Universal EMS 11 Codes

[Baldy]

EMS Laughs

Universal 11 Codes

11-1 Patient is stoned or drunk or both
11-2 Patient is to fat for spider straps
11-3 Patient stinks. I'm about to hurl
11-4 I think I just blew a vertebrae
11-5 As soon as we finish up with this piece of human bile can we get something to eat
11-6 My bladder has far exceeded it's maximum capacity, Need Immediate Assistance
11-7 My GOD!!!!
11-8 Cancel Christmas; We're about to die
11-9 You're standing on my hemorrhoid
11-10 Patient's natural aroma is burning my eyes
11-11 Yes this patient has Medicaid and yes we're bringing them in
11-12 *$&@!#&$% (Explicative of your choice)
11-13 Patient has consumed enough ETOHL to sedate a rouge elephant in heat
11-14 Patient is a Jackass
11-15 Patient is a Drunk Jackass
11-16 Patient is a Stoned Jackass
11-17 Patient is combative; Syncopal episode secondary to asphyxia is imminent and probable
11-18 Patient's family tree is a 2X4
11-19 Patient's spouse is (His/Her) (Brother/Sister) and Cousin
11-20 Patient is suffering from CWID
11-21 Patient is suffering from CFD
11-22 Patient is suffering from CPP
11-23 Patient involved in CBTIDT incident
11-24 Patient possible DNR
11-25 Patient is combative and has (struck/kick/spit on/cursed) EMS personnel: Patient Protective Trauma Protocol has been initiated
11-26 Where in God's name are we?
11-27 What is that smell?
11-28 Satnd Clear! (He/She/It)'s about to spew
11-29 Cluster @&#%* in progress
11-30 Be advised: FULL BODY CONDOM PROTOCOL strongly suggested
11-31 Need (PD/SO/Marines/Calvary/Priest) to respond to our location STAT
11-32 Patient is obese; Need assistance to help extricate LSB from patient's butt crack
11-33 Our ETA is less than 5 minutes; Make sure there's film in the camera cause you're not going to believe this one
11-34 Medical Control; We're unable to tell which member of this monobrowed, inbred, buck mmed, cross-eyed, family is the patient
11-35 Need assistance; Ambulance buried to mirrors in patient's yard. Call wrecker service
11-36 Patient involved in FSTGA; Request orders to show patient how to do it right



CWID Chronic Worthless Individual Syndrome
CPP Controlled Procreation Program
DNR Drunk Needing A Ride
CFD Chronic Funk Disorder
CBTIDT Can't Believe This Idiot Did This
FSTGA Fake Suicide To Get Attention