[DiamondSmiles]

By ALEX GREIG
usdailymailuk.com

19 January 2014

A Pennslvania mother who gave birth to her son at 19 weeks posted her story and photographs on her blog to share with friends and family, but her brave choice has spread way beyond her immediate circle to bring comfort to other grieving mothers.

Alexis Fretz was 30 years old and 19 weeks pregnant with her third child when she began bleeding lightly.

Not overly worried, she called her midwife and as a precaution was advised to head to the ER in a Kokomo, Indiana hospital for a check-up. By the end of the day, her son, Walter, had been born and died in her arms.

Fretz had no inkling that the day, which began with a pedicure and lunch with a friend and bride-to-be whose wedding she was supposed to photograph the following day, would end in such devastating loss.

In a waiting room in the hospital, Fretz was given three glasses of water to drink in preparation for an ultrasound. Soon after, she began to feel the first twinges of pain.

A few minutes after 6pm, 'I knew I was in labor, there was no doubt in my mind,' wrote Fretz on her blog.

Nurses were sceptical and she was finally taken for her ultrasound at 7pm. Fretz felt heartened when the technician found a heartbeat, but soon her bleeding increased and the pain of her contractions intensified.

The ultrasound technician told her husband when Fretz was out of the room, 'I’m sorry, and I don’t want her to see me crying, but I will be praying for you.'

'At this point, there was no break between the contractions. Just as one finished, another would start. I knew that I was at the end. I didn't give up hope, but in my heart of hearts, I knew that I was losing my baby.

'At some point, the PA came in and said, "your foetus is still viable." I seriously wanted to slap her. When the doctor checked me and sat down beside me on the bed and told me that we were going to be delivering our baby, it was the first that anyone had called him a, "baby."

'I immediately started bawling and asking if there was any other option,' she wrote.

Walter Joshua Fretz was born at 9:42pm.

'I was crying so hard at this point but he was perfect. He was fully formed and everything was there, I could see his heart beating in his tiny chest,' wrote Fretz.

At some point, Fretz's husband, Joshua, went to her car and retrieved the camera she was going to shoot her friend's wedding on and took photographs of the couple's first son.

'I am so very glad that Joshua did that. At first, I did not want any photos, but they are the only thing I have to look back on now,' Fretz wrote.

'I held him, cuddled him, while his heart was beating I held him to my heart, I counted his toes and kissed his tiny head. I will always cherish those memories that I have of him.'

Fretz says the term 'fetus' is insulting, and that her son was a baby, even though he was so tiny.

Fretz shared the confronting yet touching images not to cause controversy, but to open up discussion about a tragedy that affects more than 1 million American women each year: pre-term labor.

'Pre-term labour and infant loss is not something the public wants to talk about,' says Fretz. 'To most people it's not a big deal, you just try again for another baby, so they pretend it never happened and go on with their lives while the mother and family are left in a pile of grief they don't know how to deal with.

Photographs and memories are all the Fretzes have left of Walter.

'It is also very common for medical staff to take these babies away and dispose of them as medical waste, so many mothers never get to see or hold their babies, or even know if it was a boy or a girl.'
Fretz says she's had many emails from women who have experienced miscarriage and for whom her words and pictures helped to bring healing.

'I’m still in shock at how much his photos have been shared and commented on. In his short life of just a few minutes he has touched more lives then I ever could have imagined,' said Fretz.


WARNING: DISTRESSING CONTENT (Their warning, not mine)

Perfectly formed, Walter's tiny heart was still beating as his mother and father said their goodbyes

The Fretzes also wanted their two daughters to be able to bid farewell their longed-for brother.

[Kelseecat65]

Precious little guy, how sad.

[vagabond]

Oh so very, very tiny! How sad for them all...

[DiamondSmiles]

The first time I saw posts on youtube, I thought it was kind of morbid, but, never having been pregnant or giving birth, I cannot feel what any of you who have feel.

I get it now and I think although sad, it means a lot to the parents and siblings to remember their deceased siblings.

This family loved the baby and want to remember him and I now think it's a beautiful thing to do

This poor little guy looks like a fully formed baby, at least from the outside

RIP Walter <3

[Shakey]

I don't know about fully formed. It doesn't even look like he has skin yet.

[DiamondSmiles]

Originally Posted by Shakey ↗

I don't know about fully formed. It doesn't even look like he has skin yet.

Well, my words may not be right, but, you can tell he's a human baby.

That's what I was trying to say. We sometimes see people who pose with smaller babies/fetuses, that don't have the fingers and toes and such.

I think there is a post on here that is not of a human to make the point that the fetus in that thread could be anything.

[Faline]

That third image gave me goosebumps

Feel for her. Especially with me having a premature baby that almost died.

[Nick_ufc]

that was harder to read through than some of the most hardcore death scenes on here.

[LadyCPlum]

Originally Posted by Nick_ufc ↗

that was harder to read through than some of the most hardcore death scenes on here.

It's amazing, how some of the goriest splatter pictures and stories can make some of us barely blink, yet pictures of a little man who did nothing more than enter the world too soon can crack even the hardest of hearts.

[pissypantsandpuke]

poor little guy :'(