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Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

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  #1  
● 05-29-2014, 05:01 AM
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Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

It was a cool but not cold May evening, the man was walking down the street (most likely after having a tea while listening to some classic music, maybe Mozart or Chopin) when (to much of his surprise) someone started shooting him for some reasons that i don't know.
The man tried to hide behind a pole in a desperate attempt to minimize the damage from the bullets, but no luck: he was struck by a compilation of bullets of assorted calibers: in spite of it all, he managed to flee for about hundred meters, while attackers fled the scene, probably smiling with satisfaction.
His grey flippies (Mod. Hawaianas 2.0, which are mandatory until the end of the FIFA World Cup 2014) and his red baseball hat decided to stick behind the pole, for safety reasons.
So, when police arrived to the scene, they found one flipflopless+hatless male shot multiple times to death.
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After the police cordoned the crime scene area, the scientific police started inspecting the body and counting the holes left by the bullets: in total 15 bullet holes were found + 15 shells, which initially indicated an accuracy of 100% for the shooters. But after a closer inspection, five holes turned out to be exit wounds, so the rank of the shooters was downgraded from HP (Hitman Pro) to 2D1B (2 Dudes on 1 Bike), as the actual accuracy was 53,3333 %.

During the inspection had also been found:

Folding scissors used as key rings
Two keys
Five photos of the dude
Random insignificant stuff
A bottle of perfume "O Boticario Malbec EAU Toilette" (100 ml.)

Product Description
O Boticario leader in perfumery in the Brazilian market innovates again upon uniting two big arts the perfumery and the craft creation of wines for develop MALBEC - a rich fragrance in contrasts inspired in the refined world of the wines that reveals the modernity of the present man. It is the first time in the world that a perfume is manufactured having as a base the wine alcohol (obtained by the distillation of wine) crushed in barrels of French oak conferring unique and differentiated personality to the fragrance.
Basically, it's great for alcohol addicts who don't want to be exposed, because no matter you're drunk or sober: you'll always smell like a can of stale wine, and you can always blame the perfume.
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Anyway, during the inspection, the flippies abandoned the safe corner behind the pole and reached the body of their beloved owner; one of them (the left one) even managed to hook-up with his left foot, while the right one stuck in the immediate closeness, staring @ its team mate with a mix of admiration and envy.
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Here begins the mystery

At some point, a THIRD flyppy (model Hawaianas 3.1.1 beta, they're banned due to safety concerns) burst into the scene (followed by its team mate who had to shift into reverse before), scaring the shit out of the left flippy (which quickly abandoned the foot to its fate) and claiming the possession of the entire crime scene.
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According to the witnesses, they came from nowhere.
Now explain this if you can: ONE body, TWO pairs of Flip Flops.
One ordinary man killed for no reasons: he was just a former inmate,heavy drinker, crack addict, drug dealer and he killed someone three years ago.
Definitely, some unexplainable murder.
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  #2  
● 05-29-2014, 05:08 AM
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Re: Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

Pointers!!!
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  #3  
● 05-29-2014, 06:50 AM
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Re: Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

This is some serious jfk conspiracy shit.
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  #4  
● 05-29-2014, 07:57 AM
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Re: Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

he was just a former inmate,heavy drinker, crack addict, drug dealer and he killed someone three years ago.
it was a matter of time they hardly make it to the age of 35 anyway there with that kinda lifestyle.
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  #5  
● 05-29-2014, 08:58 AM
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Re: Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

Best post I've read in a while. I love your sense of humour!
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  #6  
● 05-29-2014, 09:16 AM
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Re: Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

The color of his corpse tag matches his shorts.
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  #7  
● 05-29-2014, 09:31 AM
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Re: Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

Two sets of flip flops, the beige were for walking and chilling, the red ones were for running away from the bullets. (it didn't work!)
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● 05-29-2014, 10:08 AM
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Re: Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

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  #9  
● 05-29-2014, 10:58 AM
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Re: Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

Well Obviously the perp killed him coz he look like Gomez Adams in last pic
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● 05-29-2014, 11:40 AM
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Re: Big Mystery Surrounds Death Of An Ordinary Man

You're a very funny guy GG
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