Guinness Promoter Hangs Herself While Drunk

**Vedderman** · #1 01-13-2016, 12:31 PM

28 year old woman who worked as a Guinness Stout sales rep decided to hang herself while wearing her Guinness uniform in her apartment last night. Her body was discovered by the maid service for the apartment when they came in this morning to clean and found her hanging.

Witnesses reported that she'd had a loud, drunken fight with her boyfriend the night before, which he corroborated. Initially the police consider him a person of interest until they get the autopsy back, though they verified for the newspaper that they did believe it to be a suicidal hanging.

One of her hands was tangled up in the noose, there was a box speaker behind her that she'd used to climb on to hang herself, she used a roll of curtains for a noose, her tongue was swollen and protruding, there was saliva dripping from her mouth to her shirt, and there was urine running down her legs with a puddle of it directly underneath her body. This combination of factors about the scene (almost all classic self-hanging indicators) lead them to tentatively conclude suicide-by-asphyxiation as the cause of death, but an autopsy is pending to be thorough.

sancatz22 · #2 01-13-2016, 12:37 PM

What a shame

K53 · #3 01-13-2016, 02:12 PM

Such a waste

Wakabush · #4 01-13-2016, 02:52 PM

Vedderman's description of the suicide made me get a stiffy...you tease.

**Vedderman** · #5 01-13-2016, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wakabush

Vedderman's description of the suicide made me get a stiffy...you tease.

I don't make this shit up. That's how they roll in Indonesian journalism. I just translate what they publish in the papers.

MesaGrande · #6 01-13-2016, 03:21 PM

Not the best commercial for Guinness...

xthabeast · #7 01-13-2016, 05:41 PM

No more Guinness for me

mrhoogles · #8 01-13-2016, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wakabush

Vedderman's description of the suicide made me get a stiffy...you tease.

yeah, that was hot.

bazoozoo_52 · #9 01-13-2016, 08:47 PM

My goodness, my Guinness!!

vagabond · #10 01-14-2016, 02:40 AM

Drama, drama

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