This reminds me of when a friend wanted to try that diet pill Alli... I asked her if she was familiar with "the cholera shits," which as a girl who just came back from Peace Corps, she was. I said "you're taking a pill to give yourself those. In the meantime, I'll be in the other room eating some delicious, non-shitfountain-causing grub."
"Shitfountain"
