the Air force, i had a close friend pass away. He was in the national guard and he was probably one of the nicest people I ever met, just happy to be alive. He bought a motorcycle one day...it was his first bike. I remember telling him he shouldn't get something excessive but he got the fastest one he could afford. He had only had the bike for a week. I worked nights, so i remember talking to him and saying "see you tonight".....well I didn't see him that night. He got in an accident on his bike. He was racing or driving at excessive speeds and he lost control and went flying into a guard rail, it split him right in half, separating his heart from his body. he was on his way into work, I remember I was on the flightline and they called us away from work to break the news to us. It's weird...when you just see someone and you expect to see them again in like 12 hours and you don't.

[Aloha717200]

I haven't posted here before...and after reading everyone else's stories, it's clear that no matter how bad things are for someone, there is always someone else that has suffered worse. You are all very strong people for having come through what you have.

I've been in some dark places in my life as well, not as bad as some of the others here, but significant to me.

I never knew my real father, only my step father who married my mother when I was 2. From that point forward, he beat the living shit out of me constantly, even for things I didn't do. If my sister cried, he'd punch or kick me, then ask her what I did only to find out she was crying for something else. I never got an apology. He got a sense of pleasure out of causing me pain. I've been headbutted, punched in the face, kicked repeatedly in the chest, the list goes on.

At the age of 13, he began to molest me. Started having me drink, told me if I had a drink with him, he'd consider me his real son. Approval I always wanted. Once I was drunk, he raped me. I felt disgusting after that, and when he tried again, I refused. He beat me senseless. Informed me that I'd either do what he asked, or I'd be beaten every time. And so from age 13 to age 17 I was raped whenever he was in the mood to do so. Forced me to give him oral sex and other acts I don't want to think about.

Had my first minor brush with death at age 14. I was a science nerd and I went out to observe a storm coming in. The storm spawned a tornado that touched down no more than a mile away from me. I tried to race home on my bike but I didn't make it. I got hit with a wall of wind and dust so severe that it caused wind rash. I jumped into a ditch and held onto the ground for dear life. I couldn't breathe unless i put my face directly against the ground. I was lucky to survive that one. They said it was an F1, and it passed damn close to me.

At age 16, our entire family was over for thanksgiving dinner, and my step dad, drunk and in a rage, attacked me, punching me so hard so many times that I passed out. He then threw me down a flight of stairs. I woke up to my grandmother cleaning the blood off my face, and my sister cleaning the blood off the carpet. I suffered frequent migraines after that, which I still have to this day.

At age 17, I finally moved in with my grandmother to escape him. Even in front of the family, which were looking after me as I moved my things out, he grabbed my face and dug his fingers in, twisting it so hard that he broke blood vessels in my face and eyes...I had "evil eyes" for weeks after that and horrible bruising.

I should have sent him to jail. But I didn't, because he treated my mother and my sister very well, and they loved him. So rather than destroy their lives, I simply removed myself from theirs. A few years later, I tried to give my mother a call, as I missed her and wanted to say goodbye properly. I was informed that if I ever called again, they'd accuse me of harrassment, and that I wasn't wanted and never was wanted. So, I no longer have a guilty conscience about divorcing my family. I tried to be nice, I was met with hate.

Graduated from high school, had lots of dreams and never pursued them. Wanted to be an airline pilot or a scientist, but had no confidence in myself. Instead I went to work for 8 years and basically wasted my life trying to recover from the past. Got married. She had an affair. Got divorced. Lots of unsuccessful relationships. Couldn't trust anybody.

Wound up working as a trucker, doing overnight routes hauling medical supplies. Met a girl online that was friends with someone else I knew. Something about her was different, and we got together. I eventually entrusted her with my past and she was surprisingly understanding, and suddenly made it her mission to show me that there are good things in the world as well. Hard thing to do, I'd grown incredibly jaded and pessimistic about everything. she took it all in though and eventually asked me if I'd like to get married to her. I was nervous, my last marriage didn't go well but, something about her was just different and, we did get engaged.

Just a couple months after that, I had my real brush with death. Still working the trucking job, I went to work one night really tired from lack of sleep. Stopped to rest many times on my route but, it wasn't enough. Around 5am in the morning, I finally fell asleep at the wheel. I woke up to find myself heading off the road and straight towards a road sign. I swerved back onto the road, but I had a full load of cargo that night, and the rig began to fishtail violently. I kept trying to correct, but it was no use. I eventually wound up going sideways at 70 miles per hour, and over she went. When something that heavy flops onto its side, you really get a sense for how much weight is behind that thing. I didn't have my seatbelt on, and decided to hold onto the steering wheel for dear life, fearing that if I slammed around the cab I'd get a concussion or worse.

she rolled a second time, with me still inside, and then everything went dark, and I felt a breeze. I was outside the cab, flying. The sun wasn't up, so I couldn't see the ground at all. And I thought to myself..."If I don't land this right, I'm never seeing my fiancee again."

I went limp, remembering those survival stories of skiers that fall off mountain cliffs and only survived cos they were unconscious and didn't brace. Lower back and hip contacted the pavement first, then my head slammed into it. Everything turned to gray snow in my mind. I rolled down the roadway, with my right hand punching the pavement with each roll. I finally wound up laying on my right side, completely unable to move.

It took a second for me to regain my senses...and then the pain set in. If you can imagine being dropped into a vat of boiling water, and having that go all over your body, that's exactly what it felt like. I shouted and screamed for someone to help me but no one was around at that hour. Just me laying across the interstate. This was in a very, very rural area.

My left arm was broken from hitting the pavement...but i reached behind me to feel my back. I felt this giant bulge there, wet to the touch. there was blood on the road behind me, and i could vaguely make out the silhouette of the rig, laying upside down.

I lay there yelling for help and then I saw headlights reflecting off the road, coming from behind me. I'm laying across the centerline of the interstate and I'm hearing this car come up fast. And then it hits me...this person might run me over before they realize I'm even here. I'm thinking "this is how it ends...I survive the crash only to be run over, maybe decapitated by a tire...oh god...please don't let them hit me...please let them see me..."

I am not a religious person but that was the time to pray to a god if a god exists at all. The car did see me, and they swerved violently, almost losing control but recovering. They then turned around, going the wrong way on the interstate, and doubling back to the crash site. A man jumped out and ran towards me, with me yelling for help. Apparently the rig was still on, and he went to turn it off as the tires were spinning in mid air. then he called 911, called my boss, and within about 15 minutes police officers arrived, 20 minutes for the medical team. Traffic was stopped, they almost called a helicopter as they believed me to be paralyzed. I couldn't accept the idea that I'd never walk again, and forced one of my feet to move. They yelled at me for that but, called off the helicopter as a result. I wish they hadn't.

I was loaded into an ambulance, and being put on a stretcher was the, absolute, most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life. I had no skin left on my back. And those stretchers are incredibly hard.

A long 20 minute ambulance ride on the interstate was hell on earth for my back. got to the hospital, was injected with some dye that made me feel like I was burning from the inside out, and put through an MRI and CT scan. They took a urine tube and shoved it into my penis....the second most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life. They turned me over to look at my back, and just being turned over was almost too painful to bear.

Later, police arrived to question me about the accident. I gave them the full and true story. As a result of my honesty, I was not given a misdemeanor citation for inattentive driving...instead, I got a failure to wear a seatbelt and failure to maintain lane. Pretty funny if you think about it, but shows how telling the truth sometimes works out better for you. the cops couldn't believe I survived, and related stories to me about similar accidents where they've seen people cut in half or have their heads split open. Mentioned 9 out of 10 people ejected die.

Got admitted to the hospital. Was told I'd need surgery on my spleen as it was bleeding internally. My back, surprisingly, wasn't fractured, but I had nerve damage. My left arm was fucked up bad. I'd lost hair from the top of my head as a result of road rash, and my legs were temporarily unusable as the muscle damage was too severe to allow me to walk.

Next couple of days were hell. I wasn't allowed to drink water because of the chance of surgery. I got very dehydrated and sick. I finally begged a nurse for a small cup of water, and she took pity on me and allowed it. 3rd day in the hospital, my internal bleeding stopped on its own and my platelet count went up. Surgery called off. Stayed in hospital for observation. They patched up my back to let the skin regrow, and splinted my arm. Painful, I was unable to roll onto my side under my own power. Got sent home eventually, but on bed rest.

Week later, had reconstructive surgery on my arm. Screws, plates and pins. I still have metal parts holding my arm together, always will. Went through physical therapy for my legs, and regained the use of my back muscles so that I could get out of bed on my own.

As I slowly began to walk again, I was given a four footed cane, which I used for 8 months before finally being able to walk without it. My arm came out of the cast just a little over a year ago. I have nerve damage in my back from landing on my L5 vertebra, and this has manifested itself many times as hot spots in my legs or numbness in my feet. I've had to go for cortizone shots into my spinal cord to solve the problem. I hate those, they're very painful, even with a topical anaesthetic.

Today, I have arthritis in my wrist and back, and I'm only 26. But that's small compared to what could have happened.

The girl I was with then is still with me, remaining supportive and caring through the whole ordeal. After surviving and battling my way back to even being able to walk again, I gained a new perspective on life. I went back to school, and am now pursuing a Geosciences degree with a minor in Botany.

My parents read about my crash in the local news. I received a phone call asking if I'd like to see them. I politely declined, not wishing to open up the door to that part of my life again. My fiancee's family became my new family, and they too encouraged my recovery. One year and nine months from the date of the crash, my old life feels like a past life, and the life I've built since the crash, with my fiancee and a new family, feels like that life I should have had all along. It took a brush with death before I finally began to live.

I would post the news article to prove my story, but it's no longer available on the website (too old of a story, I guess). Do have some pictures of my healing injuries though, taken a while after the fact, after I'd been casted. Don't laugh at the cast colors...I did it for my fiancee, whose favorite colors are red and blue. I felt she deserved it..after all the support she gave.
Blood pooling by my hip.


Road rash on back after the skin healed up.


Between casts, after surgery.