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05-29-2011, 02:39 AM
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Santa Isn't Coming This Year.
Tijuana, Mexico- Mexican officials confirmed the death Of Santa Clause at a closed press conference this afternoon. "Santa's death is a tragedy that will be felt the whole world over" said police officer Pedro Morales. "I just can't believe he's gone". Mexican authorities suspect that Santa was leaving The Hung Donkey nightclub around midnight Friday night with an unidentified woman when he was attacked by several hispanic men wielding baseball bats. The beating was witnessed by several patrons of The Hung Donkey, who described the incident as "One Hell of a show". One witness said "Where can you see a chick fuck a donkey and see some dude get the shit kicked out of him" as he left the club. Police suspect drugs were involved in the beating death of the beloved Christmas celebrity. Others believe it was simply men who didn't get what they wanted for Christmas, or the pimp of the unidentified prostitute Santa was leaving with. Mrs. Clause was unavailable for comment. reported by TheUrinator! · |