I think it's a picnic table tablecloth he's wearing. The straw in his mouth is kinda strange. It's like he was standing there chillin' chawing on a straw and *bang bang bang*
You think that shirt in hideous? Well, I happen to know that not only was he wearing that shirt in public, but he picked it out on the internet, ordered it, and even........wait for it.......PAID FOR OVERNIGHT SHIPPING!!!!