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#1
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05-19-2023, 09:50 PM
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 ✖ The Antique Christ ✖ Poster Rank:106 Gonzo Punk Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 15,478
Contributions: 62
15,478Posts 39,159Thanked 2,046Quoted 23Mentioned 62Contrib. |
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Woman Murdered and Cut in Half by Her Son
A subject identified as 24-year-old Santiago Lucas Gil, alias "Santi" was arrested by Polimonagas after murdering his 55-year-old mother identified as F.G., the incident was recorded yesterday in the Tipuro 2 sector of the Boquerón Parish in Maturin edo Monagas. The subject was known in the sector for his police record as a thief and robber of the area, in addition to being a seller of narcotic substances. The neighbors heard the screams of the woman and later notified the security forces who entered the house. According to the inhabitants of the area, they alleged that the murderer shouted that "He had killed the demon." The subject had hit her on the head with a shovel ending her life and then took a sharp object (a saw) to cut her in two. Cicpc commissions went to the site for the lifting of the body being transferred to the morgue of the University Hospital "Dr. Manuel Núñez Tovar.  ·  ·  ·  · |
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#2
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05-20-2023, 09:13 PM
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| ♚ Legacy Gold Member ♚ Poster Rank:92 Male Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 17,231 17,231Posts 45,018Thanked 4,711Quoted 8Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Woman Murdered and Cut in Half by Her Son
Shoot him "while trying to escape" and be done with it.
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#5
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05-21-2023, 05:37 PM
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 My Rank: FIRST SERGEANT Poster Rank:405 MALE Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 3,014 3,014Posts 6,008Thanked 959Quoted 5Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Woman Murdered and Cut in Half by Her Son
He definitely wasn't half-hearted about halving that halfling—was he? If this procedure were somehow possible at his birth, it is quite likely he would've had his butt cheeks cut off (newborns are positioned upside-down), which would inevitably lead to Schrödinger's cat being forcibly pulled out of the bag—who would immediately be killed by curiosity, thus solving the apparent quantum superposition paradox.  |
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#6
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05-22-2023, 06:43 AM
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 My Rank: CAPTAIN Poster Rank:212 Boob enthusiast Join Date: Jul 2017 Posts: 7,247 7,247Posts 7,426Thanked 2,714Quoted 8Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Woman Murdered and Cut in Half by Her Son
His crack pipe was half empty half full  |
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#9
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05-25-2023, 02:56 AM
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| My Rank: FIRST SERGEANT Poster Rank:405 MALE Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 3,014 3,014Posts 6,008Thanked 959Quoted 5Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Woman Murdered and Cut in Half by Her Son
If Prince Charles, Ringo Starr, Bob Dylan and Camilla all mated with one another and somehow produced a child—the progeny would look exactly like this motherfucker here.   |
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#10
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05-25-2023, 03:05 AM
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| My Rank: FIRST SERGEANT Poster Rank:405 MALE Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 3,014 3,014Posts 6,008Thanked 959Quoted 5Mentioned 0Contrib. |
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Re: Woman Murdered and Cut in Half by Her Son
Oh, most importantly: I forgot to mention *the donkey.* I meant Prince Charles, Ringo Starr, Bob Dylan, Camilla and a donkey. Some people, however, would consider Camilla to be a donkey—which seems reasonable enough to me—in which case it would be: Prince Charles, Ringo Starr, Bob Dylan and 2 donkeys—one of which is Camilla. |
