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#13
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06-12-2021, 04:37 AM
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 My Rank: FIRST SERGEANT Poster Rank:399 MALE Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 3,013 Mentioned: 5 Post(s) Quoted: 959 Post(s)
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Re: Anesthetized by Chloroform Before Hanging
Fuck suicide-by-hanging—chloroform or not. We're talkin' about probabilities here, people, and I, for one, am not the kind of person who would lightly leave epistemology to chance. Therefore, I masturbate to orgasm as much as possible—everyday—on top of normal sex—just to increase the chances that if and when I do die, it will happen during the blissful throes of ejaculation (I call it Jismosis)—amid throbbing, galvanic pelvic thrusts of my swollen, palpitating scabbard. For when it comes to death—as with all important things—I prefer to take matters into my own hands. And so should you. In fact, we can all do it together—as in that torrid, fervidly romantic, revenant reminiscing of our lubricious, libidinous adventures in that lecherous carnal cemetery of our youthful indiscretions, we only shared not long ago. In fact, I plan to build a masturbation death-machine—for the masses. À la Jack Kevorkian—but this time, definitely with a Twist (and Shout).  All Heavenly Glory to the Holy Swollen Obelisk and the Heavenly Tightness of the Slippery Sepulchre. Amen—(and a woman).  |
