right before my friend hanged herself (I know that is the way to write it, but it does not sound right!)
I tried everything. She was in drug court following the removal of her baby by CPS. She has been stealing ALL her mom's meds after her mom got cancer and her throat box removed. My friend, Casey did many unsavory things for crack and coke that I found out later on, and she would only come over asking for my mom's Valium and stuff.
She did sober up for about a month, and in that time I met an amazing person.....and I did everything I could to get that person back. She did not sober up during during her pregnancy,either. In fact, she tried to kill herself w/ overdoses of Klonopin, in which she was hospitalized and she had to go to Chapel Hill docs for a high-risk. When she delivered, Asenith was so tiny, but was not on any withdrawal program. She felt so guilty about the possible effects of all the benzos, coke, and opiates she took through all three trimesters.
Surprisingly, DSS was not involved after birth. Casey did change after her daughter was born, she seemed to realize she had a purpose. But, her demons took over and the cops were called on her by her mom, because Casey would always beat on her when she would hide her meds (For Casey's benefit) this time I forced her mom to put them in a post office box. The cops called CPS after the third time, and Casey lived w/ her mom in what was not even a house, but a shack made into a one bedroom home, and they did have an empty 2 bedroom trailer connected to it, and her grandmother and aunt lived in a 4 bedroom home behind that, but they would not let Casey live in the trailer because she did not pay, so they were not paying for the utilities.
So, after CPS took her baby and gave custody to the dad's sister, because the dad was on drugs and he was not allowed near the baby either. The sister was so horrible to Casey, but I told her sister Casey did have rights to know about how she was doing, and to work w/ me about that. Part of Casey died when they removed Asenith, and I knew it would be a matter of time, but I did not think she would take herself out the way she did.
Casey did not for one minute try. I took her to Mental Health for her sessions and drug testing at first, then she would avoid me and refused to go.
I set up a crib in my daughter's room, and I had a 3 bedroom home I shared w/ my mom, and the rooms were huge, and the CPS agreed that Casey can live there w/ the baby, WHEN she started to TRY to get off drugs.
We went to drug court and the judge and GAL made the stipulation that she must continue w/ the Psych sessions and drug testing, and that she was to move into my house. As soon as the Psychologist and Psychiatrist said she was fit enough, Asenith was to reunite w/ her and have in home unsupervised visits. It was a great day in court, but on the way home she insisted I drop her off at her moms. So, that was the night she did it. Her mom was cooking Casey's favorite foods, and I was to come hang out w/ her after she had some time alone w/ her mom.....when I arrived the paramedics were taking her to Cape Fear hospital, and she was intubated.
Her mom said that all of a sudden Casey said "BYE!" and she was setting up the plates when she called her to eat and Casey did not answer. She then found her in the closet, and apparently Casey planned it since the cord was measured to make sure it worked as she slid down the wall. No note. The paramedics got her heart pumping, but she was in a coma for a couple of days w/ no brain activity, and her mom kept her alive so friends and relatives could come and say goodbye.
I was so angry...everything was going to work out. But I knew she felt so much guilt about her drug use during pregnancy, but it appeared Asenith was in perfect cognitive health, but since we could not tell the future, Casey said she already failed her daughter.
Suicide is the worst thing a person can do....Casey never tried to help herself, but her mom and I did everything for her, and it would have been ok, but she could not for a few days stop the damn drugs. I even bought detoxify so one damned UA would be clean....
So, the moral of this story is that even if there was intervention, the person who does this either has no hope, or may do this spontaneously....and when they feel no hope they will do it, I just can't understand how dark of a place Casey went, and never discussed. She was so happy that day in court.
After all that not ONE fucking Picture
