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Famous Suicide Notes

Clara Blandick

Clara Blandick (June 4, 1880 – April 15, 1962) was an American actress. Her many film appearances include the role of Auntie Em in the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz.
Throughout the 1950s, Blandick's health steadily began to fail. She started going blind and began suffering from severe arthritis. On April 15, 1962, she returned home from Palm Sunday services at her church. Her residence was 1735 North Wilcox Avenue, Los Angeles, California. She began rearranging her room, placing her favorite photos and memorabilia in prominent places. She laid out her resume and a collection of press clippings from her lengthy career. She dressed immaculately, in an elegant royal blue dressing gown. Then, with her hair properly styled, she took an overdose of sleeping pills. She lay down on a couch, covered herself with a gold blanket over her shoulders, and tied a plastic bag over her head. Blandick left the following note:

“I am now about to make the great adventure. I cannot endure this agonizing pain any longer. It is all over my body. Neither can I face the impending blindness. I pray the Lord my soul to take. Amen.”

Leslie Cheung

Leslie Cheung Kwok-wing (12 September 1956 – 1 April 2003), nicknamed "Ge Ge", was a Hong Kong film actor and musician. Cheung was considered as "one of the founding fathers of Cantopop".
In 2010 he was voted the third in CNN's "top five most iconic musicians of all time" placing him just behind Michael Jackson and The Beatles.
Cheung committed suicide on 1 April 2003 at 6:41 pm (HKT). He leapt from the 24th floor of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel, located in the Central district of Hong Kong Island. He left a suicide note saying that he had been suffering from depression. He was 46 years old.
As one of the most popular performers in Asia, Cheung's death shocked the Asian entertainment industry and Chinese community worldwide. The day after Leslie's death, his family confirmed that Cheung suffered from (clinical) depression and had been seeing psychiatrists for treatment for almost a year. They also revealed that Cheung had attempted suicide in 2002. Cheung's translated suicide note reads:

"Depression! Many thanks to all my friends. Many thanks to Professor Felice Lieh-mak. This year has been so tough. I can't stand it anymore. Many thanks to Mr. Tong. Many thanks to my family. Many thanks to Sister Fei. In my life I did nothing bad. Why does it have to be like this?"

Kurt Cobain

Kurt Donald Cobain, an American singer, songwriter, musician and artist founded the famous rock band “Nirvana” with Krist Novoselic in 1985. He was in Munich, Germany on a tour on March 1, 1994 when Cobain was diagnosed with Bronchitis and Laryngitis. The following day he jumped a flight to seek medical treatment in Rome. His wife joined him there on the March 3, 1994. The next morning he was found unconscious due to an overdose on a combination of champagne and Rohypnol. Five days later he was discharged from the hospital. According to his wife it was his first suicide attempt.
On April 8, 1994, an electrician discovered Cobain’s body at his Lake Washington home. He was found with a shotgun pointed at his chin. His body was found to have a very high concentration of Heroin and traces of Valium. Reports state that he died around April 5, 1994. He left a letter for his imaginary childhood friend, Boddah. He left behind thousands of mourners.
There is a debate regarding his death to be a suicide. Many people think that he was murdered by his own wife and the letter was written by her. His final letter reads:

"To Boddah:
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community had proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example, when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begin, it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun.

Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much, I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy,

Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I love you, I love you!"


Dalida (17 January 1933 – 3 May 1987), born with the Italian name Iolanda Cristina Gigliotti, was a famous singer and actress born in Egypt to Italian parents but naturalised French with the name Yolanda Gigliotti. She spent her early years in Egypt amongst the Italian Egyptian community, but she lived most of her adult life in France. She received 55 gold records and was the first singer to receive a diamond disc. Dalida performed and recorded in more than 10 languages including: French, Arabic, Italian, Greek, German, English, Japanese, Hebrew, Dutch and Spanish.
Despite enormous career success, Dalida’s private life was marred by a series of failed relationships and personal problems.
On Saturday, 2 May 1987, Dalida decided to end her life with an overdose of barbiturates. At the time of her death, Dalida was preparing a new single with two songs. She left a suicide note which read "La vie m'est insupportable... Pardonnez-moi." She died on Sunday 3 May 1987 at around 11:00am. Her body was discovered around 5:00pm the same day. She died at her Montmartre mansion at 11bis Rue d'Orchampt, Paris, France.
Dalida was buried in the Montmartre Cemetery, Paris, and a life-size statue of her was erected outside her tomb. Her translated suicide note reads:

"Life is unbearable for me... Forgive me."

Brad Delp

Bradley E. Delp (June 12, 1951 – March 9, 2007) was an American musician, best known as the lead vocalist of the rock band Boston. Delp was known for his high vocal range.
Delp committed suicide on March 9, 2007, aged 55. He was found dead in his home in Atkinson, New Hampshire, from the smoke of two charcoal grills he lit inside his sealed master bathroom. Delp was found by police and Delp's fiancee together, lying on a pillow on his bathroom floor. Delp left 4 private notes to his family members plus a public note paper-clipped to his shirt which read:

"Mr. Brad Delp. "J'ai une ame solitaire". I am a lonely soul."

The French portion translates more literally as:

"I have a solitary soul."

The official cause of death was listed as carbon monoxide poisoning.

R. Budd Dwyer

Robert Budd Dwyer (November 21, 1939 – January 22, 1987) was an American politician in the state of Pennsylvania. He served from 1971 to 1981 as a Republican member of the Pennsylvania State Senate representing the state's 50th district. He served as the 30th Treasurer of Pennsylvania from January 20, 1981, to January 22, 1987; on that day, Dwyer called a news conference in the Pennsylvania state capital of Harrisburg where he took his own life in front of the gathered reporters with a .357 caliber pistol. Dwyer's suicide was also broadcast to a wide television audience across the state of Pennsylvania.
In the early 1980s, Pennsylvania discovered its state workers had overpaid federal taxes due to errors in state withholding. Many accounting firms competed for a multimillion-dollar contract to determine compensation to each employee. In 1986, Dwyer was convicted of receiving a bribe from a California firm trying to gain the contract. Throughout his trial and after his conviction, he maintained that he was innocent of the charge and that he had been framed. Dwyer was scheduled to be sentenced on those charges on January 23, 1987, the day after his death.
On January 22, 1987, the day Dwyer called a press conference he appeared agitated and nervous. He professed his innocence and declared that he would not resign as state treasurer. Those attending heard his final words:

"I thank the Good Lord for giving me 47 years of exciting challenges, stimulating experiences, many happy occasions, and, most of all, the finest wife and children a man could ever desire. Now my life has changed, for no apparent reason. People who call and write are exasperated and feel helpless. They know I'm innocent and want to help. But in this nation, the world's greatest democracy, there is nothing they can do to prevent me from being punished for a crime they know I did not commit. Some who have called have said that I am a modern-day Job. Judge Muir is also noted for his medieval sentences. I face a maximum sentence of 55 years in prison and a $300,000 fine for being innocent. Judge Demiria has already told the press that he, quote, 'felt invigorated' when we were found guilty, and that he plans to imprison me as a deterrent to other public officials. But it wouldn't be a deterrent because every public official who knows me knows that I am innocent; it wouldn't be a legitimate punishment because I've done nothing wrong. Since I'm a victim of political persecution, my prison would simply be an American gulag. I ask those that believe in me to continue to extend friendship and prayer to my family, to work untiringly for the creation of a true justice system here in the United States, and to press on with the efforts to vindicate me, so that my family and their future families are not tainted by this injustice that has been perpetrated on me. We were confident that right and truth would prevail, and I would be acquitted and we would devote the rest of our lives working to create a justice system here in the United States. The guilty verdict has strengthened that resolve. But as we discuss our plans to expose the warps of our legal system, people have said, 'Why bother, no one cares.' 'You look foolish.' '60 Minutes, 20/20, the ACLU, Jack Anderson, and others have been publicizing cases like yours for years and it doesn't bother anyone."

At this point, Dwyer stopped reading his prepared text. The part he did not read follows:

"I've repeatedly said that I'm not going to resign as State Treasurer. After many hours of thought and meditation I've made a decision that should not be an example to anyone because it is unique to my situation. Last May I told you that after the trial, I would give you the story of the decade. To those of you who are shallow, the events of this morning will be that story. But to those of you with depth and concern the real story will be what I hope and pray results from this morning--in the coming months and years, the development of a true Justice System here in the United States. I am going to die in office in an effort to ...see if the shame facts, spread out in all their shame, will not burn through our civic shamelessness and set fire to American pride. Please tell my story on every radio and television station and in every newspaper and magazine in the U.S. Please leave immediately if you have a weak stomach or mind since I don't want to cause physical or mental distress. Joanne, Rob, DeeDee - I love you! Thank you for making my life so happy. Good bye to you all on the count of 3. Please make sure that the sacrifice of my life is not in vain."

He then removed a gun from an envelope he was holding, placed the gun in his mouth and fired.

George Eastman

George Eastman (July 12, 1854 – March 14, 1932) was an American innovator and entrepreneur who founded the Eastman Kodak Company and invented roll film, helping to bring photography to the mainstream. He had a degenerative disorder, which affected his spine and his walking. Eastman grew increasingly depressed due to his pain, reduced ability to function, and also since he witnessed his mother's suffering from a similar condition. On March 14, 1932, Eastman committed suicide with a single gunshot to the heart, leaving a note which read:

"To my friends: my work is done. Why wait?"

Lee Eun-Ju

Lee Eun-ju was a South Korean actress.
On the night of February 22, 2005, only a few days after her graduation from Dankook University, Lee committed suicide at her apartment in Bundang, Seongnam. She was 24 years old. She slit her wrists and hanged herself. The family blamed the suicide on severe bouts of depression and mental illness, and said she had been suffering from insomnia due to the nude scenes she had done in the film 'The Scarlet Letter'.
She left a suicide note scrawled in blood, in which she wrote (translated):

"Mom, I am sorry and I love you."

A separate note said (translated):

"I wanted to do too much. Even though I live, I'm not really alive. I don't want anyone to be disappointed. It's nice having money... I wanted to make money."

Misao Fujimura

Misao Fujimura (July 1886 – May 22, 1903) was a Japanese philosophy student and poet, largely remembered due to his farewell poem.
Fujimura became distraught when rejected by a girl he loved, Tamiko, the eldest daughter of Kikuchi Dairoku. He traveled to Kegon Falls in Nikko, a famed scenic area, and wrote his farewell poem directly on the trunk of a tree before committing suicide.His grave is at Aoyama Cemetery in Tokyo.
The story was soon sensationalized in contemporary newspapers, and was commented upon by the famed writer Natsume Sōseki, an English teacher at Fujimura's high school. His death also inspired many copycat suicides. His etched suicide poem translates to:

"Delicate line between heaven and earth...
The calm of the ages,
all the world’s worth.
Such minuscule measure,
while we think it so grand…
Just five specks of smallness,
This soft quiet land.
So frail and so fleeting,
in the end you will see
Simple dreams were Horatio’s philosophy.

For all the truth,
all creation,
all secrets of yore
Can be told in an instant,
by then they’re no more.

Ah, The Unexplainable
All worries unsettled,
heartache unresolved…
All questions unanswered,
with death, shall be solved.

We already teeter,
this sheer cliff so high.
When we fall to corruption,
insecurities die.

To end is to start;
to surrender is to know.

Despair and depression,
together they grow.
Hope shall meet hopeless
when there’s nowhere to go."

Pete Ham

Peter William Ham (27 April 1947 – 24 April 1975) was a Welsh singer, songwriter and guitarist, primarily recognized for having been the lead singer/composer of the 70s rock group Badfinger's hit songs, "No Matter What", "Day After Day" and "Baby Blue." He also co-wrote the ballad "Without You", a worldwide Number One hit for Harry Nilsson and it has become a standard song as covered by hundreds of artists consistently throughout the years since. Ham was granted two Ivor Novello Awards related to the song in 1973.
During the Warner Bros. Records era from 1973–75, Badfinger became embroiled in many internal, financial, and managerial problems and their music was stifled. By 1975, with no income and the band's business manager non-communicative, Ham became despondent and he hanged himself in the garage of his Surrey home. Ham was aged 27 at the time; his suicide fell just three days shy of his 28th birthday. At the time of his death, his blood alcohol content was estimated to have been 0.27%. He left behind a pregnant girlfriend, who gave birth to his daughter one month after his death. His suicide note read:

"I will not be allowed to love and trust everybody. This is better. P.S. Stan Polley is a soulless bastard. I will take him with me."

Tony Hancock

Anthony John "Tony" Hancock (12 May 1924 – 24 June 1968) was an English comedian and actor.
Popular during the 1950s and early 1960s, he had a major success with his BBC series Hancock's Half Hour, first on radio from 1954, then on television from 1956, in which he soon formed a strong professional and personal bond with comic actor Sid James. Although Hancock's decision to cease working with James around 1960 disappointed many of his fans at the time, his last BBC series in 1961 contains some of his best remembered work ("The Blood Donor"). After breaking with his scriptwriters Ray Galton and Alan Simpson later that year, his career took a downward course because of his increasing dependence on alcohol.
Hancock committed suicide, by overdose, in Sydney, on 24 June 1968. He was found dead in his Bellevue Hill flat with an empty vodka bottle and a scattering of amylo-barbitone tablets.
In one of his suicide notes he wrote:

"Things just seemed to go too wrong too many times."

Per Ohlin

Per Yngve Ohlin (16 January 1969 – 8 April 1991), better known by his stage name Dead, was a Swedish black metal vocalist and lyricist best known for his work with Norwegian black metal band Mayhem. He also performed as vocalist of the Swedish death metal band Morbid on their demo December Moon.
Ohlin's awkward social situation and his fascination with death caused his mental state to deteriorate greatly. He would often cut himself onstage with a blade or broken bottle. However, he also tried to do so while with his friends, who would have to subdue him and patch him up. Although this upset many of his friends, Euronymous became fascinated with Ohlin's suicidal tendencies—seemingly because it fit Mayhem's image—and according to them, he would often encourage Ohlin to kill himself. Manheim said: "I don't know if Øystein did it out of pure evil or if he was just fooling around."
By 1991, Dead and Euronymous were living in a house in the woods near Kråkstad, which was used as a place for the band to rehearse. Mayhem bassist Necrobutcher said that, after living together for a while, Dead and Euronymous "got on each other's nerves a lot". In early 1991, Varg Vikernes sent Ohlin several shells for his shotgun. On April 8, 1991, while left alone in the house, he slit his wrists and throat with a knife and then shot himself in the forehead with a shotgun. He left a brief suicide note, which apologized for having used the gun indoors and ended with:

"Excuse all the blood".

George Sanders

George Henry Sanders (3 July 1906 – 25 April 1972) was an English film and television actor, singer-songwriter, music composer, and author. His prominent English accent and bass voice often led him to be cast as sophisticated but villainous characters. He is perhaps best known as Addison DeWitt in All About Eve (1950), Jack Favell in Rebecca (1940), and the voice of the malevolent tiger Shere Khan in The Jungle Book (1967). His career spanned more than 40 years.
On 23 April 1972, Sanders checked into a hotel in Castelldefels, a coastal town near Barcelona. He was found dead two days later, having gone into a cardiac arrest. He had taken five bottles of the barbiturate Nembutal. Sanders was 65 years old. The death was officially a suicide since he left behind three gentlemanly suicide notes, which read:

"Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck."

Hunter S. Thompson

Hunter Stockton Thompson (July 18, 1937 – February 20, 2005) was an American journalist and author, and the creator of Gonzo journalism.
Thompson died at his "fortified compound" known as "Owl Farm" in Woody Creek, Colorado, at 5:42 p.m. on February 20, 2005, from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.
Thompson's son (Juan), daughter-in-law (Jennifer) and grandson (Will) were visiting for the weekend at the time of his suicide. Will and Jennifer were in the adjacent room when they heard the gunshot. Mistaking the shot for the sound of a book falling, they continued with their activities for a few minutes before checking on him. The police report concerning his death stated that in a typewriter in front of Thompson, they found "a piece of paper carrying the date 'Feb 22 '05' and the single word 'counselor'.
His suicide note was later published in Rolling Stone magazine issue #983, and read:

"No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun — for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your (old) age. Relax — This won't hurt."

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Old 02-06-2013, 07:18 PM
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Re: Famous Suicide Notes

Dead....gotta love those kooky Norwegian black metal boys.

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Old 02-07-2013, 12:12 AM
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Re: Famous Suicide Notes

Hunter S. Thompson... God be damned if he were still here.

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Old 02-07-2013, 02:12 AM
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Re: Famous Suicide Notes

I LOVE this post! So interesting to look into what their last thoughts were...

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Old 02-07-2013, 03:01 AM
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Re: Famous Suicide Notes

Great post, for sure.

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Old 02-08-2013, 01:52 AM
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Re: Famous Suicide Notes

Great post

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Old 02-08-2013, 07:29 PM
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Re: Famous Suicide Notes

Courtney did a good job on her forgery of the last paragraph

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Old 02-22-2013, 12:53 AM
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Re: Famous Suicide Notes

ill miss mr thompson most of all. great minds like that are extremely rare.i was fifteen when it happened the night after i got done with one of his books. bummer

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Old 02-22-2013, 03:10 AM
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Re: Famous Suicide Notes

This was a very interesting read. I didn't even know some of these people died by their own hand.

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Old 02-22-2013, 10:55 AM
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Re: Famous Suicide Notes

Originally Posted by LadyCPlum View Post
Dead....gotta love those kooky Norwegian black metal boys.

All of us Norwegians are kooky

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